BF and i Already into BDSM a bit, but how can i tell him i want to be the submissive one?

in Sex and Intimacy » BDSM - Bondage, Domination, Submission • 3 years ago

I have always been into BDSM since i knew what sex was pretty much, (about age 11). My BF and i have been together 2 years now and have an amazing sex life. It wasnt until recentlly, probably about the past 4 or 5 months that we've been getting into BDSM a little. (choking, handcuffing, rough sex) But we havent gotten into Dom/Sub much, and i am big on being a Submissive. (i watch BDSM vids and am really turned on when the guy is dom.) In addition, when we are getting freaky in bed, (or anywhere else in the house, lol). I've been trying to get him to be more dominant over me, which REALLY turns me on. I have told him this, but he hasnt really done much about it, other than calling me his slave/bitch. And handcuffing or such.
I am really wanting to be completely submissive with him, meaning i want to be his sex toy for the most part. Wanting him to use me for sex whenever he wants, wherever he wants as long as it isnt in public. (we are planning a big all day thing for that though). But i want him to be alot more rough with me and treat me more like a slave when we have sex, or are even just messing around. (with all this 'wanting' its making me sound like the Dom!!! But i Assure you, i'm not!!!!!!! :p )
I am just getting a bit frustrated that after me telling him several times to be much more dominant and rough with me, he isnt.
Any suggestions?

Replies(3)

wolfhowl_..

Re: BF and i Already into BDSM a bit, but how can i tell him i want to be the submissive one?

3 years ago

It's most likely that he doesn't really know how you want to be Dommed, in his mind he probably thinks he is giving you want you want. You have to let him know, and can't have any assumetions.

It's time for you both to talk about what BDSM means to each of you, and find out if you are on the same page.

lyjx0228

气动球阀

2 years ago

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Beagle

Re: BF and i Already into BDSM a bit, but how can i tell him i want to be the submissive one?

2 years ago

I agree with WolfHowl. I'm a man and I am well aware of our shortcomings. I suspect this is the classic male-female problem; the woman thinks she has communicated clearly and the man is clueless. He probably doesn't know what you mean by being "Sub." From reading your post, I'm not sure exactly what you want and I'm willing to bet he doesn't either.

Women often miss out on a lot because they think their man should pick up on what they're wanting. Women are generally much more skilled at picking up on hints and nuances than men are. It sounds like he likes your time together, and I'll bet he'll love your ideas. I've been in relationships where the girl was wanting exactly what I was wanting but no one said anything. Don't make that mistake.

Men are very visual creatures. When our minds work, we tend to do it in pictures. To get us to understand, you have to communicate with us that way. You can generally tell if a writer is male or female by the type of imagery they use. My experience is that formulating the question is halfway to the solution. In your time alone, think about "What does my ideal experience look like?" If you communicate with him in those terms, I'll bet you'll really be happy with how he responds. :)