Hi. I can answer that because I have 44 years experience.
Men vary a great deal in what they think and how they think. There are probabilistic statements, however.
1. He doesn't think about the relationship as much as you do. Men think in terms of action and planning.
2. Men are problem solvers. In my therapy practice, one of the most common complaints I hear from women is that the man tries to solve their problem when what they're actually wanting is to be listened to. One of the basic switches in a man's head is to solve the problem. We're genetically programmed to provide. If you tell a man you're hungry, his mind goes to how to kill something and drag it to the cave. We can't meet the same needs that your girlfriends can. Women and men are complementary, not interchangeable.
3. When women are hurt or upset, they want to talk about it. Women deal with stress by relating. Men tend to withdraw to think it over. That tends to make women feel rejected. Actually, that's just how we deal with things. When he works it out in his head, he'll let you know. Respect his need to do that.
4. Men are less responsive to subtle cues. If you're thinking "He just doesn't get it!" you're probably right. Actually, research has shown that responding to non-verbal cues and subtle hints is something that white men are especially bad at. You won't offend us if you tell us what you want. There are a lot of times you're mad, and we honestly have no idea what about. Please just tell us what you want; you won't offend us. We appreciate it.
5. Men hurt over different things. When a woman comes in for treatment for depression, there's about an 80% chance that it's either biological or related to a relationship problem. When a man is depressed, it is almost always related to a work problem. The way women stress over their appearance is how men stress over performance.
6. Sexually, we are more excited visually; you are more sexually excited by what you hear. We don't scream and cry at concerts by heart throbs, the same way you you don't get whiplash when a scantily dressed man walks by. We like to look at women. Don't take that as meaning we don't find you beautiful. We honestly do it without thinking about it.
John Gray's book "Men are From Mars; Women are From Venus" is actually pretty accurate. He makes his point in the first couple of chapters and the rest is repetitive, however.
