Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

in Sex and Intimacy » Sex Tips and Advice • 3 years ago

Dan here. Sorry, this post is just a little rant-y.

While this sounds funny at first, it's a serious question. Check out this youtube video we posted on YouTube this morning.

Watching My Wife Get Banged By A Well Endowed Man...

The early comments on this YouTube video were downright scary! It's amazing how many men live in secret fear that their woman will leave them the moment she finds a larger penis!

Ladies and gentlemen, don't laugh, this is a serious issue. In fact, I had to coin a new word today for this bizarre condition...

Peniphobia - the irrational, baseless fear that your wife / girlfriend will leave you for another man with a larger penis, regardless of whether or not you have a great love and sex life, and in spite of the commonly known fact that the penis is only one of the MANY ways to sexually stimulate your female partner.

* The common misconception among men that the penis is THE way to stimulate a female sexually is one of the prime reasons such a high percentage of adult women have never even experienced an orgasm, and why so many actually fake orgasms. Seriously, has anyone ever heard of a man faking an orgasm?

Sadly the Urban Dictionary informs me that someone has previously coined this term, i.e. "Peniphobia occurs when one is afraid of penises." But frankly, I like my definition better since it applies to such a large segment of the population, so we're commandeering it. Onward!

Possible early onset symptoms of peniphobia...

you find yourself checking out other men's penises regularly to spot potential danger!
you practice a daily penis strength training regimen with dumbbells.
you find yourself lashing out with belligerent attacks when someone even mentions the idea of having sex with multiple partners, especially the idea of another man. Note however that additional women are always hot. LOL
"Now his wife will start to think less of him - eventually - and go for the Pete North sized guy! It is a bad decision to get shown up in the bedroom."
-- a YouTube viewer
"Sorry to say, only a degenerate/coward would willingly give his wife away (fantasies are one thing, but actually doing it?). no, it's NOT "normal", it's pathetic... "
-- another YouTube viewer
"i agree its pathetic ..marriage vows are replaced by adultery ..like your a pimp and your wife is your ho .. whack job for hire"
-- another YouTube viewer

Potential causes of peniphobia:

low self esteem
lackluster or non-existent sex life
deep jealousy issues (see item 1 re: self esteem)
living under the extremely common misconception that the male penis is THE only way to sexually stimulate your female partner. Granted many women (especially those who have never even experienced an orgasm) may also believe that "bigger is better".

In truth, having a "good size and shape match" between the penis and the vagina is ideal. A penis substantially larger than the "normal" shape of the particular woman's vagina will be just as bad or worse than a substantially smaller penis.

Seriously, please leave a comment with your thoughts below.

Then visit the youtube video page here and leave an intelligent comment - it's sorely needed. LOL

Disclaimer: This post is not intended in any way to constitute medical or psychological advice or guidance in any way. If you believe you may be suffering from peniphobia please take some self esteem courses and buy your wife some flowers and chocolates (and chocolate flavored condoms) immediately.

In all seriousness - anytime a couple brings another person (or couple) into their sex life, that is a very serious decision that should be well thought through and considered carefully. There's really no "putting the genie back in the bottle". Sure the particular activities can be discontinued, but the experiences will still be there.

Also if you have any jealousy issues then this is not for you, until you know for certain that you've resolved your jealousy issues and have complete trust and openness in your relationship.

But the fact remains that many couples enjoy sharing their sex lives with others (men, women, couples) and it works for them. In those cases there is absolutely nothing wrong with what they are doing - it's simply a question of whether or not it works in the given situation for the couples and/or singles in question.

Dan

Replies(12)

the_beaut..

cuckolding

3 years ago

Nothing wrong with a little cuckolding! And it's an enlightened person who experiences compersion, which is the opposite of jealousy. Compersion is feeling joy from watching or knowing your partner is enjoying the company or attention of another person.

wolfhowl_..

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

I have always lived by "It's the skill of the Swordsman, not the size of the sword" when it comes to size.

Now about the man enjoying watching his wife getting it on with another man, it happens. If all 3 are happy, then that's all that matters.

People have to get over the concept of "Normal", because it doesn't exist, there is just what feels right to the person.

For Me, thinking a woman who is smoking a cigar makes her much hotter then without it, but to others it detracts from her buitey. I know one guy who would give a woman wearing cat ears and a tail much more attention then the same woman without them. To him, that normal.

Normal is what society keeps telling us is right and proper, but it's a myth we should try and forget.

Wolfie

rachael559

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

So I'm trying to bring together some logical thought here. First, the fear ( like many ) is somewhat irrational because it bases the sum total of the relationship on the skill of the male in bed. Women have sooooo many reasons for wanting to be with a man ( or a partner in general ) that have nothing to do with his penis size. If I were to make a list I would say: humor, security, intelligence, passion ( outside the bedroom ), and passion inside the bedroom which has nothing to do with size. I DO have friends who are all about the size, and to me looking at them it seems almost fetishistic. I will say that the one male I've found attractive and am still completely taken with is by his wife's statements rather well-endowed. BUT that isn't why I find him attractive. Physically he is beautiful to look at, he is tall and he makes me feel safe and both comfortable and comforted when I am with him. He has a wonderful smile and wicked sense of humor, and a terribly sharp intellect which challenges my own. I find myself just sitting listening to him talk to others just to learn what he thinks, even if I don't agree. He makes me smile. I am head-over-heels fallen for this man and I will tell you now the most he has ever done is kiss my hand. He is a gentleman and believes in treating people with respect and dignity. I have yet to be in his bed, it may or may not happen. If someone else with similar values, similar looks, and similar attitudes and actions came along I would probably find them attractive too, regardless of their penis size.

