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I am 20 and my fiance is 17 with our birthdays within the next 3 months. Her name is Amanda and she is the most beautiful and amazing person i have ever met. Seriously, I could never have imagined myself with a more attractive girl. We are sort of your typical high school sweethearts, well sort of. let me back up a little. My fiance and i met when i was 17 and she was 14. Before her i had only had one "real" girlfriend. From the moment i saw her i new there was something special about her. She was beyond beautiful and seemed to hide, behind her radiant eyes, a certain glow that left me not far short memorized. To make the story short, we soon began dating.
About a year after of dating I began to find myself feeling tied down. I felt as though my life was restricted by a "clingy" girlfriend. I wanted to experience things. I started to wonder what it would be like to date other girls and party more without the restriction of a girlfriend. I felt as though i was missing out in the experiences of life. As these feelings carried on the stress was baring down on me like a load of bricks. I snapped, broke up with her, and told her i felt as if i was missing out on life and i needed space. She was devastated but i felt as though it were for the best that i didn't lead her on. I was in a band we were touring and playing shows cross the country. I just wanted to have fun and didn't think i was ready for the serious relationship. Though the time we were apart i felt as though i had made a horrible mistake. I starting hanging out with other girls, going to parties and so on. Still i had this burning feeling that i had lost something, like a part of me was missing. Needless to say we got back together. It was pretty ruff from time to time. The ups and Downs happened so often i felt as though i was on a roller coaster. I now realize that i was starting to go through what i now call the "who am I?" stage of life that teens and young adults go through. Amanda stayed true and persistent and true through the whole ordeal.
I have now realized the difference between short term fun and long term happiness. Though the experiences and fun are nice i would never trade it for what I now share with Amanda. We are now graduated and for quite a while have been very happy together. I have decided to pursue a career in the military, focused on the medical field. We have decided to get married and start a life together. We planed a wedding and got engaged. We were both so excited at first. Recently though my worst fears were confirmed. After noticing she was upset we set down to have a talk. She said,"I've been thinking, We're really young, are you ready for this? I mean, when i was at that party last night i realized, I'm never going to get to do stuff like this again. I'm just worried I'm missing out on things getting married so young. You're the only real boy friend I've had, I never got to experience dating other people. I've been with you for so long i don't even know what its like to not be with you. I really don't even know who i am." I wanted to be surprised but for some reason wasn't. I instantly shot back to high school remember myself and my own emotions, she being about the same age that i had started feeling almost exactly the same way. This conversation happened about 5 hours ago and lasted for quite a while. I now feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. She says she still wants to get married and she isn't backing out but I know she still has the "what if?" mentality. I know this is one of the main downfalls of high school sweetheart relationships, and I'm naturally a bit scared.
I want more than anything to make this relationship work. I know we can not have a happy and successful marriage if she is more worried about what she missed out on. Should we go to counseling? Is there anything i can do to help her or should i stay out of it? With the wedding 4 months away and my plans of joining the air force on the line I feel there is a lot of pressure to get this worked out. Please, any advise would be greatly appreciated. And thank you for taking the time to read this, i apologize for the lengthy writing.
Thanks again,
Nate in Colorado
About a year after of dating I began to find myself feeling tied down. I felt as though my life was restricted by a "clingy" girlfriend. I wanted to experience things. I started to wonder what it would be like to date other girls and party more without the restriction of a girlfriend. I felt as though i was missing out in the experiences of life. As these feelings carried on the stress was baring down on me like a load of bricks. I snapped, broke up with her, and told her i felt as if i was missing out on life and i needed space. She was devastated but i felt as though it were for the best that i didn't lead her on. I was in a band we were touring and playing shows cross the country. I just wanted to have fun and didn't think i was ready for the serious relationship. Though the time we were apart i felt as though i had made a horrible mistake. I starting hanging out with other girls, going to parties and so on. Still i had this burning feeling that i had lost something, like a part of me was missing. Needless to say we got back together. It was pretty ruff from time to time. The ups and Downs happened so often i felt as though i was on a roller coaster. I now realize that i was starting to go through what i now call the "who am I?" stage of life that teens and young adults go through. Amanda stayed true and persistent and true through the whole ordeal.
I have now realized the difference between short term fun and long term happiness. Though the experiences and fun are nice i would never trade it for what I now share with Amanda. We are now graduated and for quite a while have been very happy together. I have decided to pursue a career in the military, focused on the medical field. We have decided to get married and start a life together. We planed a wedding and got engaged. We were both so excited at first. Recently though my worst fears were confirmed. After noticing she was upset we set down to have a talk. She said,"I've been thinking, We're really young, are you ready for this? I mean, when i was at that party last night i realized, I'm never going to get to do stuff like this again. I'm just worried I'm missing out on things getting married so young. You're the only real boy friend I've had, I never got to experience dating other people. I've been with you for so long i don't even know what its like to not be with you. I really don't even know who i am." I wanted to be surprised but for some reason wasn't. I instantly shot back to high school remember myself and my own emotions, she being about the same age that i had started feeling almost exactly the same way. This conversation happened about 5 hours ago and lasted for quite a while. I now feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. She says she still wants to get married and she isn't backing out but I know she still has the "what if?" mentality. I know this is one of the main downfalls of high school sweetheart relationships, and I'm naturally a bit scared.
I want more than anything to make this relationship work. I know we can not have a happy and successful marriage if she is more worried about what she missed out on. Should we go to counseling? Is there anything i can do to help her or should i stay out of it? With the wedding 4 months away and my plans of joining the air force on the line I feel there is a lot of pressure to get this worked out. Please, any advise would be greatly appreciated. And thank you for taking the time to read this, i apologize for the lengthy writing.
Thanks again,
Nate in Colorado
