Ask Dan & Jennifer

I have the same problem, and I'm relatively the same age as you. I'm 19 and shes 17. I find it to go away if you think of something else. Or you can masturbate before seeing her which may release some of the tension.

I still don't find either of those 100% effective for me.

You young guys drive me crazy. Your body is doing what it's supposed to be doing. You can't stop yourself from getting an erection any more than you can stop your hair from growing. Teen boys have high levels of testosterone and they get an erection when the wind blows. That's perfectly normal.

Are you sure that she doesn't like it or is that something you're just assuming. She may be flattered that she can have that effect on you. If she really is freaked out about it, either she just doesn't know how a man's/boy's body works or she has some sexual hangups.

If you are really self-conscious about it, then I would wear UnderArmour or something similar that applies compression. That should keep it from being too obvious. My inclination is just to be thankful that you're a healthy guy.

You young guys drive me crazy. Your body is doing what it's supposed to be doing. You can't stop yourself from getting an erection any more than you can stop your hair from growing. Teen boys have high levels of testosterone and they get an erection when the wind blows. That's perfectly normal.

Are you sure that she doesn't like it or is that something you're just assuming. She may be flattered that she can have that effect on you. If she really is freaked out about it, either she just doesn't know how a man's/boy's body works or she has some sexual hangups.

If you are really self-conscious about it, then I would wear UnderArmour or something similar that applies compression. That should keep it from being too obvious. My inclination is just to be thankful that you're a healthy guy.

Wow!
you should just be grateful that have erections like a normally-functioning male should. The last thing anyone should have to do is to train to himself to stop having erections(except when you're visiting a nudist area).
You are alive and human...celebrate life and who you are.
If you have to change yourself, to the extreme, to fit someone else, so they will accept you, maybe you need to make some changes. Maybe she is looking for something that isn't realistic.

Originally posted by: Beagle
You young guys drive me crazy. Your body is doing what it's supposed to be doing. You can't stop yourself from getting an erection any more than you can stop your hair from growing. Teen boys have high levels of testosterone and they get an erection when the wind blows. That's perfectly normal.

Are you sure that she doesn't like it or is that something you're just assuming. She may be flattered that she can have that effect on you. If she really is freaked out about it, either she just doesn't know how a man's/boy's body works or she has some sexual hangups.

If you are really self-conscious about it, then I would wear UnderArmour or something similar that applies compression. That should keep it from being too obvious. My inclination is just to be thankful that you're a healthy guy.

Well... It's not that she is afraid of it... It's just that she knows I've had sex but she hasn't and she knows that I would want to if she would. And I guess it's more of me being embarrassed then her not liking it.

Originally posted by: Drew from Idaho
Well... It's not that she is afraid of it... It's just that she knows I've had sex but she hasn't and she knows that I would want to if she would. And I guess it's more of me being embarrassed then her not liking it.

Yep, I completely agree and am in the same situation.

I would never be embarrassed for getting a hard-on as a result of intimate contact, or anything else that will commonly trigger an erection in males. Why should I? At least I know I'm a normal male.
No offense, I would not want to be in a relationship with anybody who expects me not to get hard when I naturally respond to stimulus.
Life is too short...I have a dick, I'm a man, females turn me on, my dick gets hard, period. It's that simple. LOL.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Most women would wonder if you're gay, if you didn't get hard from interraction.

Originally posted by: slittylicker
I would never be embarrassed for getting a hard-on as a result of intimate contact, or anything else that will commonly trigger an erection in males. Why should I? At least I know I'm a normal male.
No offense, I would not want to be in a relationship with anybody who expects me not to get hard when I naturally respond to stimulus.
Life is too short...I have a dick, I'm a man, females turn me on, my dick gets hard, period. It's that simple. LOL.
I wouldn't want it any other way.
Most women would wonder if you're gay, if you didn't get hard from interraction.

I understand what you are getting at, but I don't think you have an accurate idea of what I mean. I don't consider laying down on the couch with my girlfriend watching good eats on the food network to be intimate contact. I do want to thank you all for your help. It hasn't been exactly what I'm looking for, but I do appriciate the attempts.

You're obviously not familiar with pheremones. Those are hormones that are excreted through the skin and we can unconsciously become aroused by someone's smell. When I was a young man, snuggling was more than enough to produce an erection.

I would become aroused by being close, by any kind of touching, by looking at her, by smelling her, by my thoughts, by anticipation, or just by female presence(especially someone I love and I am attracted to).

