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A year ago i caught my husband watching porn told hi that it hurt my self esteem and that i felt betrayed since i was not in his sexual fantasy....a year and a half into our marriage i caught him after he came home from watching a movie with his buddies...he said it was disgusting and he says its dirty and apologizes and thinks its porn addiction because he has been doing it since i caught him last time....i dig diged deeper and he said that yes he did look at other girls in public wheter i was with him or not but that he never compared me to them and that he never cared for them that he was stupid for looking even...when i confronted him about the pron i made him show me all the videos he watched that night...they were all kinds except gay and with animals.......and other weird ones he was crying but i can see that one on of them he stopped crying sais thta i was hurting him and myself...which i was....i was comparing me....and now i cant even have a real smile with him and cant go to the store with him because i get depressed everytime i see a pretty girl he says i amk the most beautiful girl in the world...but i cant beleive anything except go with the flow he has been talking to a priest and has been goint to church to pray(on his own i didnt make him) he says he has aporn addiction for watching it all the time since he was 14 and now he is 22.....i have been trying to conceive and he wants to be a father but i dot know whats is wrong with my body because i hve been having a period for 21 days and sharp pains ...its better now but cant go to the dr to check it out ....................i feel like the ugliest human in the world and i feel i have lost a best friend....i always ;loc=ved his eyes but now i think they are stained i dont know what to do and i love him but i dont know what to do...everyone says he was in depression before he met me and i was his first and first official gf now wife.........and that he loves me so much......i know he does but i feel like i have two personalities...one who pretends to have a nice time and tha other torturing him every time he says i am beautiful telling him that he is a liar and a backstabber and wants to see him cry....but there is a third person here that is being kept away from him that loves him and wants to nurture and hugg him and love him but the othr two personalities are pushing her deeper in to an empty room..................what should i dooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek::(
