Ask Dan & Jennifer

Hi kianoosh,

Right to ask her out...
You need to invite her to do something with you, the more appealing/fun you think she'll find it the more chance you have of her agreeing to do it (could just be spending the weekend with you). Asking her out is as simple as that.

Getting a kiss with her...
After getting her to meet up with you, get both of you drunk, you are both certainly not adverse to the idea because you are both clubbers so its probably safe to assume it'll be easy to get her drinking until drunk, then get dancing & put the moves on her, the scene will help you & her both feel comfortable and should help you get a decent kiss easier.

Getting a relationship with her...
If shes staying over at your place already excellent (Since you live long distance I think this is the only way), now if you got a kiss earlier your relationship will be sex love & sleeping in the same bed tonight, otherwise it'll be none of that, friendship & her sleeping on the floor.

Dan & Jen do not recommend long distance relationships (see their video on it).
But if you a tired of the trash you've been taking home lately and this girl is a little extra special something I say go for it.

If you haven't been taking other home lately (sorry I don't know what you've been upto) perhaps you should concentrate on local girls, because after you have had 10 local girls how important do you really think this one will be?.

Originally posted by: Saishuu
Hi kianoosh,

Right to ask her out...
You need to invite her to do something with you, the more appealing/fun you think she'll find it the more chance you have of her agreeing to do it (could just be spending the weekend with you). Asking her out is as simple as that.

Absolutely, great ideas. Have a lot of fun together - people love to have fun, to laugh, etc. And they want to be around people who make them feel happy. That's a very important thing to remember.

Originally posted by: Saishuu
Getting a kiss with her...
After getting her to meet up with you, get both of you drunk, you are both certainly not adverse to the idea because you are both clubbers so its probably safe to assume it'll be easy to get her drinking until drunk, then get dancing & put the moves on her, the scene will help you & her both feel comfortable and should help you get a decent kiss easier.

Guys, planning to get a girl drunk to make here want to kiss you or have sex is NOT encouraged, for many different reasons. For one, it's dishonest, and a relationship founded on dishonesty is unlikely to go anywhere past the first initial steps. Also there's the possibility of rape charges later on, etc. Even if you only intended for a kiss, alcohol messes with your head and seriously impacts your judgment, and you don't know what will actually happen. Your best bet is to keep it straight and honest.

Spending time together, flirting, etc. - that's good stuff. Look at it this way. If the attraction and chemistry is possible, then by being around one another it will only increase. The point here is don't try to force something to happen that isn't natural, follow the natural course of things and see where it leads.

Originally posted by: Saishuu
Dan & Jen do not recommend long distance relationships (see their video on it). But if you are tired of the trash you've been taking home lately and this girl is a little extra special something I say go for it.

If you haven't been taking other home lately (sorry I don't know what you've been upto) perhaps you should concentrate on local girls, because after you have had 10 local girls how important do you really think this one will be?.

Sure, you never know where you'll meet the "right" person, and you may meet more than one "right" person.

But starting a relationship with someone that lives a couple of hours away has potential costs later on - seeing each other will be difficult unless you move close together, and you will live in a constant state of loneliness for the person that's just slightly out of regular daily range.

Here's a video on this topic...

Long Distance Relationship - Can I Trust Her?

So we definitely encourage you to keep your options open in your local area. Not saying you should ignore this girl by any means, but leave your local options as well - unless this relationship really takes off.

Guys, planning to get a girl drunk to make here want to kiss you or have sex is NOT encouraged for many different reasons

Don't get me wrong I don't advocate this mindset of getting a girl so completely ****ing wasted thats she doesn't know she is either here nor there, so you can have your wicked way with her (although I blame the girl in this case, there is reason for the age limit on drinking, your supposed to be being responsible!).

But to some guys shagging a girl at the end of the night is the whole point of going on a date (and its the same for alot of girls).

Its like a computer game, you play it to beat the end boss (get a shag), you enjoy the process of working your way through the levels (going on a date), and retrying when you die (going on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th dates).

And then when you've completed it you can decide whether its worth playing again.
& much like a computer games responsibility of being enjoyable for you to play, a girl has the responsibility of being enjoyable for you to take on a date.

Also the way a computer game makes sure you do everything in the right way to get through the levels, a girl makes sure you do everything she want to let you take her home.

& sometimes things get a little dull (dates/flirting levels/unlocking) & you just want to beat the end boss (pound her) and say you've finished it. Then you'll probably never want to do it again because it was too frustrating to do the first time!

And yes this game is reasonably non-linear, but if you take the route which leads you to the level with the fire flower (alcohol) & there is no dis-advantage to using it to complete the level & get to the end boss, then that is all good, you'd be a fool not to use it.

However if you know you are better at the pub level than than the cinema level or the (god forbid) library level... then you should pick the level you think you will find easiest to reach the goal, beating the end boss, beware though some games are harder to complete by taking different routes, and some even adjust the difficulty depending on how well your doing! (homeworld2/girl with a anti-player holofield).

So what I do advocated is taking a girl to somewhere where you are both comfortable (picking the level your good at and turning down the difficulty) if you want to do her (get to the end boss).

Now I know I'm more comfortable flirting with a girl in a pub while getting drunk/trying to get drunk (notice I didn't say being drunk), Like I'm more comfortable randomly putting my arm around my date at the cinema than I am randomly putting my arm around my date while on the computers at my local library.

And I'm sure there are lots of girls out there who feel more comfortable in these settings too.