What I am saying is, I believe in celebrating your sexuality. It is what it is. If that gets you aroused, then so be it. She has options too. She can respond or react any way she wants. That's on her. In no way, would I try to squelch my natural sexual responses to please someone who chooses to be non-sexual.
That's just me. There would no relationship.


The only time I would do that is if it was inappropriate...for example: if the person was under age, or if it was my best friend's wife. Then I might fight it.

Just go with it, it happens (not to me though, cos I'm a girl).

Recently when I spent the night with my boyfriend, I felt him get hard up against my leg, and I know he was asleep. I didn't know whether to laugh out loud or wake him up and ask him who he was thinking about.

But it didn't bother me. I was also a virgin and he wasn't. Maybe she just needs to get used of it happening, when she's around you.

Erection occur intermittently throughout the sleep cycles.

Originally posted by: slittylicker
Erection occur intermittently throughout the sleep cycles.

Exactly. Who knows what he's dreaming about? I, as well as most men, wake up with erections all the time but a lot of times I can't remember what I was dreaming about that would cause it to happen.

Don't worry so much about it. If I were you I'd just tell her whats going on and talk about it together. I'm usually flattered when I can make a guy feel that way. We're usually okay with it as long as you don't force us to do anything we don't want to. Bottom line; you're a healthy boy, you don't have to be embarased, your body is made to act that way. Sit her down and make sure you talk. Explain whats happening and that you can't control it.

Originally posted by: YourEternalRest
Exactly. Who knows what he's dreaming about? I, as well as most men, wake up with erections all the time but a lot of times I can't remember what I was dreaming about that would cause it to happen.

Healthy males wake up with erections. It's completely normal and you don't have to dream before you get one.

Originally posted by: Xero
Healthy males wake up with erections. It's completely normal and you don't have to dream before you get one.

A little therapy history: In the days before modern medical tests, it was hard to determine if a man's erection difficulties were psychological or physical. Some doctors and therapists would have a man fasten a band from a roll of postage stamps around his (non-erect) penis. In the morning, if the band was broken, they knew he had achieved an erection in the night and his problem was deemed to be psychological. The modern meds work whether the cause is mental or physical, so that isn't as important any more. :D I'm a wealth of totally useless information! But, I am in demand for partnering in Trivial Pursuit.

We are young and we cant control what happens. your gonna get a boner ever time you see her it means your happy or she is just that good. my girlfriend and i always lay on the bed together and cuddle, i always find myself getting an erection. its cause her warmth or something just think of wrinkly knees that helps me.

Hi Drew,

I was reading through the advice that people have given you and I just wanted to put in my 2 cents.

I applaud you respecting her decision on waiting on sex, but no need for you to hide or feel embarassed about an erection because your girlfriend isn't ready for sex. Your body will do things you don't want it to do whether its farting unexpectedily or having an erection. From my experience, my boyfriend is always getting an erection from the slighest bump into me or even watching me eat a banana. In his defense...he says he can't help it. Which is true as men think more about sex than woman. That doesn't mean men are perverts, lol.

As far as trying to get rid of the erection, maybe you can masterbate before hanging out with her to help minimize the tension. Thats the only thing I can think of. But in all seriousness..don't be embarassed!

I used to be worried about the same thing, and I was embarrassed that I had one all the time around her. However, over time, I learned not to be embarrassed. Its natural and a sign of good health, you should be proud. I find myself getting erections just thinking of having sex with my girlfriend, let alone just looking at her. I think your girlfriend should be flattered. I used to think that my girlfriend would not like it when I get hard, but she tells me that she thinks it is very very attractive when I do get one. Think of it this way: Men think it is very hot when their wives/ girlfriends get wet for them. The same goes for women, they like it when we get hard. I understand that there are inopportune times to have an erection around your girlfriend, like shopping, at her parents house for dinner, or public places in general, just get your mind to think about something else besides sex. I usual count and I can control it the majority of the time.

It's perfectly normal. Don't fret. Having such reaction to physical interaction with the other sex is very common even with guys who are no longer virgins. Trust me on that. Just don't try to get off everytime you get an interaction with barely cuddling with her or stuff like that.

Its pretty much the same exact way for me. My relationship is... or... was the same exact way. Even when she laid on me, looked at me, hell... even if she breathed on me (doesn't even matter if her breath was bad) I would get an erection. Its just the way it is if you find a girl very attractive. I've always thought my girlfriend is beautiful, and I told her so everytime I saw her.