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matthew04

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3 years ago

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Why is my boyfriend not interested in sex? Is it me or Him?

I consider my self a pretty sexy woman, when provocked i can be very confident in bed and be motivated to turn him on in way nescessary. Unfortunately, my boyfriend leaves no room for experiment he swears on anything that he is simply too tired.. i mean its understandable that he can be pooped from his days he does work in construction after all it could be tiring... but it occured to me?? who in there right mind is too tired for sex! I know not me... Let me give you the down low... He has not had sex with another woman for 6 years... he was never the type to just go sleep around randomly to please himself... im 22 he is 24... i dont get it... you would think that are sex life should be at its best now more then ever but its so bad that even when i try to tempt him he refuses... Talk about rejection!! I trust him and dont suspect him to be sleeping around. Im just sick of rejection so sick in fact that im starting to lose my own self confidence. Yes i have tried talking to him about it. Its always the same answer with no improvements "Babe, I do think your sexy, im just too tired" blah blah I dont know what to do!! We talk about everything and are improving on everything except sex.

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Never read yoru whole story but theres alota things that can make sex for a man just outta the question me and my girlfriend have had sex everyday for the last however long not even over shootin that but its because i can be good in bed and she craves it but she gives it to me to often i crave it less, and if im tired, sore, not in the mood, she almost gets upset put those into the equation.

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Tell him to take a few days off work to recharge his batteries. One of two things will happen from this:

1. He feels refreshed and will want sex because his job isn't causing him stress and draining his energy.

2. He still feels like he doesn't want to have sex but will no longer be able to use the "I'm too tired" card. Then you know the problem lies elsewhere.

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How often do you two have sex right now?

If he was able to make you feel sexually attractive, would you still be wanting the sex as much?

Are there ways, other than sex, for him to show his attraction towards you sexually?

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Most men are turned on by just the thought of a naked woman. I'd say that there is something unusual about your husband. It isn't just about being tired. I can't speculate about what it might be but it sounds as though some counseling is in order. I'm sure it is frustrating and worrying. Get some advice on your relationship, though, don't go just to find out "what is wrong with him." He won't like that and you won't get his participation. Think of it more broadly and suggest you find some advice - it could be a pastor if he doesn't like the idea of therapy.

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I know just how you feel! My husband and I are both in our early 20s, physically fit, attractive, etc. and I swear we'd hardly be having sex at all if it weren't for my persistence. And it is hard to stay so persistent when my husband's rejection wears my confidence so thin as well. He's always tired, or sore, or heartburny, or headachy, or something.

His most recent hypothesis on why his libido is so low is because we've moved to a state he doesn't like, and he's stuck working with people he doesn't get along with; considering our time-line that does seem to fit, but because of the military we can't do anything about any of that for another 2 years. I'm not sure if this would help your boyfriend, although a change of scenery couldn't hurt - try taking a vacation if you can or starting a new activity together like a couple's dance class or something. Change in another area of life might inspire change in that area of life. ;)

It may even be a medical issue, like low testosterone levels. An ex of mine who had even less interest in sex (he also swore it wasn't because I wasn't sexy enough) found out after I broke up with him (because I didn't feel fulfilled - go figure) that his ex-wife had been poisoning him with heavy metals, which resulted in low testosterone and a number of other health problems. If he has medical insurance, your BF should at least be willing to go to the doctor to have some tests run to make sure it's not a hormone imbalance (or even something more serious) especially since that can cause other health problems too, and at least to rule that possibility out.

When all else fails, and I know this can be hard to attempt with suffering self-esteem, but if you can muster it, the next time he says he's "too tired" to have sex, masturbate next to him. Don't say anything about it, and don't be shy about it. Make all the noise you normally would and move around as much you want - it gets my husband every time, although I'm careful to use it sparingly so he doesn't get too used to it, and so I don't feel guilty about using it "against him." You'd be surprised how awake that can make someone, but if that doesn't get him going, and there isn't anything medically wrong with him, I don't know what to tell you.

Good luck! I hope everything works out. :)

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