Affair or divorce? Divorce would mean less time spent with my child which is most important to me.

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 3 years ago

I have been married for 10 years. The past few years have been pretty much sexless. I would say once a month, and that is like pulling teeth. I have told her several times that things have to change. I have needs and am very unhappy with this situation. The problem is that if i get a divorce it will reduce the time i spend with my daughter. She is very attached to me because I watch her during the day while my wife works. I work at night while my daughter is sleeping. I have woman hitting on me all the time so i do not think it would be hard to have an affair. My wife thinks the amount of sex we have is fine, and makes no effort to satisfy my needs. After talking to her about this several times with no solution i see no other option than to have an affair. Other than the lack of sex the relationship is ok. I just can't see my daughter losing time with her father because of a divorce.

Replies(1)

k. in cle..

I choose option C

3 years ago

You give two Options, A Affair, and B Divorce. I choose C Laying it all out and talking.
I can understand your frustration. Humans are sexual beings. You have needs that aren't being met and you're at your wit's end.
Divorce can be very ugly though. As you said you wouldn't see your daughter as much, plus the division of property and money and all that yucky stuff...
But affairs can also be ugly.. or even lead to divorce. You might catch something, you might get caught, you might get away with it... it all depends.
That's why I suggest telling your wife how you feel. Don't just tell her you want more sex. Tell her you love her and your daughter. Let her know you want to remain a happy family. But you have to tell her plainly that you need to have an active sex life. You can eve ask her if she'd rather you go out and get it somewhere else. That actually is a possibility that she may be OK with (it might be rare, but I do know a couple that way). Tell her you love her and you crave her sexually. You can also ask her if there's anything she'd like you to do differently or something new to try for her. Don't forget, sex is a 2-way street. You can't be the only one expecting pleasure out of the deal, you need to ensure she's enjoying it too.
There's plenty of tips throughout this site to help you with that if you need it.

I hope this helps.

Keep us posted.