Debating on casual sex - advice?

in Sex and Intimacy » Swingers and Threesomes • 2 years ago

I've been separated from my husband for over six months. We had been together for 15+ years. To put it bluntly I'm horny. I have a friend that I know would be willing to satisfy my urges but am hesitant to induldge but am not sure why. It's not the "if it doesn't work I'll lose a good friend" scenario that is stopping me. It's partially self esteem issues, partially that I am not physically attracted to him, partially that I haven't been with anyone else in over 15 years and wasn't overly experimental before that.

This man is very open and honest - I know that he would be willing to talk to me about anything and everything if I could just get my nerve up.

I'm not looking for a relationship, just some casual mind blowing sex - I think he's willing - how do I stop over thinking it?

Replies(1)

Beagle

Re: Debating on casual sex - advice?

2 years ago

I'm not sure you're overthinking. It sounds like you're realistically considering the good and the bad things that could happen.

One thing that is essential is that you are both crystal clear on expectations. You understand that what you're wanting as casual sex. It's just possible that he has been harboring feelings for you and he would get really hurt. Don't assume he's seeing the situation the way you are.

What you're describing is often called referred to as "Friendship, with benefits." In reality, once you've crossed the boundaries of friendship, it's hard to go back.

Are you truly sure it's "just sex?" Would you feel OK if he told you about having sex with someone else? If you're "friends," that wouldn't bother you.

Of course, it's possible that he could be wanting the same thing as you. That's a conversation no one can have except you and him.

Top Reply

Response title

Attachments

New to this Portal?

Ask Dan & Jennifer