How can I ask a shy girl out when I'm getting mixed signals?

in Singles and Dating » Dating Tips and Advice • 3 years ago

There's this girl in my class I like but I think she's shy. I spoke to her once and I was doing all the talking; she just answered my questions. I was trying to get to know her but it was hard to keep the conversation going. She would smile / laugh when I said something funny and also give me eye contact until I returned it; then she would look down or away. A second time I spoke to her after class while walking and the same thing happened. I did all the talking and she just answered. She laughed at me when I said something funny and stopped walking as if to hold a conversation with me. I want to ask her out but it's hard to read her. I don't want to come across as a stalker or freak her out by any means. I approached her twice and she's always open to talk with me ( listen to me). I've gotten to the point I should leave her alone and move on but I really like her. I'm thinking if I approach her a third time, she's going to think I'm annoying and bothersome. Her answers to my questions sometime are long and she adds a little more information than what I asked. So it seems like she wants to talk but never asks me a question or strike up a conversation with me. What to do? Should I leave her a lone or keep trying with out looking like a weird annoying guy? When I seen her In class; she'll look away when I enter. Then look at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention to her.I saw her later during the week and she actually held a conversation with me. She spoke to me with out me having to ask her questions. She held a real conversation, I was so surprised. I like her a lot but I just don't know what coarse of action to take.:confused:

Replies(2)

arielle_d..

Don't Back Down

3 years ago

I used to be a shy girl and in some respects I still am, especially around handsome men that I have an interest in. I get tongue-tied and paranoid I'll say something completely foolish. It may be the same with this girl and may not even know what to say when you talk to her. Be observant and find things that she knows a lot about or is very interested in, find a subject she is passionate about and she'll be able to talk a lot more. Once she's more comfortable with you she'll talk a lot more.

To ask her out you may want to go slow, strike up a good conversation then ask her out. Another method may be to write her a letter... it may sound sillly and "grade school" though it may help take the pressure off if she's really that shy. Though regardless you should be very open and honest with her, eventually she'll come out of her shell.

kalimah25..

Re: How can I ask a shy girl out when I'm getting mixed signals?

2 years ago

If she's open to talk to you, the chances are she likes talking to you.

If she's shy, then it would make sense for her not to approach you or say an awful lot in conversations.

Your task is to get to know her better without coming on too strong. Maybe sit with her at lunch a few times if that's possible. Or next to her in class sometimes. Be part of her group or her partner in a project. Or even after class just approach her. It's good that you have talked to her a bit already and that you have a class together because you can always use the "what's the homework?" and the "do you understand this?"

Every small conversation and time spent around her will help her to feel more comfortable around you and at some point you can ask her to hang out with you outside of school a bit. Half her friends, half yours. And then work your way to just the two of you. If she's shy, you're going to want to take things a little slower than you usually would, but not too slow!

Also, try not to over analyze everything she does. It's a trap that we're all vulnerable to when we like someone, but must defend against.

:)