Can I trust her?

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2yrs now. In April she started a new job at a hospital as a CNA and some nurse guy asked for her number saying that everyone from her unit hangs out once in a while and he can send her invites too, so she gave her number and told me about it. Since then from May to August they have been texing, talking on his phone once but quite a few calls from work to her phone at odd hours and calls from her phone to work. I saw her phone bill and confronted her about the number and she laid and said it was a girlfriend. I did believe her and called the number and it was a guy. We had a big fight about it and she was very persistent in telling me that it everything was just in a friendly nature. The texs and alot of calls from work have stopped. I don't know if I can or should trust her like I did before because I just don't know if she will do it again. Or what the truth is! What bothered me the most was that she would get of the phone with me and tex him or talk to him (once or twice) and would always reply him back often before replying my texs and this happened alot for a month then died down the months after. How would you handle such a situation? Please advice my mind is going crazy as I second guess her very explanation!

Thanks...

Replies(4)

Xero

Re: Can I trust her?

2 years ago

I would look for any other signs that look like something is wrong.

She seems to have stopped but anything kinda can be possiable. As long as nothing else went wrong from this then I would say things are back to being OK.

I would confront her in a nice manner and ask her how things are going with issue between you two. There needs to be a healing process in this because obviously you are damaged by it, and she is probably as well. I would highly suggest talking about it but in a very soft, concerned, and friendly tone. Anything hostile will just set off more arguments that are unwanted.

slittylic..

Re: Can I trust her?

2 years ago

It sounds like her behavior violated your boundaries. You aren't comfortable with her developing relationships with other males. You both may have different views on this subject. I would let her know how you feel when she does it and I would ask her not to do it if it makes you uncomfortable. I may be wrong but this would make me uncomfortable. Would she be comfortable if you did the same thing?

discreeti

Re: Can I trust her?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Xero
I would look for any other signs that look like something is wrong.

She seems to have stopped but anything kinda can be possiable. As long as nothing else went wrong from this then I would say things are back to being OK.

I would confront her in a nice manner and ask her how things are going with issue between you two. There needs to be a healing process in this because obviously you are damaged by it, and she is probably as well. I would highly suggest talking about it but in a very soft, concerned, and friendly tone. Anything hostile will just set off more arguments that are unwanted.

Thanks for the tip and that is what I did I tried to talk to her nicely and confront her about the details of this. The first few talks she got defensive and blamed it on trust. But with enough talks about it and telling her it is something we need to talk about, things are slowly getting better.

Thanks again.

discreeti

Re: Can I trust her?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: slittylicker
It sounds like her behavior violated your boundaries. You aren't comfortable with her developing relationships with other males. You both may have different views on this subject. I would let her know how you feel when she does it and I would ask her not to do it if it makes you uncomfortable. I may be wrong but this would make me uncomfortable. Would she be comfortable if you did the same thing?

Your right her behavior did violate my boundaries. I don't mind her having new guy friends I told her I just said to her that I would like to be kept in the loop if new guys a trying to be friends with you. Because I am a guy and I know how guys think. And that's exactly what I said to her "would you like it if this was me doing something like this to you?". So thank you for the advise.

Thanks again.