Complicated situation

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 3 years ago

Well first off thanks for everyone that is taking the time to read this I really appreciate it. So here it goes, there is this girl I met thru her now ex boyfriend we have known each other for about 3 weeks, she is a single mother of 2 boys and is just seperated (not divoreced from her ex, my friend was the rebound since the seperation) I have started to develop feelings for her ( I tried to avoid it because she was dating one of my friends, but the heart wants what the heart wants) anyways I hang out with her the odd time (we live in different cities but only like a 45min drive) but recently I was just transfered posts (I am in the army) and now I won't be able to see her very often, I haven't mentioned that I like her in a romantic way but have probed here and there to what she thinks about long distance her words we "I would never do the long distance thing" I made a joking comment about "well I guess there goes my chance since I am moving to my new post" she laughe and said espcially your new post its so far (she txt's me like everyday). Am I screwed here? Do I attempt to ask her out anyways even though I move in 30 days? Is it wrong to date my friends ex? Should I wait until her divorce is final? If I do ask her out what is a good place to take a single (25 yrs) mother when her time is so limited? I have many many more questions as I have never felt this way before and am unsure as to what to do but I shall wait and see how these ones get answered thanks in advance.

cdnsoldier1

Replies(2)

fawkse

Re: Complicated situation

3 years ago

you should ask her out on a date. you may never get the chance to do so after you move. you wouldn't forgive yourself either if you didn't.
seeing that she is your friends ex should be something you would have to bring up to him. it may be hard to do, but as friends you should be the first one to tell.
it is hard to be in a long distance relationship. i have been with my now husband for a very long time. some of that time he spent in the army. we went through hell and back... war... it's rough, but if the love and heart are there it will work.
go out for a movie and dinner... maybe not in that order... she should be able to find a sitter for the evening.
if things go well, let it move slowly. she still is in the process of divorce, and you still have a committment to the army... lucky both for both of you huh lol.
just be assured that all relationships have to start before they ever happen. it takes work to get to the point of living together and marriage. that work invovles time. the more time it takes depends, but after a certain point both of you will aggree to move forward or to let it go.
~fawkse~

rackoball..

Re: Complicated situation

3 years ago

Hi cdnsoldier1 im currently in a simmilar sittuation with my girl as far as with an ex and distance and the army. I agree with fawkse on asking talking to your friend about it, I made the mistake of not doing that and lost a friend because of it. And there is no harm in asking the worst she can do is say no, you still remain friends and you know that you atleast tried. She may also just need a little time after the divorce but if you ask then she knows that your interested, as long as you keep communications up as best you can and show her that you care for her and that you will be there for her ( army permitting... ) she will realize that it could be worth it. You said that she always texts you, thats definitely a plus on your part. I dont know how much time you get to spend with her but it doesnt really matter where you take her as long as wherever it is you make her feel special and she has a good time. What sealed the deal for me was a trip to walmart at 3 am, she realized that even there she had a good time, so it doesnt always have to be some fancy resturant or a movie every night... point is make her feel special and spend as much time as you can with her, she will remember that. Well goodluck to you and stay safe.

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