a troubling thought

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

I have been with my gf about a year now and everything has been going fine. Even before we were dating she had spoken of a desire to have a threesome with another woman or man. At the time, I thought thought little about it, but she recently brought it up again. She wants to try it both...with another woman, and another man. But she asks only that the other man or woman are people I know well. That is not an unfair request, so I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is seeing her with her mouth around another man's penis, for example. She has told me that it would be solely for fun, just to try it out, and that I shouldn't worry about her leaving me for another guy because she loves me. I can only think of one guy, a friend of mine who I've known for many years, and he said he was into it. My point is...I don't want to be one of those guys who immediately dismisses the idea of being in bed with another man, having his way with my gf. I want to share that experience with her. I'm not a jealous man, and it would be with a friend who I trust entirely, but I can't seem to find anything but anger with the images that come to my mind about her being with my friend, sexually. Am I overreacting or thinking to hard? How should I approach this? Any advice would be wonderful.

Thank you,

Wade

Replies(4)

Xero

Re: a troubling thought

2 years ago

You are doing nothing wrong.

It's good to be concerned about this. You both have to be secure about it before you do anything at all.

I suggest you both talk about what you want and how you want things. Such as rules as your not allowed to kiss the other person ect. ect. Things like this can break a relationship really easily. I suggest you both talk about things before you do this, and immediately between you two after the experience if you decide to go through with it. Don't go through with it unless you are both sure things will be OK.

I'm not too sure how you should approach this with your friend but if you want more in depth information about this part i can help you. (may not get back to you until tomorrow but I will help you)

nova_danj..

Re: a troubling thought

2 years ago

There really is only one way to approach this type of situation: Communication. I don't mean just with your gf. I'm talking about communicating with the third man/woman as well. Setting some ground rules prevent any kind of potential problems that may arise later. However, there is no reason why you should feel forced to do something that you're having doubts about. Sex is not going to be enjoyable if neither of you (or in this case, all three of you) are comfortable with each other.

slittylic..

Re: a troubling thought

2 years ago

I myself would never want to do this.
To each his own.
I would only do it with a woman who I wasn't in a relationship with.

rdq11_dan..

Maybe It's Just Me!

2 years ago

As I am reading this I am in aaww about it. Sounds to me that you really love this girl for even entertaining this idea from her. I don't mean to judge other people that may read this but in my current relationship I couldn't picture my girlfriend on bed with another man or woman with or without me. I actually think it would make matters worse for it to be a well known friend of yours. You said it yourself if you do this this is going to leave mental images in your mind for the rest of your life. What if you don't like it or you find yourself uncomfortable and decide this isn't something for you. You are going to be left with those images. If it were me I would decline the idea and buy toys! Good luck!