I think that if she ( the wife in the video quesion ) isn't finding sexual satisfaction from penile stimulation, and he isn't of a size to give her that satisfaction, and she looks for an additional person to help satisfy that desire and he can feel compersion I am overjoyed to hear that. It is a truly enlightened attitude. I don't think one single person can satisfy every need and want any of us feels. I think for the man who seeks this out he needs to communicate and so does his partner. I think he should feel very secure that he is meeting all of her other needs and strengthening that bond with his SO. AND there are many many MANY other ways to find sexual satisfaction than just penile penetration, there are toys, there is oral-genital stimulation, there is digital stimulation, there is fisting which when done slowly and gently can bring many women intense pleasure, there is just a long long list of things one can do aside from penile-vaginal penetration, and I think it's dangerous to sum up everything that a relationship is and can be, on the length or girth of a a man's penis. Okay I've rambled enough. By the way I LOVE the word compersion, I just think it is such an incredible idea, a true expression and extension of one's love for someone else!!!

Hugs,
Rachael

ps I did say something about there has to be huge amounts of open and honest communication right? I did work in that one has to talk and actively share what one is feeling and what one hopes for sharing in this way right? I hope somewhere in there I also said that fear of losing one's SO to a larger penis is not a useful fear to have I hope.

snakebabe

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

The question stated is
“Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis?”.
I can easily answer this - No.
There is no way in the world I would leave my husband and he knows that. Not for money, not for sex not for anything. Marriage is more than just sex, it’s a commitment. As a wife it is my duty to make sure he feels secure. And I do. So the answer is no, all men do not fear that.
But, assuming the reason this is asked is not the size but the idea that bigger means more sexual pleasure. Well, I am not that shallow of a woman that I would leave my partner of 17 years for nothing more than sex.
If that is all it takes to make a woman leave then do you really want her to stay?
It would make me think the relationship is built on sex only. That can be a very empty relationship. Fun for a while but definitely not what you’re looking for in a long term relationship.

My second thought is a bit more n the Cuckold / Dom side.
Some guys want to be talked to as if his woman is going to leave him.
I have often been asked to talk like that to men that like to be dominated.
“Your cock is so small compared to this I should just leave your sorry little dick”
“Sit over there and watch what a real man with a real cock can do you pathetic little worm”

Sometimes that is what the guy wants to hear.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

quitex

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Oh dear, “Are all men secretly afraid of losing their MEN to a larger penis?”. NO!
*orders ideas*
Ok, let me start saying that the "penis" is just another part of the body - and a very important one for sure - but it is just another part of the body. Let me re-do the question, "Are all woman afraid to lose their man to a larger 'boob'?" Not the case either!

In my personal opinion *coughs* not experience * coughs*, a big penis is just a 'plus', but it should not affect directly to your decision to either stay or leave someone. I prefer to be with a loving, caring guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or does drugs (I know, not even in heaven) that may have a "small" or "average" penis than with a bitch from hell with a baseball-bat as penis. At the end, the *really* big ones can end being extremely uncomfortable and may even hurt more than the pleasure that they may give.

.....but If I happen to find a loving caring guy with a big one, Oh dear, not letting you go :D :p

What really matters, or should matter, in a long term relationship is what comes from within. If you are looking for a big penis, or a big butt, or a big cup size, or a big deep vagina (wait, do they like them tight?) or whatever else you may be looking for, instead of the true personality, habits and doings of the other person, then you should re-order your priorities.

To the dude that asked the question: It is not entirely normal to feel that way. It is a matter of inner confidence and Trust. Do you love yourself enough to let yourself love someone else?

snakebabe

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Great post jeanintro

Originally posted by: jeanintro*quitex
…..
In my personal opinion *coughs* not experience * coughs*, a big penis is just a 'plus',

Not to me.
And this is another reason why the age old question of “is bigger better?”
Women do not all agree.
I prefer an average cock. If I am doing a photo shoot then yes, a big one is great to look at but I have a hard time going down in it and often choke. Also, when I have intercourse with a huge guy it hurts. :eek: So each woman has her own preferences so there really is no ONE answer for this.

Originally posted by: jeanintro*quitex
…. At the end, the *really* big ones can end being extremely uncomfortable and may even hurt more than the pleasure that they may give.

That about sums me up

Originally posted by: jeanintro*quitex
…..
. I prefer to be with a loving, caring guy that doesn't drink, smoke, or does drugs (I know, not even in heaven)

I have one of those guys. Drug, cigarette and alcohol free husband. With one extra, he hates sports! :D Ya, I'm bragging :D
I am so in love.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

cocky_dan..

