Ask Dan & Jennifer

If he drinks and he's screwed around he'll screw around again. Drinking could be the problem. People who drink get caught drunk driving. they wreck vechicles. They screw around. This is what hapens in bars. Men get drunk and they screw around. It happens all the time. When people go to bars it's because they are bored. It's a shame whem the only thing there is to do is go to bars. Bars should be in your read view mirror by the time you are 25.
People who live in places that have a lot of recreation don't need bars. For instance if you live in the mountains and you can ski, skate, horse back riding, and rid ego karys and ATV, jet ski you won't have a need for bars. For one thing you go out and drink. You've probably spent $100. Kissed goodbye. You can't do a damn thing the next day because you are hung over. You're getting fat and drinking is not good for your health. A couple beers or some wine in the evening is no big deal, but if you drink a gallon of whiskey a week it is a problem. Bars are for losers. Losers looking for losers. I only went to a bar for somehting to do. I seldom got pussy in a bar. Because I didn't know how to talk to women.

Trust is built over time, so there is no quick fix to this. You will probably worry about him being out alone for a very long time, but as time goes on the pain of today will recede. In my opinion, once someone strays you are within your right to move to a "trust, but verify" mode in your relationship. You are both young and in a relatively new relationship, so I suspect you can get past this, but time and constant validation of trust is the only way.

HTH...

I don't see how trust is possible when he's continuing the same behavior that lead to the problem in the first place. You may need to consider the possibility that he is beginning to lose control of his alcohol use. I don't think you can trust him as long as he continues to go to bars without you and drink.

(Is he sorry he kissed the girl, or sorry he got caught?)

It's good that you found out early on. As his behavior could get worse when drunk. You know, too many to drink, too horny to think and all that crap. Show him some tough love as to discipline his drinking habit. There lies the trigger of the problem and staying away from it could save you a lot of headaches, and heartaches too!

iam
seeing it like this
if he told you the first time how did react ?
personally i can forgive a girl that kisses another boy when she is drunk if she tell me but only once !!!

I have to say that you have to trust him because i
can see a relationship whit out trust
and that is not iam only saying i have never "cheated" on my girl friends

But i know how you feel i don´t have to tell more then that

sry for my bad English

(Is he sorry he kissed the girl, or sorry he got caught?)

He didn't get caught, she said he came out and told her what he had done.

As for future incidents...You said he doesn't make mistakes twice. Sorry, but I don't buy that. Especially, as Beagle pointed out, he still participates in the same behavior as before. History is doomed to repeat itself, unless you do something about it. Join him for drinks instead of him going off himself where temptation might linger. Time will also help.

As long as he continues to drink, you can never trust him.

If someone told me, the reason they cheated was because of being drunk, they better not ever drink again.

First let's look at this for what it is: Fact - he kissed a girl while drunk at a party/bar. Fact - he apologized for it later. Fact - you are both new to the college and dating scene.

He obviously felt guilty enough about the incident to tell you about it - which is good. A real asshole would have never said a thing and you would have found out from a friend or a facebook post instead. Give this guy another chance.

The real issue here doesn't seem to be his possible drinking problem. Helloooo, how many times have you been a bit tipsy and looked around the room and thought to yourself, 'gee that guy/girl is hot, why don't I go over there and talk to him/her.' When most people drink (especially young people), our natural mating instinct surfaces and this kind of behavior can overcome any logic that you normally use to keep this stuff under control.

Sigmund Freud wrote many papers on the subconscious mind and how we repress desires and other fantasies because our culture/society/upbringing shuns them. While I'm not making excuses for this guy, I just wanted to put that in perspective. We all tend to drop our guard when we are drinking - to some degree.

I'm just saying that she should give him another chance. Should she worry about him going out without her? Maybe, but the tru test will be if he does it again. One thing that is not mentioned here is whether or not the girl in question started flirting with him or he approached her first. Again, not making excuses for him, but it does take two to dance