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latatianna

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Help! My husband wants to see me have sex with another man

Okay, So me and my husband are a open couple when it comes to talking. However recently he has been asking if I would be okay with having a threesome with another guy before we start having sex and I guess the thought turns him on and he will be talking about it what he wants me to do to the other guy while we are having sex. He also said to me before he would love to masturbate while me and the other guy are having sex. The thought doesn't turn me on as much as it turns him on.

I am lost for words, because sometimes I wil tell myself in my head 'yes, i'll do it to to please him because that turns me on' 'i might like it anyway'. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at times too where I think if we do have a threesome or it doesn't work out how our feelings are going to be afterwards. I just want to know if anyone has expierenced this before and how to react in my situation.

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Don't be pressured into something you don't want to do or something that you're unsure of. What Dan and Jenn say in situations such as this is that it's ok as long as everybody involved is in agreement and nobody is getting hurt in the process. But if you have any doubts in your mind, it's probably a good idea not to go through with it.

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There is a very simple primal answer to why your husband enjoys this so. Sperm Competition Syndrome. All men are born with it.

Before the church and modern morals females were free to mate with as many males as they cared to. It was good for the species, whether the female's mate liked it or not.

According to the former editor of Penthouse Forum, the number one story, desire and fantasy that flooded their mailboxes was the desire on the part of men to see their wives or girlfriends with another man. It's very common yet such a taboo though few will admit to having the fantasy.

The reason it turns on so many millions of men around the world is quite simple and biological. Sperm competition syndrome is triggered when a man or other primate sees his partner with another man, is told of it, suspects it, or can even occur when he is absent from her for even a brief period of time. When he next has sex with his partner (and he will want to immediately) he will have an orgasm 3 times stronger than usual, his pelvic thrusts will be 3 times as hard. There's one simple explanation for this: he wants to make sure the baby is his.

This desire has nothing to do with a man's masculinity, sexuality or psychology. It is primal, plain and simple. Enjoy.

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It is indeed a common fantasy of many guys. While I don't agree that it has to do with some primal instinct to procreate and make sure his sperm is dominant, I think it has a lot to do psychology. While it is hard for a lot of women to understand and it can make you feel bad (the first time my husband brought it up I felt like he didn't cherish me even though I knew in my head that it had nothing to do with that), it is actually based on control, power, and ownership. While that makes a lot of feminist scream in frustration the idea behind it is that you are so much his that he can share you with others. However, when it is all said and done he takes you home and gets to keep you.

I wasn't okay with it at first and would often go along with it while we were having sex, but I let him know how I really felt when the "heat of the moment" was gone. Over time (a period of over a year) it started to turn me on a lot. I am still not turned on by other men, I have no desire to be with another man without my husband there, but I do enjoy having sex with other men while my husband is there. Sometimes he watches, sometimes he takes pictures, sometimes he touches me (which is really nice), and other times I give him a blow job or touch him while enjoying it all. It really can be a lot of fun.

Don't be pushed into it, but try to keep an open mind and start slow. Make sure you do a lot of talking about it (both during sex and at other times). Tell him how you are feeling at all times. Find a guy who is relaxed, who knows you might not go through with it, and then see how it goes. Make it so that you can talk and stop it no matter where you are at (I don't care if he is inside you, if you aren't comfortable then stop the action). Then talk about it afterward. It is possible that you both will love it or that neither of you will love it. Either way is acceptable!

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latatianna wrote:

Okay, So me and my husband are a open couple when it comes to talking. However recently he has been asking if I would be okay with having a threesome with another guy before we start having sex and I guess the thought turns him on and he will be talking about it what he wants me to do to the other guy while we are having sex. He also said to me before he would love to masturbate while me and the other guy are having sex. The thought doesn't turn me on as much as it turns him on.

I am lost for words, because sometimes I wil tell myself in my head 'yes, i'll do it to to please him because that turns me on' 'i might like it anyway'. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at times too where I think if we do have a threesome or it doesn't work out how our feelings are going to be afterwards. I just want to know if anyone has expierenced this before and how to react in my situation.

