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In the big picture, I perceive myself to be a confident, strong, self assured young woman. However, I have recently been questioning this perception as a result of some incidents within my relationship.
My insecurities began about three weeks ago when in conversation, my boyfriend made a comment about my weight. The comment was something along the lines of " You know I think you're sexy, but I think you would look sexier if you lost some weight." I am 5'11, wear size 10 (US) jeans. I am a former hockey and rugby player, so my stature is not slight by any means. Previous to his comment, I have always felt that while I may not fit the Hollywood standard of beauty, I am healthy, and I am comfortable in my own skin.
More recently, after going down on my boyfriend, he was unable to come, even thought he says it was probably the best blowjob he's ever had before. Thinking nothing of it at that point, our time together continued on and we had sex. Again, he was unable to come. We After trying different positions and techniques, he still had not achieved. In an entire day that we spent together in bed, he was only able to achieve orgasm by masturbating.
This became a topic of discussion later on. Concerns and ideas that were thrown around include; his girth, my tightness, his inability to mentally relax.
While he feels good about having talked about these things, and feeling good about being comfortable to talk about these things, I feel more inadequate than ever before. I know hes not saying any of these things to hurt me, I can help but feel not good enough. I feel as though I am not attractive enough, not good enough in bed (orally, or vaginally), or perhaps even too loose.
I am trying to be supportive of him, in resolving what ever issue it is that keeps him from climaxing, but I am also having a very difficult time not retreating into my shell as a result of these feelings of inadequacy. What can I do resolve my feelings, so he doesn't feel even more pressured by the additional issues stemming from his difficulty coming?
My insecurities began about three weeks ago when in conversation, my boyfriend made a comment about my weight. The comment was something along the lines of " You know I think you're sexy, but I think you would look sexier if you lost some weight." I am 5'11, wear size 10 (US) jeans. I am a former hockey and rugby player, so my stature is not slight by any means. Previous to his comment, I have always felt that while I may not fit the Hollywood standard of beauty, I am healthy, and I am comfortable in my own skin.
More recently, after going down on my boyfriend, he was unable to come, even thought he says it was probably the best blowjob he's ever had before. Thinking nothing of it at that point, our time together continued on and we had sex. Again, he was unable to come. We After trying different positions and techniques, he still had not achieved. In an entire day that we spent together in bed, he was only able to achieve orgasm by masturbating.
This became a topic of discussion later on. Concerns and ideas that were thrown around include; his girth, my tightness, his inability to mentally relax.
While he feels good about having talked about these things, and feeling good about being comfortable to talk about these things, I feel more inadequate than ever before. I know hes not saying any of these things to hurt me, I can help but feel not good enough. I feel as though I am not attractive enough, not good enough in bed (orally, or vaginally), or perhaps even too loose.
I am trying to be supportive of him, in resolving what ever issue it is that keeps him from climaxing, but I am also having a very difficult time not retreating into my shell as a result of these feelings of inadequacy. What can I do resolve my feelings, so he doesn't feel even more pressured by the additional issues stemming from his difficulty coming?
