Response title
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WARNING THIS IS A LONG POST AS THE SITUATION IS VERY COMPLICATED:
I am in college, senoir, didn't plan to fall for anybody this year as I planned to just finish my double major. However, first day I come back, bam, I meet this girl at a party who is smart, beautiful, and funny. So I approached her, I wanted to get to know her. 30 minutes later, I know I am in love, her image is in my head every time I am not focusing on school work.
We spent about 1 hour at the party just talking to each other. I walk her back to our dorms, we live in the same dorms but different floors. She and I talk for about 15 minutes at the steps, and we part ways. I add her to face book. Next day we pass a few message, she asks me if I was attending a certain orientation meeting. I tell her I am, and she says that I am not alone since she is also comming. So we go to this second meeting, we talk, I get to know her better. And then we walk back, again we spend 15-20 minutes just hanging around the stairs.
That night, I check her facebook more carefully and I realise that she has a boyfriend, and they went to the same highschool and they attend the same college as me. So I guess they are highschool sweethearts. A week later I ask her, in a casual manner, to have dinner in the school dining hall, she agrees. Dining hall dinner lasted about one and a half hour. She smiled a lot and we both had a great time(basically laughing every minute). From this dinner I got the impression that she also had a certain interest in me. First of all she asked about my past relationships, and told me about hers. If she wasn't interested in me why would she want to know about the types of women I like. She also hinted that she has never dated intellectual types and was kind of interested in them. She also touched on the subject of having purple hair, and ask why I wasn't put off by it. I answered the best as I could during the limited amount of time we had, she had a meeting and it was almost time to go.
Next day I text her, and she doesn't reply immediately. She tells me that she just broke up. I send a few words of comfort. Next day I call her(first phone call) to check if she is ok. She says that she is leaving town to finalize the breakup. While she is away I sent her an email.
My letter
My condolences for the departure of your dog. It is never easy to lose such a close companion. In some ways I understand your loss, my cat(I adopted him from a cat shelter ) died this summer.
If it may be of any comfort to you, when you come back you have at least the support of one person. I hope that you may overcome your grief soon.
From a person who wishes you well,
X
P.S
Last wednesday, after dinner, you asked me if I was "freaked out" by you and you told me to respond via facebook. The answer is no, and your purple hair is rather attractive. Despite the fact that I find your purple streak hypnotic, it was not the initial reason for me to approach you.(You also ask me about this)
My answer on that day was the partial truth. I did not answer fully since it is too complicated to explain in a few words. Yes, I did not know why I talked to you, that was curiosity and chance. However what happened for the next hour was not mere coincidence. I stayed and talked to you because I felt we somehow connected. You are smart, have a brilliant laugh, have sense of humor, and you have this dazzling wild rebellious creative energy. You produce an image of freedom and grace, yet at the same time you have a deep sense of maturity. I do wish that these words could describe what I saw/felt, but I can only say that such words only pale in comparison with the reality. I hope that my answer can satisfy your curiosity, unless of course your question was of another nature. That is, what I find physically attractive. If your question was about the material realm, then my answer would be your hands and shoulders. The way you held your cup defines elegance. Only one word can possibly define your shoulders, "sexy".
I have answered your questions to the best of my limited human capacities. Now that you know my answer, I believe that it is my turn ask the same question that you asked me. Are you "freaked out"? [Insert evil grinning face] I will be waiting for your answer.
BTW if you wonder why I am so wordy, I can only say that it is due to the fact that I study literature for both of my majors. LOL You are in no way obliged to write a long message, you can simply call me when you feel ready.
Her answer to my P.S
Thanks for answering my question, you are quite brave :P As far as your answer goes, although it made me smile, you are far too flattering... I'm pretty sure most of those things aren't true... just ask any of my ex's... haha
Now to your question: No, I am most definitely not freaked out. Although I cannot describe your attributes with quite the same poetic display, I can say that I find you incredibly interesting to carry on a conversation with. I think you are intelligent at a depth I do not quite understand, and it is a little intimidating. You are extremely empathetic and compassionate to a level that seems selfless... although my problems were entirely trivial, you still took the time to see if everything was ok, and I really do appreciate it.
I now completely understand why you are pursuing literature... I expect one day you will publish your monologue about carrying cables into the treacherous X mountains and be at the top of the NY Times bestsellers list. At this point I will walk around X and tell everyone I know that I had dinner at the dining hall with this award winning author.
End of letters
So here I am thinking that wow maybe she likes me too. Especially since she told me consult her past love interest groups for information, so she might consider me to be in the dating pool.
after a few days we meet up again, and we have chocolate other sugary goods at midnight. I convince her to not stay on a less than 1000 calorie diet, and basically tempt her to eat more so that she doesn't go undernourished. Then I convince her to take her vitamins.(I really care for this girl, and I really don't want her to starve to death) All is going fine up to this point. Next day I bump into her at lunch, and I assumed that she is not eating ans still on a diet(she was only in the smoothie line and that raised suspicions). I said, something similar to "Oh not eating?", and she responded " Why do you always assume?". I grabbed my food, and litterally just left. Basically I felt like an arrogant ass after our conversation since I had no right to presume anything on her part, and should have trusted her a bit more. So I call her up, and ask her if I can apologize in person. (The twist part is comming next)
I go to her room, and apologize only for the way I acted and insisted that I would not apologize for caring about her health and wellbeing. Then I asked her out, since I wanted to continue to see her but I don't want to be stuck in the friend zone. She said that her situation was complicated, and then I asked about the futur, she said maybe and smiled. Now everything was fine up till here, until I sent her this the night of that event:
I cannot change the way I see you, because I don't have control over my emotions. I can stifle them, but I cannot erase them. I cannot change what I feel because it is not fickle.