So as for the morals of these situations if you are taking the girl to the library because that is where she is most comfortable and that is therefore the easiest difficulty setting to make her want to kiss you or have sex with you but you are having NO FUN you should really ask yourself why you are playing this game & you should trade her in for a better one! (you should both enjoy the process from start to finish, beating the end boss isn't everything if she is dull to be around the rest of the time)!

For one, it's dishonest, and a relationship founded on dishonesty is unlikely to go anywhere past the first initial steps.

There is nothing dishonest with taking a girl out on a date to a place she is comfortable with the sole intention of shagging her.

However yes if you put Benzodiazepines in a girls soda when you go to the pub (or the library for that matter) that is dishonest. If you buy a girl another drink at the bar (a clean drink) or even buy her WHAT she asks for your not being dishonest, she is being stupid for asking/accepting (and there was a point that night when she was sober enough to say no!).

Also there's the possibility of rape charges

However youngins this is sadly true,

There are lots of stupid women out there (not all women though) who believe they can hit you but you cant hit them, make you do all the heavy lifting at work but they expect equal pay, its your fault they cheated on you... it your fault they got so drunk they couldn't walk & then they had sex with you...

and unfortunately after going home & being pressured by their mom/dad/boyfriend/husband/friends about something that they were quite happy about when they woke up sober that morning (anyone see a similarity to forcing a confession through torture here?) they can call up there lawyer and hit you with rape charges! WTF!

So guys, stay safe & use caution, please.

mind you... you even get rape charges alot whenever they cheat on their boyfriends and they were completely sober.

Best thing to do is just stick to girls with no familys and dead girls.

SORTED:D

uhmm thnx alot to danandjennifer and saushu( srry if i spelled it wrong)
k i think the best thing is to take her out and spend more time with and obvisouly dats how we start to knoe each other. but there is another problem dat i have with girls which is the topic. most of the times i run out of topics. i dont koe what should i talk about it. cuz i dont want her to be bored when she is with me. so if u can help me with dat thta will be great ( like tellin me couple of topics so i can talk to her about). and another thing is sending her gifts. i was thinkin of sending her gifts but it kinda feels creepy cuz i have never been in her place and i ask for address or ask someone else for her address dats kinda creepy so if u tell me should or i shouldnt do it, dat will be great

now problems of ur reply
1- i can make her tipsy or drunk if i am with her like outside or somewher around ehr area but cant make ehr drunk in da club since i am 19( legal age for drinking) and she is 17 and we meet eachother in da allages clubs
2- i live with my parents in a small house and i dont think it is fine for her to sleep in my place since she is only 17
3- i am not thinking of having sex rite now. honestly i like her and i will do her if she wants to. so gettin intoher pants happens only if she wants and i am not thinkin about it for now. the only think i am thinkin is to just get her.
4- honestly i dont care about the price or money i just want her to have fun and make her my gf so i am fine if i spend 100 $ and more with her only in 1 night


and another think, do u think the girl cares about ur parents or r u rich or not or if u live ina huge house or no?
cuz i am so worried about dat and i do care about it so plz reply it back
i say it again thnxxxx alot for replying:)

Tips for being an engaging conversationalist with anyone.

1)The number one topic people love to talk about is themselves. Talk about her, ask questions about her, get her talking, for some reason this makes people think your interesting.
2)People don't like to listen, full stop, they like to talk! So just keep her talking, for subjects just talk about whatever SHE wants to talk about.
3)If you need to start a conversation, talk about something you like to talk about! Your specialist subjects, things you are passionate about! Talk about computer games, porn, music, cartoons or whatever your interested in, give your opinions.
4)Never complain about anything. EVER, the most boring thing is to be complained to, and if you have a negative opinion about anything just keep your mouth shut!
5)Arguing is OK. If she complains or moans about someone. e.g. her friend sleeps around with so many guys, she shouldn't do that, she is such a tart... you should respond "maby thats what she wants to do, shes not hurting anyone is she? I see not problem with it".
6)Smile & be happy, this is probably the most important.
7)If there is an awkward silence let it persist, let her say something about it, then you say "I didn't find it awkward" & smile. - See positive comments with no complaining all the time...

Don't buy gifts or drinks for girls. I know I mentioned it earlier but that requires them having bought something for you first (y'know "going rounds"). Spending money doesn't get you any respect and it hurts your wallet. Basically buying friends or girlfriends doesn't work. Don't do it.

Also money doesn't really mean anything either, as long as you can pay your half thats all women are really bothered about (unless they are a golddigger & then you don't want them).

If 17 is under-aged in your area don't do it.
Making her wait is safer for you & she'll desire you more because you don't give in.

thnx alot for replying man
i got it
i am gonna text her 2day and ask what she is doing durin this weekend

Dan or jennifer u guys dont have anything to say?

Originally posted by: kianoosh
thnx alot for replying man
i got it
i am gonna text her 2day and ask what she is doing durin this weekend

Dan or jennifer u guys don't have anything to say?

Nope. I said my peace earlier, nothing further to add. Our purpose for these forums is to make sure everyone's question gets answered, sometimes by multiple people to give multiple perspectives. We have some great experts and community members who help a lot of people every day, and we jump in whenever needed as well, but not all the time.

I will however re-emphasize the point of "consenting adults" - when not sober (i.e. drunk, stoned, or otherwise impaired) you're not technically able to give informed consent, so be very very cautious on that front.

Aside from that, have fun and good luck!

Dan

thnx alot for ur help