A lot are!

3 years ago

My comment on YT:

"...

These comments left me incredibly sad. How is an 'old fashioned' threesome any different than what this couple is doing? And what do you mean by "giving his wife away to another man?" You guys make it sound like he covered her in a burlap sack and just shoved her onto this other man. You guys make it sound like his wife is his property.

His wife should worry about him being bisexual? Come again?

You people perplex me.

If the three of them enjoy it, then it doesn't matter.

You don't call a female a closet lesbian if she likes to have threesomes with other women. Why should it be any different for a man?

Some of you (presumably) male viewers are the insecure men Jenn is talking about here. You all say that "you can't put the genie back in the bottle" and that his wife will leave him for a bigger guy.

Excuse me, but didn't she marry this man? I assumed that was for love and not his dong!"

Normal is bogus, boring and out of date. I have no idea where that concept came from, but it's probably the biggest blight of society. You see the cliche of some guy in a trench coat walking to a seedy sex store because "normal, upstanding" citizens don't do those things. Normal people aren't gay. They don't dress in women's clothing. Normal people are god-fearing, straight laced 9-5 workers and stay at home moms.

Those people on YT calling him subversive and pathetic are the reason this poor guy asked that question. He's made to feel bad just because he wants to make his wife feel good, and get a good feeling in return. I think it's ridiculous that some people assumed he is as insecure as they are.

I think everybody is pressured to be "normal" and fit this perfect model of what a man/woman is to be. Somehow, men get it into their heads that they have to have the perfect job, money, car, big house, be a god in bed, perfect personality (confident but not too cocky, gentle but only enough so he won't be called gay), etc.

To me, those insecure men worry that their girlfriend will leave them for a guy with more than they have. I think a guy with a bigger penis hits the hardest. I guess because it's something that can't be controlled. Why do we see tons of commercials about erectile dysfunction when so many men are dying of prostate cancer? But really, it's probably because people say that the size of a guy's penis is a sign of how much of a man he is.

Women go through the same thing. In our case I think it's more of a look thing. Like, he'll leave me for a younger woman or someone who doesn't nag as much.

Someone, let's say TV because it seems to have replaced parents, told us that if you don't do "A", then "B" will happen. If you don't get that promotion, then your wife will leave you for the next Joe Schmoe. If you don't get it going in the bedroom, then she's going to get it somewhere else. If you don't get that facelift or those breast implants, then you're husband is taking the next plane to Cali to get a Barbie doll.

We're bombarded with these images on a daily basis. We start to believe them. We act on them, and they become true.

So, based on the guys I've dated or had sexual relations with, they are afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis. Personally, I don't prefer them. They hurt if you don't use them correctly.

~lavinder11

quitex

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Originally posted by: SnakeBabe
I have one of those guys. Drug, cigarette and alcohol free husband. With one extra, he hates sports! :D Ya, I'm bragging :D
I am so in love.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

Thanks hun. And crap, I'd so be going for your hubby, but he is probably very happy with you and.... too old for me.
You happen to have a 15-20ish son? :D
just kidding :)

snakebabe

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Thanks.
You can’t have him to keep but feel free to borrow him anytime you like.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

quitex

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Originally posted by: SnakeBabe
Thanks.
You can’t have him to keep but feel free to borrow him anytime you like.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

Weeeeee!!!
Hugs back! :)

lee_danje..

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Originally posted by: Wolfhowl
I have always lived by "It's the skill of the Swordsman, not the size of the sword" when it comes to size.

This is the best quote about penis size I've ever seen (or at least from what I can remember!)

And I wonder why nobody talks about the size, dexterity and stamina of a man's TONGUE...lol

But about the Youtube comments...

What I think it boils down to is some people cannot accept others who are different. In general, we fear things that are different than us, and often times we'll say not-so-nice things.

The paradigm of a 'normal' sex life for the person asking the question in the video is different...and people who can't get out of their own paradigms will see that this is wrong.

Ironically, I believe a lack of tolerance & acceptance for others who are different is wrong.

rachael559

Re: Are all men secretly afraid of losing their woman to a larger penis? (Watch video, then Comment!)

3 years ago

Lee, it's a good question why more people don't talk about it [tongue size], but I think it IS talked about, albeit in a joking way. I think one of the impressions that people were given way back when the group KISS was so popular was that Gene Simmons tongue was extremely long and that was the attraction for many women to him. Another pop reference that came to mind was "Earth Girls are Easy" in which Jim Carrey's character has an inhumanely long tongue and very many girls/women suddenly want to take him home for the night. But there is still in our culture a minor amount of stigma attached to Oral-Genital pleasure versus penile-vaginal penetration, I suspect largely due to conservative religious attitudes that view anything less than sex for procreation and only procreation as being somehow inherently wrong. But I do see tongue sized mentioned now and then, certainly not nearly as often as penis size. What I find fascinating is that there should be a statistical correlation between increasing penis size and decreasing stiffness to erections achieved, yet there is still this perception that the longer the penis the greater the satisfaction....

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