photo

Cassandra Gorz

shared this question
1 year ago

Moderators Involved

photo

Beagle

Official Representative

Activity

5
Comments
1
Views

Relates to

Share

1
votes

Sex with my Paraplegic Fiancé

Hi my name is Cassie. I am engaged to a paraplegic man. We met last July 2 months after his accident. We used to have a pretty hot sex life but with no penetration except for when he could keep an erection for maybe 5-10 min but it isn't fully hard. He got into a second accident which set him back so much. He is in so much pain but there are days when we fool around and there are days when he isn't in alot of pain but while he is in so much pain I'm dying of sexual frustration that I lash out at him for no reason. I feel so bad because I don't mean to and I know it isn't his fault why he can't please me sexually.

Lately I have been looking at him and I'm starting to lose attraction of him but I know it is because I just want him to lay on top of me and make love to me and I'm sick of the fingering I get once in a while because I'm not on top of him while he's doing it so I can't even make it like we are making love its like we are just trying to get me off so I'm good for another couple weeks. I am an extremely sexual person, I've always been and recently I've even been pushing him away from touching my vagina and when he tries to turn me on, it just doesn't work. I just want to love him like I want to and feel him inside me. I cry alot about it and I am so jealous about my friends relationships because they can just have sex whenever and I can't ever and that is such a huge deal to me because it is such a release and I love it. If I could I would have sex all the time. My last boyfriend we had sex about 9 times a week and it was amazing. I'm starting to dream about having sex with other men and even women. He is such an amazing man and I love him so much and he loves me and I will never leave him but I just really I needed to vent this to someone because I can't to anybody. If anyone can give me advice that would be amazing. Thankyou.

Add Comment

Comments (5)

photo Moderator
1

Hi, Cassie. I read this post and your reply to the gentleman who was paralyzed. Obviously, there isn't a quick suggestion. I've worked with handicapped student services during college, so I'm familiar with these issues at least from a clinical perspective.

One thing is perfectly apparent. If you are this frustrated now, you aren't going to be able to sustain this for the long haul. The link in your previous post contained some ideas for "work arounds," but I'm not sure if he would be physically able to utilize any of them. It sounds like probably not, but that might be a conversation to have with his physical therapist. We can probably figure out a way to get you to an orgasm, but not to replicate the closeness that comes with intercourse.

An open relationship might be an option for the two of you. I don't know you well enough to say I recommend that, but you and him might explore it.

There's not a right or wrong answer here. You do need to reach out to someone, because it sounds like you're pretty isolated, at least emotionally. Just putting things into words to another human being has a healing power.

photo
1

Thank you for responding. There is no way he would go for an open relationship idk if I would like it that much either because I know I would end up feeling distant from my fiancé and I think begin to resent him. I found this thing called the intimate rider ill give you the link to it but I think it actually will work for us. It's just that it is pretty expensive so we won't be able to get that for a while. It's just for the past 8 months it has been completely about him and his pain and my life is on hold so with that stress and my sexual frustration I've been breaking. But you have to understand how much I love him and what an amazing man he is and how I would never leave him. Just having this forum to talk to someone and have some support is enough for me right now until things get better. So thankyou for listening to me you don't know how much I appreciate it.

photo
1

Oh here is the link for that intimate rider.

http://www.intimaterider.com/

photo Moderator
1

Thank you for that link. I didn't know such a thing existed. That's good information to have, since the topic does come up from time to time. Thank you for taking the time to share it. I hope you hang around on the forums, because your knowledge and experience in this area will definitely be helpful to people.

photo
1

Thank you and I definitely will be. Thank you for listening and talking I me.

Leave Comment

photo

Attach files...

The file must be a jpg, gif, png, bmp, ico, pdf, doc, rtf, txt, zip or rar no more than 1M