Hi Roxanne,
This is a pretty common problem for women after giving birth. As I'm sure you know, giving birth stretches the muscles in the vagina a great deal. You didn't mention how long it has been since giving birth, but if it hasn't been too long then your vagina may still be healing and things may still be recovering inside. Although the vagina may never go back to the exact way it was originally, in time it does tighten back up. Depending on how much stretching occurred, it can take several months for everything to normalize. There are a variety of factors that affect how much stretching occurs, such as the size of the baby, how much and how long you had to push and were forceps used.
The most common method for addressing this problem is the use of kegel exercises. Kegel exercises help tighten up the pelvic floor muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, try and stop your flow of urine when you're going to bathroom. The muscles used to stop your flow of urine are the muscles you will be working in kegel exercises. Don't' do your kegel exercise while urinating, but use urination as a way to locate your pelvic floor muscles. Once you locate them, then when you have an empty bladder you want to squeeze them as if you are stopping the flow of urine and hold for about three seconds and then relax for three seconds. Repeat about 10 times and do this several times a day.
There are also kegel exercisers you can buy to help you out. Some of the most popular brand names are Kegelmaster, Kegelcisor and Natural Contours Energie.
The great thing about kegel exercises is that not only does it help tighten the muscles, but it will also help prevent incontinence and also improves orgasm potential and intensity for many women.
Many women experience this problem, so don't be embarrassed or ashamed to talk with your OBGYN.
Additionally, another thing you can do while you're waiting for the muscles to tone back up is to engage in other forms of sex besides intercourse. Oral sex and a good old hand job will give him the tightness he desires. For you, oral sex or stimulation of the clitoris with his hands or a vibrator may be more satisfying.
;)
