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So you want to be swingers? Looking forward to this new lifestyle? Are you enthusiastic? Maybe a bit anxious?
Good. Most people are. Like me, I believe this was a excellent catalyst for our relationship and our sex life. We are now more open with our desires and dislikes. But the best suggestion I can give is this...
Let's face it, life as an adult is demanding. You might have a career or family that consumes most of your time. If that is true, make the time for a real one on one with your partner. Take him or her to dinner, and have a straight talk. Don’t bullshit, just get to the point. Arrange to go to a movie and take your mind off the lifestyle, then after come back with a fresh perspective. Even better, rent a hotel room and have awesome sex. Afterwards, talk even more.
Thing is, you are together in this and it is a time for complete honesty. Don’t hold back and worry about feelings. If you say something out of line, then it was probably an honest reaction. Work with that and find out why you sparked some adverse reaction.
Now that you have established your thoughts together, start your search. There are several sites out there that can help you find the right combination of friends. Look closely at them and take your time. If you do this at a good pace, you will see the changes in the members you are perusing. As a couple ourselves, we have taken a good amount of time looking for potential playmates and making friends along the way. In that time I have seen profiles come and go, from a couple to a single on several occasions. That is what you are trying to avoid. Just watch who are online, what there profile is like and it will show you that some people are moving way too fast. Guaranteed WHAMO! They'll be single once more.
We have made friends with couples that have created problems for themselves because of that same fact, moving too fast. Most of these couples are younger and less tied down, while other couples have children, are more cautious and level headed. There is rarely a middle ground with any age group and the variables make things seem impossible. Face it, you WILL have an easier time talking with people your own age. That’s not always true, but is a likely scenario that can guarantee success by sticking to your own age group.
Obviously you have to ultimately ask yourselves, “What are we looking for?” If you are looking for that elusive single gal for a FMF, good luck. If you are looking for men for a MFM, MMFM, or whatever, you’re always in luck. There is never a shortage of horny men looking for action. But no matter what you’re looking for, look for dialog. If you can’t get a straight conversation going with this potential playmate, male or female, move along. Don’t feel desperate. Don’t settle for anything less than complete comfort. This is a very simple way to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves. You even have the slightest doubt then you are not ready for who or what comes next, STOP. Take inventory of your senses and think hard, are we ready?
Most of this is based on my own personal experience and I don't claim to know everything. So far, I have been sticking to these few rules above and things are moving nicely. Biggest factor of all, communication. Both me an my wife are always talking. Talking about new contacts, new ideas and simple questions like: Are you happy? Is this right for you? What do you want to do?
Never stop asking questions, never stop making suggestions and never stop complaining. It works.
OverKnight
Good. Most people are. Like me, I believe this was a excellent catalyst for our relationship and our sex life. We are now more open with our desires and dislikes. But the best suggestion I can give is this...
Let's face it, life as an adult is demanding. You might have a career or family that consumes most of your time. If that is true, make the time for a real one on one with your partner. Take him or her to dinner, and have a straight talk. Don’t bullshit, just get to the point. Arrange to go to a movie and take your mind off the lifestyle, then after come back with a fresh perspective. Even better, rent a hotel room and have awesome sex. Afterwards, talk even more.
Thing is, you are together in this and it is a time for complete honesty. Don’t hold back and worry about feelings. If you say something out of line, then it was probably an honest reaction. Work with that and find out why you sparked some adverse reaction.
Now that you have established your thoughts together, start your search. There are several sites out there that can help you find the right combination of friends. Look closely at them and take your time. If you do this at a good pace, you will see the changes in the members you are perusing. As a couple ourselves, we have taken a good amount of time looking for potential playmates and making friends along the way. In that time I have seen profiles come and go, from a couple to a single on several occasions. That is what you are trying to avoid. Just watch who are online, what there profile is like and it will show you that some people are moving way too fast. Guaranteed WHAMO! They'll be single once more.
We have made friends with couples that have created problems for themselves because of that same fact, moving too fast. Most of these couples are younger and less tied down, while other couples have children, are more cautious and level headed. There is rarely a middle ground with any age group and the variables make things seem impossible. Face it, you WILL have an easier time talking with people your own age. That’s not always true, but is a likely scenario that can guarantee success by sticking to your own age group.
Obviously you have to ultimately ask yourselves, “What are we looking for?” If you are looking for that elusive single gal for a FMF, good luck. If you are looking for men for a MFM, MMFM, or whatever, you’re always in luck. There is never a shortage of horny men looking for action. But no matter what you’re looking for, look for dialog. If you can’t get a straight conversation going with this potential playmate, male or female, move along. Don’t feel desperate. Don’t settle for anything less than complete comfort. This is a very simple way to ensure everyone is enjoying themselves. You even have the slightest doubt then you are not ready for who or what comes next, STOP. Take inventory of your senses and think hard, are we ready?
Most of this is based on my own personal experience and I don't claim to know everything. So far, I have been sticking to these few rules above and things are moving nicely. Biggest factor of all, communication. Both me an my wife are always talking. Talking about new contacts, new ideas and simple questions like: Are you happy? Is this right for you? What do you want to do?
OverKnight