I had fantasies about seeing my wife with other men and we expermented quite a bit in swinging. I really get turned on watching her fuck some guy. Recently though she took the reigns and began to seek out men persue them and the level of intensity she displayed with them scared the hell out of me and now our relationship is on the rocks. Sometimes a fantasy is better left a fantasy. And you doing something just to turn him on may leave a bad taste in your mouth that will last for a long long time.

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I agree with DaniMarie. She gives good advice.

I suggest you agree on "rules" for this and put them into writing. It won't keep someone from having their feelings hurt but at least they've agreed to the situation.

I hope it goes well. And good for you for trying something your husband wants. Next is your turn!

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scarbowl wrote:

I agree with DaniMarie. She gives good advice.

I suggest you agree on "rules" for this and put them into writing. It won't keep someone from having their feelings hurt but at least they've agreed to the situation.

I hope it goes well. And good for you for trying something your husband wants. Next is your turn!

I agree with DaniMarie too. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything you truly do not want to do.

Also, talking about this in non-sexual situations is key in getting to the bottom of what he wants and what you are comfortable in doing. Effective communication is critical.

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As several had said already, do not let him pressure you into doing anything you do not want to do. Have you considered having a real threesome with your husband and another guy... where the 2 guys are there to please you. It may be the feeling of putting on a show for your hubby you are opposed to. Talk things over... but not when in bed... and see if there is some middle ground you two can work with.... Sandi

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I agree with most of the above too. Don't let him/her pressure you into doing anything you truly do not want to do. It could be amazing or it could be a straight nightmare if you really do not want to.

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God i feel like i am spamming the other site, but check out Your Hot Wives Forum

i share this fantasy with your hubby, and that is a great community for advice on that specific topic.

In fact both myself and my wife are members there, and are working on communicating and understanding this topic together.

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just wondering do all guys have this feddish or am i nutts ? or do i just feal this way after taking to much of my stimulanting meds ?

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I know what your husband is feeling. I have the same fantasy. I have done roleplay with my wife but we never made it a reality. This does not mean that he doesn't love you. He just has a cuckholding fetish called sperm competition. I have fantasized about sharing my wife for about four years. I find it hard to control when I take stimulants. I have been told by many phsycotherapists including my wifes own doctor that 8 out of 10 guys have this syndrome. She even said 90 % of guys just masturbate or act it out during roleplay. Some people have told me that this comes in handy for the loving wife when she hits her sexual peak. I chickened out on telling this to my wife's doctor because I felt intimidated. the real question is if you really wanted this some day would your husband be able to handle it? If you really want to try it, do what my friend at the beach told me. Do it in a controlled sexual environment, she said plan it, do roleplay 10 times before trying it. See how he responds.

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mike smith wrote:

I know what your husband is feeling. I have the same fantasy. I have done roleplay with my wife but we never made it a reality. This does not mean that he doesn't love you. He just has a cuckholding fetish called sperm competition. I have fantasized about sharing my wife for about four years. I find it hard to control when I take stimulants. I have been told by many phsycotherapists including my wifes own doctor that 8 out of 10 guys have this syndrome. She even said 90 % of guys just masturbate or act it out during roleplay. Some people have told me that this comes in handy for the loving wife when she hits her sexual peak. I chickened out on telling this to my wife's doctor because I felt intimidated. the real question is if you really wanted this some day would your husband be able to handle it? If you really want to try it, do what my friend at the beach told me. Do it in a controlled sexual environment, she said plan it, do roleplay 10 times before trying it. See how he responds.

This is his wife. I really enjoy the roleplay and we have amazing sex as a result of the fantasy. At this point I am very upset at the fact that he wants to share me but in time I think I will realize he is just having this fantasy to make sure that i get pleased in all aspects of my sexuality. I love him for that. Just dont do it to please him because you will probably get hurt in the end.

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Threeways are a popular fantasy but very difficult to implement. Would you feel more relaxed with someone you know as the second guy? If so, who do you ask? If he says "no" then you have to be constantly reminded of your embarrassment every time you see that person. So to avoid embarrassment, you could ask a stranger. But do you think you could enjoy having sex with someone who you know nothing about? Even if the idea of bringing in a second guy excites you, what happens if you enjoy it but your husband doesn't. Almost as bad is if you didn't like it but your husband did and wants to do it again and again.

It might make a nice fantasy but in reality it leaves a lot to be desired.

