Ask Dan & Jennifer

I still don't get why she is mad at you, She should be overjoyed but she has the right to be upset with you.

Anyway, you could buy her some flowers and take her out to eat. You could also make something she likes if your able to cook.

Keep the flowers idea eat and go some where special, like maybe your first kiss or something. I think anything special from the past would be good, and flowers girls just love those.:cool:

What I was going to say was along the same lines as what Xero had already said. But of course this is IF she really is coming to see you like she said she would. Let's say she is coming to see you when she said she would. Surprise her! Take what Xero said and do something creative to make a romantic day/evening out of it. She can only stay mad at you for so long and if she has got any decency at all, she will see what you have done for her and finally let go of all this.

I don't think she is overly mad. She has "trust issues" and was very scared to be in a relationship in the first place. It has taken her a long time for her to trust me fully, so now its like we need to start all over again. She is thankful that I am being honest with her and talking about everything, so thats a plus.

I wrote her a formal letter to give to her when she arrives. I am going to light some candles and invite her to sit in bed while I read it to her. We are going to go to the grocery store and make pizza together. I get off work right before she comes, so no time to cook myself, or I would surprise her with a romantic dinner and present my letter to her then.

Very nice plan, tell us how it goes.

One thing that has worked for me is "I'm sorry I upset you." That way, you're showing concern for her feelings but not dwelling on the incident she's upset about. That may help her start focusing on how she feels about you instead of just that one incident.

I still think she's overreacting to this. I would be overjoyed if I were in here shoes.

My girlfriend just stayed here for the past few days. There were some ups and downs, but for the most part it was very good. We did some fun things like cook together, go shopping, go walking, go to the amusement park and go biking. Overall, it was a very fun weekend.

She told me that she thought our relationship was perfect, emphasis on WAS. I told her that we can make it "perfect" again. It took her a long time to trust me, so she feels like I have betrayed her trust. She was very happy that I had told her, and we had some very good conversations. We are very open with each other about issues, so thats good. She is very very sensitive to everything and is very emotionally sensitive as well, so when she goes through a hard time, everything is just magnified and she has a hard time separating herself from the situation, analyzing it and then making a (what i would term) reasonable decision. She, of course has begun to doubt all of my actions, which I think is unfair. It just seems like telling the truth would be easier. I think she is having a hard time separating ME, from the ONE lie that I have told her. I know our actions partly make us who we are, but if you add up all the good in our relationship and weigh it with the bad, to me it seems as if the good outweighs the bad a trillion times to one.

I am the type of person who jumps into something and is not cautious about being hurt. I view almost everything as a learning experience. Pain and hardship can only make you stronger and wiser. Relationships are very hard, and sometime there will be very very hard times and turmoil, but eventually, in my opinion, all that hardship pays off. I am not afraid of struggle for such a large reward. However, my girlfriend was so scared of being hurt in our relationship, because she would rather not get hurt, than be truly happy, in my opinion. She had the fear of being hurt at the beginning, and I hurt her deeply, now she is scared that I will hurt her again. The truth is, I will hurt her again. I can and I will try my best not to, but that's the nature of a relationship, it will happen again.

Albeit, she is scared to be lied to again, so I need to prove to her that I will not lie to her about something that was so important to her. We thought we would be together forever, but I suppose everyone thinks that. I want her to think that still, but she is beginning to doubt that. I want her to realize that it was ONE thing that I did and I told her to be honest with her.

We are still very together, it will just take a bit of time for things to get back to normal. She is working on trusting me again and figuring out if she wants to be in a relationship. She thinks we might have gone too fast and she is scared to be hurt. I am trying to give her space to think, yet always being available to talk about our problems, in addition, I am trying to show her that I can be trusted, and that i can be that "perfect" man that she envisioned for herself. It really sucks when your girlfriend thinks you are the best guy in the world for her and then you disappoint her, and hurt her by showing her a side of you that you don't want her to see.

How can I prove all of this to her? Does it just take time?

Paul: There has got to be more to this story. Her response is so disproportionate to the event. Is it possible she was already having second thoughts about the relationship and this is an excuse?

If this should turn out to be the only problem, which I doubt, I think it's time to back off. I think it's time to stop apologizing and groveling. You've done all you can do right now. I would just start acting like everything is normal and see how she responds.

If a girl told me that she had mislead me into thinking she wasn't a virgin, I would think, "Aw, isn't that cute." I would be glad that she thought enough of what I thought of her to be concerned. Either there is more to the situation, possibly more than you know about, or she is totally overreacting.

I completely agree with Beagle, something is wrong here because she should not be throwing a fit about such a small and meaningless thing.

Everyone lies, I lie to my girlfriend here and there. Am I proud of it, no but she can tell. Their not Total lies, just little white lies like if I know she is having a good day and I'm in a bad mood I'll lie to her and say I'm doing fine, to not bring her down and feel bad for me.

I think what you did was a little white lie to give your self a chance in something. She should totally understand. I mean it's not like you cheated on her and finally told her. She has the right to be upset and mad, but being the first person, and feeling nervous and lieing about but then later saying it was a lie should be completely fine.

I understand how she can be very touchy on subjects and emotions, and things you don't want to expose her to. If she really breaks up with you on this, no offense but she would not be worth it.

If your able to talk to her about my examples or come up with another one to give her I would recommend doing that to show it's not really as bad as it seems and it's not worth throwing away what you have.

Thanks, I understand what you mean. I guess its hard to comprehend the situation when you are not there, but I appreciate the outside, third party input. I know we wont break up because of this, its just a little bump in the road. She tends to speak in either, or language and not flexible language, so its hard to remove myself from that an accurately explain the situation.

Something definitely doesn't add up here. I'm thinking her "anger" over this incident is a cover up to something else. Let me ask you this. Has SHE ever lied to you or done something that got you pissed off? I know there's gotta be something, whether it was intentional or not, prior to her acting this way. Oh and if there was such an incident, how did you respond to it?

She has lied a few times that I can remember. One time she told me she was somewhere that she was not and she got very drunk, and I had to take care of her, vomiting and all while sorting out the whole incident. Of course i can think of some others, but nothing major. I don't want to go into great detail, but she does make me angry, but only on rare occasion. I am always very very calm and patient with her, and she even acknowledges that and thanks me for it. I like to talk things out and communicate with her. I tend to be very calm, whereas she is very quick to anger or get flustered with most situations that don't go according to HER plans, but she is WAY better than we first started our relationship. She is very passionate about everything she does, so I tend to think of her anger more as passion, if that makes sense. She is stubborn and proud, but she is much more flexible, much more calm, and she even apologizes when she is wrong. I don't think there she is covering anything up, at least not consciously, but let me know what you think.