Ask Dan & Jennifer

Hi Brett,

Seems to me the answer is "maybe".

As a "metro" guy, I feel your pain... those lines blur sometimes. More and more guys take care of themselves, dress nice, bathe more frequently, smell nice, and all that. Today's women don't really want a man that smells like a farm animal anymore. They expect you to wash up and take care of yourself. Thus was born "Metro Man" - "metrosexuals". People love labels. LOL

In fact we did a radio segment on a nationally syndicated Canadian talk radio station on this very topic recently. After you get the intro, the impatient can scroll to the 5:00 minute mark.
You have 2 issues here... one is how to attract women. The other one is how to attract less guys.

On how to attract less guys, that depends on where you're spending your time that you find yourself around a larger population of bisexual or gay guys. Do you spend a lot of time shopping or mall browsing by yourself maybe?

Until recently, it was rare for a straight guy (read: phobic guy) to dress nice or take care of himself. So it was mainly the gay guys who paved the way here. So you could unintentionally be making yourself more appealing to certain guys by how you dress, act, etc.

Or there's always the possibility that you're "curious", to which all the phobic guys will cringe, but it's a possibility... but if you are, you could be putting off that "vibe". Nothing wrong with that, just a thought.

As for attracting - and APPROACHING women, that's a science in and of itself. But it comes down in large part to confidence in yourself and what you want. And don't worry, it gets stronger with time, you just have to start.

Here's a quick video to get you thinking in the right direction...

"23 Year Old Virgin - How Can I Get A Woman Without Paying?"

And this one...

"How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl"

Hey Dan, I'm confused.. South Park women (on the episode with the Crab People) said they like their hairy, smelly guys sometimes.... lol

OK, but seriously... as a woman I think there's gotta be a balance to it. I like a guy who is kind of "metro" but not really all the time. I'm not saying I like nose hair and dingleberries.. but a sweaty man with some dirt under his nails can also be very attractive. Isn't that why the firemen calendars are so popular?
You've gotta find a balance. And as Dan said, those lines blur sometimes. But this (to me) can also be obvious. I mean, a good looking guy can wear pink sometimes.. but if it's hot pink, or all the time, or sparkly.. it says gay... If the jeans are super tight and there's a g-string showing.. it says gay... if the nails are done with anything other than clear.. it says gay... and yes, I have seen all of this with guys who claim to be straighter than an arrow. So be sure you're not going too far.

And, again, as Dan said if you are curious you may be inadvertantly sending out those signals. A gay or bi guy is more likely to be attracted to another bi or curious guy than most women. There's another double standard... men want a woman who is bi, but women don't want a guy that is (I'm speaking in general, because obviously we're all different). If you are, go with it.. try it out and don't worry about it. We're all who we are regardless of who we were taught to be. There's no sense in trying to live some way other than how you are.

As far as attracting girls... Dan's advice is more than sufficient... Confidence is everything. If you're comfortable with yourself, a girl is much more likely to be attracted to, and feel comfortable with you.