Ask Dan & Jennifer

The first thing you have to do is to accept that there is a serious problem here, and it's just not going to go away. That being said, I see two possibilities-One, he has erectile dysfunction and is covering it up. Two, he has some psychological issues about sexual activity that he is avoiding dealing with.

If waiting for sex was an issue of his values, he wouldn't be sleeping with you. This issue isn't going to go away until he takes the initiative to solve it. If he has difficulty with an erection, then he needs to see a medical doctor to rule out a medication side effect or underlying medical condition, such as diabetes. If he has emotional issues that are driving this problem, then he will require professional attention for that as well. Since you don't mention other problems, I"m presuming we're not dealing with disabling depression or anxiety. Therefore, I would recommend a therapist specializing in sexual issues.

In my business, I can' t make a lot of guarantees, but I can guarantee that this isn't going to get better unless he is willing to take drastic action. You can counsel and support him, but you can't do it for him. What you can do is refuse to accept responsibility for a situation you did not create.

If he refuses to do anything about the problem, then you are faced with the option of accepting a sexless relationship or moving on. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's real. It's time for you and him to have this conversation.

The 3rd possibility...he's not attracted to you for whatever reason.
The 4th...you have different sexual appetites.

Sexual compatibility is very important in making a relationship work.

You are not getting your needs met. If you can't accept that, then you need to take some kind of action.

As long as you remain in the relationship and keep hoping he will change, you won't be available for someone who can give you the love you need and deserve.

There is something wrong and the replies above are certainly correct.

You need to sit down and discuss this and resolve it with the two of you or go get counseling.

Two years and no sex? No hands, no mouth, no anything? My possible problems viewed:
1) Micro Penis (serious problem for some guys)
2) He is a manly woman
3) Mental issues: Maybe he was molested when he was younger
4) 40-year old virgin syndrome where he just gets scared
5) ED
6) He's gay
7) He's not attracted to you

No matter what the problem is the solution is the same:
COMMUNICATION. Find out why this is happening. You're not a mind reader. What's the point of a relationship if you can't communicate?

That being said... best of luck to you two :)

It can be scary to talk about this stuff with someone you care about. To take away that stress, find an activity that you both enjoy. After a while change subject and ask the questions.

As a secondary plan, and this is just my opinion, if he won't listen to you no matter what then lay down some rules. Tell him you need an intimate relationship or you will leave him. Now, thats pretty harsh but it can push a man to action, which is what you want. :)