Haveing trouble finding (single) women.

in Singles and Dating » Dating Tips and Advice • 2 years ago

I'm a 20-yr old community college student, and I seem to be haveing some trouble finding single women. Back in high school, i kept haveing troubles of being the "nice guy" and being seen as just a friend or brother. The only "relationship" I had ended up just being a load of pain, and that hampered me for a long time. Now, though, I want to try again, but can't seem to have any luck. I'm shy, but a few times I've sucked it up and tried to get to know women, usually ones in my classes.

Problem i keep running into, though, is that all of them seem to be taken :( . Am I looking in the wrong places? I tried a few online sights, but that didn't work out too well. Are there other places i can look? Or could my problem be my approach (trying to find something in common, building on that, then trying to ask out to lunch or something)?

If any of you dateing guru's would spread your knowledge to me, i would greatly apprciate it! :)

Replies(2)

Beagle

Re: Haveing trouble finding (single) women.

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Arashi19
Back in high school, i kept haveing troubles of being the "nice guy" and being seen as just a friend or brother.

If you're serious about making changes in your life, I can help. First of all, I suspect the above statement is the crux of the problem. You're probably coming off as a nice guy and this is leading to a problem.

Making changes in your personal life is like joining a gym. If you go and work out, you will get results. If you sit on your ass, you won't see change in your life. You've been hurt in relationships. So have I and every other human on the face of the planet. Time to man up and get off the pity pot.

The first thing I want you to do is get a copy of this book Amazon.com: No More Mr. Nice Guy! (9780762415335): Robert A. Glover: Books and start doing the exercises. I also want you to sign up for the online support group at No More Mr. Nice Guy It's free, and they have forums to discuss the exercises for overcoming nice-guy syndrome. I don't get any money from them if you sign up or not, so you're out of excuses.

Problem i keep running into, though, is that all of them seem to be taken

These are excuses and will lead nowhere. If this was true, no one would ever date. There are 3.4 billion women in the world. Statistically, there is someone you are compatible with.

I agree that being the "Nice guy" is probably what is sabotaging your relationship attempts. The first thing to do is to stop dating for a time until you deal with those issues. I'm a recovering nice guy, so I can speak with confidence about the benefits of that. I did a self-imposed dating moratorium for six months, and afterwards my dating life was much improved because I wasn't dealing with the "nice guy" baggage.

Now, the balls in your court. You can be a man and take responsibility for your own life, but this is something no one else can do for you. There is a saying "What one man can do, another can do." If you want change in your life, you have to take the steps to make it happen.

I know I've talked pretty plain to you. Time to man up and take responsibility for the results you want in your life.

ralphperry

Re: Haveing trouble finding (single) women.

2 years ago

Its not just women who feel "that we won't be fully realised or recognised until we are part of a twosome: until a man (or woman) has accepted us, approved of us, made us "whole". "