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I understand what you are dealing with. Several months ago my wife and I began discussing/considering 3 ways, swapping, ect. The subject became an obsession for me. I finally broke down and admitted that it was not something I was going to be able to do, at least for now. It is a fun subject to fantasize about but turning into realty ran into more than I could handle. The subject still comes up from time to time, and we may take the plunge someday but for now, for us fantasy is better staying fantasy.

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My wife,s mother told me that my wifesharing fanticy would come in handy when she hits her secual peak and it happend.

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I understand that trusting terri is key to her expermenting with open relationships !! I just descusted this with her tonight she could be with some guy from the gym and i trust her, that is why I bought her skin tite sexy shorts at wall mart yesterday!!! She said to me i was scard she would leave. The fact is I am happy for her she firmed up and i trust her to make good secual desictions!!!

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yes i will tell her about the gym fantisy

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Yes to lower my inabistions The gym fantisy is more powerfull than and other one. The bigest fantisy was the one about her mom hooking her with marice.And yes i would alow her to because i trust her. The bottie shorts were a big success I will try to look at her in the sexy shorts and think about that!!!!!! also i thought about it

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OK FINE I AM READY TO ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!! If she did what my fantisy was that would be ok . The other described thing i would not be mad at her because i trust Terri, should I tell her I want to but i am nervious. I would not be mad it would turn me on a lot if it did happpen and i trust her i think i will tell her!! Today!!! It probally wont happen only in fanticy but to answer your question yes i would alow it all she would have to do is conperce me or tantilize me!!!!!!!!! I love her so much that It would drive me nuts!!!

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This was actually my wife's idea and it was the best thing to happen to our marriage. We both chose the guy and made sure we were both ready. The night was spectacular, she really enjoyed herself and I must say it was a huge turn on (even though the guy was a lot bigger than me) now it's a regular thing.

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why dont you tell her about you x es 2 boyfriends like the motherin law wanted you to!! Admit to her that you gave her mother permission to interduce to him. Have you told her how proud of her father you ar ?

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Fine I will post because everyone wants me to. yes it turned me on when i found out her dad let her do the same thing!!! 35 years yes. and yes her mother asked me if i would alow her to bring him to her i said yes!! she said i will do it at work !! i worked nights!!Fine i interduced my ex to a guy and she dated him for 7 monts!! And no i am not mad at her mom if she did because i gave her permission to she said when u go to work i will them she asked

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the plumer kid wants to feal her chest i will tell her everything about our conversation

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she said it turned her on she used to enjoy when sue did that. i only hade i few min to talk to her dad but i told him we will talk we we come down in nov No she does not know about how much it turned me on before why i never to ld terri!! but yes when she asked me how that would make me feal i told her it turned me on so we went out and talked about it then i upstares tenit told me to help him with his case i got so turned on i helped him to get it to 250000 thousand and yes terris mom knows because i told her. And no i olly told terri 50 percent of what i told her mom yes i told her mom everthing then she told her dad her dad likes me for that and yes even her dad said to tell her about my x es boyfrind sam when i am ready yes i am going to tell her about the naked thing tonight!!!

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i dont think her mom told her everthing no thats my job what really turned me on is when her mom told me to feall free to talk to her about it Yes we did every time we were alone driving i used to take exter jus to talk to her mom right I want to take your aviice tonight and pretend her mom is terri and tell her everything especcally if the sex is that good jen i would love to admit to terri i told her mom that!!!! everybody at work knew brian said that all knew ther to i wanted to her mom was my phicotherpest for 7 months!!!!!!

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yes the plumer said he does like older sexy ok i asked him just now i called him he said yes he would love to fuck terri !!! he wants to see her front and back bare he said o and yes her mother told me she would not she wanted me to tell terri about the bennifets of haveing a open relationship her mom did encourge me to let her do the same thing as befor because it turns me on yes her mon demanded i tell her about d also my x never did that for me only told me about it d did it for a year terris mom was a tell also her mom asked me what if she only wants to tell me about it i like that And to answer your question right now you mean i would be happy with hearing about it yes her mom told me about how it turned her on with mike i am thinking about telling terri about the new fantisy from that so she would know

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Mike, what is your question?

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