Does she just always want to be friends?

in Singles and Dating » Dating Tips and Advice • 3 years ago

Long story short, my friend tried to hook me up with a girl. He told me she likes me and stuff, and then she talked to me online and told me that wasn't true, but that she does want to be friends with me. And by the way, she's pretty young and shy. She said she's not looking for a boyfriend, but she does want to get to know me more. We hung out a few times before in case you're wondering. She texts me like 24/7. Every time I ask her if she would consider actually dating me, she doesn't know yet. I think that's just a way of saying no, but I'm not sure (and that's the thing). What do you think? She also told me to go out with another girl because it might or might not work out with her later when she decides she does want a boyfriend. I really like her... love everything about her. But I don't think I can be FRIENDS with her forever, if that's all she wants, because I will always like her the other way. I also don't want to lose my friendship with her because I literally spent like all summer talking to her and I feel lonely when we don't talk. So what should I do? I don't want to move on because I feel like if we become really good friends for a long time she might want to be more than just friends. Thanks a lot for any answers and help.

Replies(8)

fyreblayd..

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

3 years ago

I hate to be the one to break this to you but she has been point blank honest with you on how she feels. She is trying to get you to go out with someone else in the hopes that you will settle for the friendship role that she has put you into. You are in her safe zone same as a gay male friend would be. There is not really a way to change her mind without ruining the friendship. If she changes her mind towards you she will tell you that. But otherwise you are just a friend to her and will not get past that.

bean_burr..

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

3 years ago

The reason she said go out with another girl is because she "doesn't know yet" and doesn't want me to waste my time... So I don't know...

fyreblayd..

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

3 years ago

Originally posted by: Bean Burrito
The reason she said go out with another girl is because she "doesn't know yet" and doesn't want me to waste my time... So I don't know...

Yes that is her trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings and the friendship that she has established with you. Honestly you are in the friend zone right now. If she changes her mind she will let you know. But for right now do not seek the unobtainable. Time changes alot of things and people are included one day she might want to try it but for now she does not. She also does not want to hold you back. Honestly are you going to put your life on hold for someone that may never want you?

I know it hurts and I have this same thing only mine has been for the last 17 years. I did move on. I will always love her and we are talking about it but I know now not to put my life on hold for a maybe. I would have been very lonely for all those years if I had.

bean_burr..

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

3 years ago

You know what stinks? Her mom took her phone away because she was talking to me. She doesn't want us to even hang out and be friends. I'm honestly fine with being friends but her parents don't want her to have "close guy friends"...

lance_dan..

Ljbf

3 years ago

Don't really understand the reasoning behind the parents taking the phone away, unless you two are racking up serious text and voice charges. If that's it, then they're well within their rights to do so. You guys will just have to email and IM.

Yes, you're in the dreaded friends zone with no hope of getting out. Time to move on and date other girls. Nothing is better at converting a friend into a girlfriend than when you're dating other girls. Try it.

murasama1..

Just Friends?

3 years ago

Well to be perfectly honest, she sounds like shes lonely, but still very determined not to look for a boyfriend at this stage. I think u should tackle that issue with her, not from the angle of why she wont date u, but in general. And one more thing, i learned, weirdly enough, that when a girl says no, the guy should just back off and not mention that to her too often, or hell come off as needy, u dont want to fall into that category since ull really compromise ur chances! so take it easy, talk to her, tell her to open up, whats on he mind? whats scaring her! hope i helped! cheers! :):)

beth_in_o..

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

1 year ago

Originally posted by: Bean Burrito
You know what stinks? Her mom took her phone away because she was talking to me. She doesn't want us to even hang out and be friends. I'm honestly fine with being friends but her parents don't want her to have "close guy friends"...

Maybe she WANTS to go out with you, but she can't because her parents won't let her. That's probably why she said that you should go out with another girl and she doesn't want to waste your time!

jasminesix

Re: Does she just always want to be friends?

1 year ago

You have said that she doesn't know your true feelings about her, but why can't you just confess your inner feelings toward her. It will definitely make a huge change, girls are really unpredictable and you will never know if you won't try.