Flirting is sending the wrong message?

in Singles and Dating » Flirting, Seduction, and Pick Up Lines • 2 years ago

So I'm 18, female and a virgin. The thing is though, I want to wait. This always tends to hold me back from flirting with guys not only on dating websites, but also in real life. I'm at the age where sexual exploration is basically a given and I'm scared of leading a guy on or even being a 'cocktease' because I don't want to have sex.

Is this a wrong idea? Should I continue flirting and going on dates, even if I know the guy is expecting something?

I'm also scared of telling guys who I might start dating because what if they think that I won't be worth it, will be too much work, or even that I'm basically needy and just want to hold on to the guy for as long as possible.

Help please,

Vanessa

Replies(2)

Xero

Re: Flirting is sending the wrong message?

2 years ago

They way you are is perfectly fine.

I know today not many people want to have a girlfriend that wont put out. There are guys that don't want that also.I my self do not want a girl that wants to have sex. Currently I will wait until marriage, and I'm completely fine with that. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend is the same away, just from her family upbringing.

I believe you flirting with guys is perfectly fine, its a away to get some one to be with you. I think if their in a relationship with you they should understand how you feel about sex. If they don't want to be with you because of that reason their not for you at all. Me and my girlfriend flirt all the time but it leads to nothing more than kissing so I don't think you should feel bad at all.

Beagle

Re: Flirting is sending the wrong message?

2 years ago

Flirting is one of those words that can have a lot of definitions.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to remain a virgin. Some guys won't date you if you don't put out. Good riddance. An author for young people that I really respect calls this the "swine test." If you turn a guy down for sex and he leaves, that's all you would ever have had with him anyway.

There's nothing wrong with dating, knowing the night won't end in sex. We're used to it. We just accept it as part of our lives. A guy taking you out does not put you under any obligation to him.

You can talk to guys without sending the message you want to jump in bed with them. If you put your hand on their thigh then you're being a tease. If you act like a young lady, then you're not being a tease. There's nothing wrong with knowing that you don't have to use sex to get a guy to like you and date you.

Don't tell me that all guys are only after sex. That's an excuse for not being willing to get out and meet people. If they pressure you and you say "No, take me home." then you've sent them a message that you deserve to be respected.