Response title
This is preview!
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I am 21 yrs old and had been with my boyfriend who is 27 yrs old for 8 months. Everything was wonderful until I began feeling that he was lying to me about something.
We are both members of a communication website and I noticed romantic pictures of a girl I thought to be his ex. He had told me his previous relationship was 2 years long but it that had ended a year before we met.
I tried to ignore my insecurities and put pictures of him with me but he deleted them. This made me more suspicious.
I confronted him about who this girl was in the pictures and he said that it was his ex but that the pictures have been up for so long he'd rather not remove his fond memories (which I understand). His excuse for deleting the pictures with me in them was because he felt insecure about how he was looking in them.
When asked if he was still in touch with his ex he said they hadnt been since months. I then found out that they hadnt broken up a year before we met, but 6 months before. I was ok with that too, but something still didnt feel right about his constant change of story and I had to follow my instincts so I went through his phone. I know it was wrong but what I discovered was that they were very much in touch, but also that she had gone on a road trip with him and some of their friends. What hurt most was that this was when we had been together for 2 months and he had been hiding it ever since. I knew of the trip but I had no idea he was going with his ex and he never bothered to tell me.
I confronted him about this and he swears that he never cheated on me, but refuses to admit that they went together. I have come across some pictures from that trip which prove they went together (he doesnt know that I have the photographical evidence) as I want HIM to admit it to me himself!
He made all kinds of excuses and refused when i asked him to remove pictures of her from the website as he claims they are no longer close and she means nothing to him. What made all this worse was that when I asked him if she knew about me he said she didnt and I felt that he was hiding me from her.
Due to this information, I sent her a message and told her I knew they had gone on a trip together and introduced myself as his girlfriend. She did not respond to my message, instead within hours he texted me and said that I had crossed a line by what I did, he would have told her about me if she had asked, and although I had already broken it off with him by then, I suggested to meet and talk things over. He said that I had gone too far and at this moment a reconciliation was impossible.
He blames me although he is the one who lied, and kept telling me it was all in my head and saying I was insecure and imagining things. I've proven that I wasnt, and have proof that I didnt imagine it!
I'm hurt that for him it only came to an end when she found out about me! How do I deal with this?? He swears on everything dear to him that he did not cheat, and texted me to apologise for all that he has done, but how am I to forgive and trust someone who has lied so much?! I know if I try he will too, but for now i'm just keeping my distance because he is frustrated by how i've reacted, and I am frustrated that he lied and still confused if he did or didnt cheat. I do very much miss him and want him and miss the good times we spent together... but I cant help feeling that it was all a lie!
I would REALLY appreciate your advice on this matter!
Thankyou and best wishes, Sunny.
I am 21 yrs old and had been with my boyfriend who is 27 yrs old for 8 months. Everything was wonderful until I began feeling that he was lying to me about something.
We are both members of a communication website and I noticed romantic pictures of a girl I thought to be his ex. He had told me his previous relationship was 2 years long but it that had ended a year before we met.
I tried to ignore my insecurities and put pictures of him with me but he deleted them. This made me more suspicious.
I confronted him about who this girl was in the pictures and he said that it was his ex but that the pictures have been up for so long he'd rather not remove his fond memories (which I understand). His excuse for deleting the pictures with me in them was because he felt insecure about how he was looking in them.
When asked if he was still in touch with his ex he said they hadnt been since months. I then found out that they hadnt broken up a year before we met, but 6 months before. I was ok with that too, but something still didnt feel right about his constant change of story and I had to follow my instincts so I went through his phone. I know it was wrong but what I discovered was that they were very much in touch, but also that she had gone on a road trip with him and some of their friends. What hurt most was that this was when we had been together for 2 months and he had been hiding it ever since. I knew of the trip but I had no idea he was going with his ex and he never bothered to tell me.
I confronted him about this and he swears that he never cheated on me, but refuses to admit that they went together. I have come across some pictures from that trip which prove they went together (he doesnt know that I have the photographical evidence) as I want HIM to admit it to me himself!
He made all kinds of excuses and refused when i asked him to remove pictures of her from the website as he claims they are no longer close and she means nothing to him. What made all this worse was that when I asked him if she knew about me he said she didnt and I felt that he was hiding me from her.
Due to this information, I sent her a message and told her I knew they had gone on a trip together and introduced myself as his girlfriend. She did not respond to my message, instead within hours he texted me and said that I had crossed a line by what I did, he would have told her about me if she had asked, and although I had already broken it off with him by then, I suggested to meet and talk things over. He said that I had gone too far and at this moment a reconciliation was impossible.
He blames me although he is the one who lied, and kept telling me it was all in my head and saying I was insecure and imagining things. I've proven that I wasnt, and have proof that I didnt imagine it!
I'm hurt that for him it only came to an end when she found out about me! How do I deal with this?? He swears on everything dear to him that he did not cheat, and texted me to apologise for all that he has done, but how am I to forgive and trust someone who has lied so much?! I know if I try he will too, but for now i'm just keeping my distance because he is frustrated by how i've reacted, and I am frustrated that he lied and still confused if he did or didnt cheat. I do very much miss him and want him and miss the good times we spent together... but I cant help feeling that it was all a lie!
I would REALLY appreciate your advice on this matter!
Thankyou and best wishes, Sunny.
