First-swing jitters

in Sex and Intimacy » Swingers and Threesomes • 2 years ago

I've always been intrigued by the idea of swinging, but never followed through on my desire to. Now, I'm in a relationship with a guy who has been in the lifestyle for a couple years. He knows I'm curious and we've planned to go to an event. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. Is that normal? How do I deal with it so that I can let loose and really enjoy the experience. I've had a three some with other couples before, but never while I was in a relationship. Sometimes I think I'm just making too big of a deal about it, but I want to be comfortable and not intimidated. We've been to a club, but there was no action because neither of us were attracted to anyone there at the time. We haven't talked about boundaries yet, but it's definately on my to-do list now. I'm not sure what to expect or what to do once we get to the event...PLEASE HELP!!!

Replies(2)

Beagle

Re: First-swing jitters

2 years ago

Originally posted by: swingcurious
Society for Human Sexuality[/url]. They are a non-profit group and they aren't interested in selling anything. If you go to one of the sites that promotes swing clubs or whatever, I can tell you the advice you'll get-Swinging is great, improves relationships, cures warts, and everything. The website I'm mentioning does a good job of describing the risks and potential benefits in a clear and objective manner. I was invited to swing by some friends, and I came upon this website when I was researching it to find out if I wanted to do it. I was impressed with their objectivity.

Let me complement you on asking such a great question. I hope I've given you a starting point. If you have more specific questions, please be sure and post. You'll find a lot of helpful and knowledgeable people here who are glad to help.

danimarie

Re: First-swing jitters

2 years ago

Okay, I agree with Beagle about sitting down and working on defining your boundaries. Relationship issues often happen because boundaries weren't established and people cross into territories that bother their partners. This is the first place you need to start.

In reality you will probably still be nervous at your first event. We have yet to go to an event, but have now met several people from online. It is nerve racking at first, especially if you are a little shy. Simply try to relax. You can have a drink, but stick to one or two and make sure you are completely in control (after all you don't want to do something you will later regret).

It is also important that you talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling. He can help you relax a little and might have some great suggestions.

It is normal to be nervous and jittery (even after a few times)! Give yourself a break and make sure you both know what you want out of the experience. Then see from there...

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