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Dear Dan and Jennifer (and all others),
this is gonna be a very looooong note, and bight be unusual as well, because I'm not really asking your advice, but rather your personal opinion, based on personal experiences.
In the question I used the word "vocation". Not "job", "profession" nor "work", but "vocation". It's not something that might affect your way of living, but rather something that other parts of your life might affect. But not necessarily. I know myself well enough to be aware, that I can be really passionate about mine (clue 1: It has something to do with art, and overall with culture. I don't want to be more specific about it.). One very long relationship of mine broke up because of it. It lasted for several years, but in the end, we are still pretty much just kids (I'm still below 25), so still, much could happen.
Right now I'm in a much different relationship with a person even more passionate about her lifegoals than me, which puts me to the other end of things went on in the previously mentioned relation. Now I am the one having a lot more free time, in which i can miss her so much. I'm not asking if I should stay with her or not. I do love her, I think i understand her motives, and I just cant let myself be hypocritical. It is a matter of discipline too. Besides, it makes me realize that I have a life to run, with only bits of free moments, which are good to be shared with others (in this case my loved one).
To make my point clearer: I'm still young, which can lead to two seemingly opposing ways:
1) I have time to try out different ways to be in a relationship, I don't have to stick with one person, maybe there is a better one, and I still have to have sex with as many people as possible or my body's gonna explode, etc etc.
2) I don't have time for anything. I have establish something that could last for the rest of my life, or even longer. Gotta change the world, learn to know everything, be someone significant, and start living a life that matters even in a bigger scale.
Although sometimes I'd like live the first way, I always have to realize, that there might be more things around and I can't let them pass by. I know a good relationship is important, but why am I even thinking that? Do I really need to know someone beside me, do I really want to have sex with countless people, or am I just being overly manipulated? The internet consists mostly of porn, all advertisements build up to your sexual frustrations, and most peoples number one topic is relationship, like there isn't anything else to think about, besides one's relation to one single person. Every second a vast amount of information rams into our braincells, how the hell can be even slightly sure that our thoughts are really ours? So I can't really decide if it should bother me or not...
Whew. That was long. Sorry about that.
So the question is, do you have personal experiences about relationship vs vocation? I'd be glad to hear it (especially from a couple, who are passionately giving valuable advices about relationships:) )
Truly yours
Crazypills, from the heart of Europe
this is gonna be a very looooong note, and bight be unusual as well, because I'm not really asking your advice, but rather your personal opinion, based on personal experiences.
In the question I used the word "vocation". Not "job", "profession" nor "work", but "vocation". It's not something that might affect your way of living, but rather something that other parts of your life might affect. But not necessarily. I know myself well enough to be aware, that I can be really passionate about mine (clue 1: It has something to do with art, and overall with culture. I don't want to be more specific about it.). One very long relationship of mine broke up because of it. It lasted for several years, but in the end, we are still pretty much just kids (I'm still below 25), so still, much could happen.
Right now I'm in a much different relationship with a person even more passionate about her lifegoals than me, which puts me to the other end of things went on in the previously mentioned relation. Now I am the one having a lot more free time, in which i can miss her so much. I'm not asking if I should stay with her or not. I do love her, I think i understand her motives, and I just cant let myself be hypocritical. It is a matter of discipline too. Besides, it makes me realize that I have a life to run, with only bits of free moments, which are good to be shared with others (in this case my loved one).
To make my point clearer: I'm still young, which can lead to two seemingly opposing ways:
1) I have time to try out different ways to be in a relationship, I don't have to stick with one person, maybe there is a better one, and I still have to have sex with as many people as possible or my body's gonna explode, etc etc.
2) I don't have time for anything. I have establish something that could last for the rest of my life, or even longer. Gotta change the world, learn to know everything, be someone significant, and start living a life that matters even in a bigger scale.
Although sometimes I'd like live the first way, I always have to realize, that there might be more things around and I can't let them pass by. I know a good relationship is important, but why am I even thinking that? Do I really need to know someone beside me, do I really want to have sex with countless people, or am I just being overly manipulated? The internet consists mostly of porn, all advertisements build up to your sexual frustrations, and most peoples number one topic is relationship, like there isn't anything else to think about, besides one's relation to one single person. Every second a vast amount of information rams into our braincells, how the hell can be even slightly sure that our thoughts are really ours? So I can't really decide if it should bother me or not...
Whew. That was long. Sorry about that.
So the question is, do you have personal experiences about relationship vs vocation? I'd be glad to hear it (especially from a couple, who are passionately giving valuable advices about relationships:) )
Truly yours
Crazypills, from the heart of Europe