If you want to just hang out, and stuff, I can do that. I can wait until you are ready to date because I care a great deal about you and my feelings are true. I don't want to cause you any more emotional damage than you have suffered from your breakup so I will wait as long as you need. There is no need to rush.
I asked you out on a date because I could not bear to lie to you. It would not be honest to both you and me if I only pretended to show platonic interests in you. And lies will always lead to greater damage. I hope that in the future, your heart will find space to accomodate me.
Although I want to have a romantic relationship with you, it does not exclude any platonic bonds. Friends and lovers are not mutually exclusive roles. A true lover is also a true friend, confidante and companion. Basically, if you want to chill, relax, and eat chocolate doughnuts or cookies(I will eventually buy some) feel free to drop by. You are always welcome, and it is no burden for me to give some of my spare time to you.
I am going to try and find some real chocolates this weekend. If I find anything good, I will facebook you. I hope to find low calorie + low sugar chocolates although I have my doubts. If I make you uncomfortable in any way please say so and I will take a few steps back.
End of letter
After that she started ignoring my messages, and phone calls. I tried to ask her to dinner, to clear things up today but she said she was busy so I called at night. It wasn't too early or too late, but I knew she was back since she told me what time she would be comming back.
Did I seriously screw up near the end?(I think so) Or did I completely fuck up all along the way?
Should I have stayed in the friend zone?
Should I just forget about her(this will be hard)?
Should I wait on her and try to patch things up and become friends?
Is she trying to ignore me or is she playing hard to get?
Maybe she is busy....
Am I suffocating her?
Did I come on as too strong and pushy?
Was I obssesive(I am a bit since I cannot reason properly when I am thinking about her)? Should I just not contact her for a few days and resume contact again on monday?
Should I just to her room and ask her for clarification?
Am I going crazy?
I am just completely at a loss at what am I suppose to do. At times like these I wish there was a love instruction manual. Oh I know for a fact that her Ex is probably still trying to cling onto her even though she broke up with him.
I am in college, senoir, didn't plan to fall for anybody this year as I planned to just finish my double major. However, first day I come back, bam, I meet this girl at a party who is smart, beautiful, and funny. So I approached her, I wanted to get to know her. 30 minutes later, I know I am in love, her image is in my head every time I am not focusing on school work.
We spent about 1 hour at the party just talking to each other. I walk her back to our dorms, we live in the same dorms but different floors. She and I talk for about 15 minutes at the steps, and we part ways. I add her to face book. Next day we pass a few message, she asks me if I was attending a certain orientation meeting. I tell her I am, and she says that I am not alone since she is also comming. So we go to this second meeting, we talk, I get to know her better. And then we walk back, again we spend 15-20 minutes just hanging around the stairs.
That night, I check her facebook more carefully and I realise that she has a boyfriend, and they went to the same highschool and they attend the same college as me. So I guess they are highschool sweethearts. A week later I ask her, in a casual manner, to have dinner in the school dining hall, she agrees. Dining hall dinner lasted about one and a half hour. She smiled a lot and we both had a great time(basically laughing every minute). From this dinner I got the impression that she also had a certain interest in me. First of all she asked about my past relationships, and told me about hers. If she wasn't interested in me why would she want to know about the types of women I like. She also hinted that she has never dated intellectual types and was kind of interested in them. She also touched on the subject of having purple hair, and ask why I wasn't put off by it. I answered the best as I could during the limited amount of time we had, she had a meeting and it was almost time to go.
Next day I text her, and she doesn't reply immediately. She tells me that she just broke up. I send a few words of comfort. Next day I call her(first phone call) to check if she is ok. She says that she is leaving town to finalize the breakup. While she is away I sent her an email.
My letter
My condolences for the departure of your dog. It is never easy to lose such a close companion. In some ways I understand your loss, my cat(I adopted him from a cat shelter ) died this summer.
If it may be of any comfort to you, when you come back you have at least the support of one person. I hope that you may overcome your grief soon.
