Erection Problems, Never lasting Long.

in Sex and Intimacy » Sex Tips and Advice • 3 years ago

Hello Jenn. and Dan.

I am a masterbater addict, I do lots of it, around 7+ a week.
including watching adult movies and films, and that include any kind of catagory.
I enjoy every kind of movie. from soft-sex, to hardcore-sex, to fetish, to gays/lesbians, to shemales, and lets just say almost everything.

I am more oriented to girls, and i have Anal-sex addiction.
which makes me not minding the feminime parts of gays (bisexual) and shemales.
and i am so into the sexual world, and the feelings of the sexual pleasure of any kind possible.

Thats like an introduction of who I am
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now to my issue,
01 I have an erection problem.
i can make myself having a hard and perfect erection by touching myself.
But i have a very bad control of myself, so i cant really stop myself from touching my penis, i even discovered all kind of pleasure through my penis.

That had put me in very embarresment situations with my new gf.
First of all, i am not really very satisfied of the oral-sex, since first my erection doesnt last even if she is blowjobing, and in the same time, i dont feel like she is doing much of pleasing, since i discovered all the pleasing ways myself, and when i tought her, it didnt work, even when she just did exactly what i told her to do.
which in fact, made her feel so bad, coz she thought she wasnt good for me, and i dont like seeing her feeling that way, coz its not her fault of not making me satisfied alot of that. but she seriously does give alot of effort, and i appreciate that of her, and i enjoy it, but not as much as i do when i masterbate.

thats my first issue.
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02 2nd, i cant remain hard, and have my erection last long, even during intercourse and sex. which also put me in embarresment sitoution again. she is into the hardcore and rough sex, so i need my penis to remain hard and has its erection for long, to do that task. my erection can remain for min or less. and i really appreciate her effort on trying to make me hard everytime it loses its erection.
but its more like that not what it meant to be.
coz i know we can have more pleasure and more heaven like good feelings. if i dont have that kind of issue.

we are very happy couple, we love each others alot, and we are ready to give each others everything. and can give up on anything for each others. i love her alot, and she is the best gf i have ever had (she is the only gf i had physical sexual intercourses).
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I dont do drugs or any alcohol and anything can hurt my sexual activities.
but yet, i dont do to much of sports, i mostly sit on the pc, doing most of my work and job through the pc. i have not very strong high-blood pressure, which is around 125 to 130. while i am 25 years old guy. and i not really fat or chubby, but i am more into the extra weight side, i have addition weight around my body (belly, and hips and kind boobies chest). I still get horny, even if i didnt get my erection.
and i am trying my best to stop, masterbating rate. and stop porn completely.

03 so does watching porn and alot of masterbate has an effect to that.
and what do u guys and girls advice me to do, in every sitoution i mentioned.
and thanks in advance :D any help or a try of helping would be appreciated.

Sorry if my english wasnt good, since its not my first language.
Dark Dwarf

Replies(4)

quitex

Re: Erection Problems, Never lasting Long.

3 years ago

Hey dark! Your English is pretty good, and consider that my English is not my first language as well!

First, you're totally comfortable with yourself, that is why you can accomplish an erection being alone. The reason you might have troubles having erections when you're with your gf is because you're too used to masturbate *alone*. So, why don't you try to be comfortable with the idea of having her around is ok and you WANT her to be there.

Try this: for two or three times, have her just hug you while you masturbate to orgasm. Just hug you, or hold you close. While you masturbate. Then, let her touch your stomach, your chest, maybe kiss you while you're masturbating. After two or three times, you can let her finish you off while masturbating. You get the idea? Include her in your masturbation habit so you get comfortable with the idea. After you accomplished your erection through the whole session with her, you can try penetration. Use lube! Try different types of lube and find the ones that suits you the most. Let her know that you need her help so your sex life gets better. And remember to pay her back! Give her oral sex too. She will thank you a lot! :p

About sex addiction: I don't see any issue with you masturbating a lot - we all did. However if you really feel like your sex life or masturbation habits are affecting negatively your normal life, seek for help. And don't be embarrased about it. Everyone needs help once in a while.

You said she is the only girl you had physical stuff going on: You're not used to the idea of sex being two people. You have the idea of sex between you and your hand. Try what I told you earlier, should work.

Masturbation or watching porn should not affect your sex life with a partner. Again, if you feel like you stop doing important stuff just to jerk off or watch porn, then seek for help. Hope this work!

ps. Glad you're open-minded. We need more people like you!!!
-Jean.

darkdwarf..

Excited with the reply...

3 years ago

Hello Jean.

Thanks alot for ur consideration, and the reply.
and it made me feel more comfortable when u said ur english is not ur first as well hehe.

Thats so true, i am so comfortable with my ownself, but the thing is, that my gf also is able to accomplish an erection for me. she is not bad at all with that. i thought i have mentioned that with the first thread :).

i think ur totally right, that i have to give myself more time, to feel more comfortable ejaculating, and having an orgasm around her. i heard its mostly a mind work, i am trying best to relax and have a good going make out, foreplay, and penetration. but i think where i live, can make one a little more stressed about it, since its not sociallty very accepted (gf/bf having sex fact).

my biggest issue here is not lasting long.
we both can make me have a complete erection. (thanks for the examples u mentioned, they worked just fine and great).

what i am considering and thinking about is.
does masterbating and alot, kills the sensetivity day by day.
coz how i feel and think, that when my gf wants to make me orgasm, i dont get to reach the pleasure limits that i usually have to ejaculate, again its not her fault, she is trying her very best, and almost tried most handjobs and blowjobs techniques.
I do enjoy it so much, but what i think its not enough to ejaculate, so i am thinking, does masterbating is the reason of killing some of the sensetivity of my penis.

Thanks alot again for your feedback.
:D

PS: even when i am alone masterbating, i dont get to have a long lasting erection, it fades seconds after stopping from touching myself. sorry if i havent mention that earlier:P

quitex

Re: Erection Problems, Never lasting Long.

3 years ago

Oh crap. Then yeah, my advice is to talk with your doctor. I know it is so EMBARRASSING! But, hey, he will totally understand that you want to have a more normal sex life.
Sadly we are not doctors :( But yeah if the things doesn't happen only when you're around her but when you're alone too then you might have a case of erectile dysfunction (I had to Google that :p You learn new words everyday :D )

Oh and have a positive attitude :)

-Jean.
PS. thanks for the compliments :D <3

darkdwarf..

Re: Erection Problems, Never lasting Long.

3 years ago

oh damn :P

i am not really fond with Doctors much,but since thats the last option, then i will.

Positive Attitude :P
like it this way, thinking this way, wouldnt make the mind busy worrying about un-nessesary stuff, and lags :P i want full concetration so yeah :P positive attitude it is :P

and i would thank my gf for that, since she is very understanding girl, and she is always there for me, she likes it either i am having problems with that or not. she is just making my life much easier. (i used to have a penis-size fear, since i am not one of those guys who has a big one, but guess what.. my girl-friend make me the confident that i am, she just love me the way i am the size i am. and everyday she makes me feel good, and feed me with the great words i always want to hear. and i know she is not the type who would fake it, coz she was to honest with me in some stuff, that made me think no she is not the type who would fake things around. she was to honest with me in things, that would break others apart. gladdly, we will always be together ;)

anyway i have gone with the wind along with my stories hehe
but anyway. thanks for the feedback and ur answers.

i wonder if Dan and Jenn, would actually somehow reach here, and might have other ideas or sugestions. i respect jean advices and suggestions. but i am still looking forward to hear more feedbacks :D