From a person who wishes you well,
X
P.S
Last wednesday, after dinner, you asked me if I was "freaked out" by you and you told me to respond via facebook. The answer is no, and your purple hair is rather attractive. Despite the fact that I find your purple streak hypnotic, it was not the initial reason for me to approach you.(You also ask me about this)
My answer on that day was the partial truth. I did not answer fully since it is too complicated to explain in a few words. Yes, I did not know why I talked to you, that was curiosity and chance. However what happened for the next hour was not mere coincidence. I stayed and talked to you because I felt we somehow connected. You are smart, have a brilliant laugh, have sense of humor, and you have this dazzling wild rebellious creative energy. You produce an image of freedom and grace, yet at the same time you have a deep sense of maturity. I do wish that these words could describe what I saw/felt, but I can only say that such words only pale in comparison with the reality. I hope that my answer can satisfy your curiosity, unless of course your question was of another nature. That is, what I find physically attractive. If your question was about the material realm, then my answer would be your hands and shoulders. The way you held your cup defines elegance. Only one word can possibly define your shoulders, "sexy".
I have answered your questions to the best of my limited human capacities. Now that you know my answer, I believe that it is my turn ask the same question that you asked me. Are you "freaked out"? [Insert evil grinning face] I will be waiting for your answer.
BTW if you wonder why I am so wordy, I can only say that it is due to the fact that I study literature for both of my majors. LOL You are in no way obliged to write a long message, you can simply call me when you feel ready.
Her answer to my P.S
Thanks for answering my question, you are quite brave :P As far as your answer goes, although it made me smile, you are far too flattering... I'm pretty sure most of those things aren't true... just ask any of my ex's... haha
Now to your question: No, I am most definitely not freaked out. Although I cannot describe your attributes with quite the same poetic display, I can say that I find you incredibly interesting to carry on a conversation with. I think you are intelligent at a depth I do not quite understand, and it is a little intimidating. You are extremely empathetic and compassionate to a level that seems selfless... although my problems were entirely trivial, you still took the time to see if everything was ok, and I really do appreciate it.
I now completely understand why you are pursuing literature... I expect one day you will publish your monologue about carrying cables into the treacherous X mountains and be at the top of the NY Times bestsellers list. At this point I will walk around X and tell everyone I know that I had dinner at the dining hall with this award winning author.
End of letters
So here I am thinking that wow maybe she likes me too. Especially since she told me consult her past love interest groups for information, so she might consider me to be in the dating pool.
after a few days we meet up again, and we have chocolate other sugary goods at midnight. I convince her to not stay on a less than 1000 calorie diet, and basically tempt her to eat more so that she doesn't go undernourished. Then I convince her to take her vitamins.(I really care for this girl, and I really don't want her to starve to death) All is going fine up to this point. Next day I bump into her at lunch, and I assumed that she is not eating ans still on a diet(she was only in the smoothie line and that raised suspicions). I said, something similar to "Oh not eating?", and she responded " Why do you always assume?". I grabbed my food, and litterally just left. Basically I felt like an arrogant ass after our conversation since I had no right to presume anything on her part, and should have trusted her a bit more. So I call her up, and ask her if I can apologize in person. (The twist part is comming next)
I go to her room, and apologize only for the way I acted and insisted that I would not apologize for caring about her health and wellbeing. Then I asked her out, since I wanted to continue to see her but I don't want to be stuck in the friend zone. She said that her situation was complicated, and then I asked about the futur, she said maybe and smiled. Now everything was fine up till here, until I sent her this the night of that event:
I cannot change the way I see you, because I don't have control over my emotions. I can stifle them, but I cannot erase them. I cannot change what I feel because it is not fickle.
If you want to just hang out, and stuff, I can do that. I can wait until you are ready to date because I care a great deal about you and my feelings are true. I don't want to cause you any more emotional damage than you have suffered from your breakup so I will wait as long as you need. There is no need to rush.
I asked you out on a date because I could not bear to lie to you. It would not be honest to both you and me if I only pretended to show platonic interests in you. And lies will always lead to greater damage. I hope that in the future, your heart will find space to accomodate me.
Although I want to have a romantic relationship with you, it does not exclude any platonic bonds. Friends and lovers are not mutually exclusive roles. A true lover is also a true friend, confidante and companion. Basically, if you want to chill, relax, and eat chocolate doughnuts or cookies(I will eventually buy some) feel free to drop by. You are always welcome, and it is no burden for me to give some of my spare time to you.
I am going to try and find some real chocolates this weekend. If I find anything good, I will facebook you. I hope to find low calorie + low sugar chocolates although I have my doubts. If I make you uncomfortable in any way please say so and I will take a few steps back.
End of letter
After that she started ignoring my messages, and phone calls. I tried to ask her to dinner, to clear things up today but she said she was busy so I called at night. It wasn't too early or too late, but I knew she was back since she told me what time she would be comming back.
Did I seriously screw up near the end?(I think so) Or did I completely fuck up all along the way?
Should I have stayed in the friend zone?
Should I just forget about her(this will be hard)?
Should I wait on her and try to patch things up and become friends?
Is she trying to ignore me or is she playing hard to get?
Maybe she is busy....
Am I suffocating her?
Did I come on as too strong and pushy?
Was I obssesive(I am a bit since I cannot reason properly when I am thinking about her)? Should I just not contact her for a few days and resume contact again on monday?
Should I just to her room and ask her for clarification?
Am I going crazy?
I am just completely at a loss at what am I suppose to do. At times like these I wish there was a love instruction manual. Oh I know for a fact that her Ex is probably still trying to cling onto her even though she broke up with him.
