Ask Dan & Jennifer

firstly i wonder why she refuses? have you talked to her about it? if not i suggest you do with out trying to make it seem like your trying to convince her to have oral sex with you otherwise she'll probably shut you down. that way maybe if you knew why she's refusing you could find a way to get her into it.
if it's because of a fear or a bad experience in the past i'd say take your time. phobias and bad experiences are harder to overcome than just not wanting to try it. (non sexual example: i had a bad experience with a dog once and it took years before i wasn't afraid to be around one again.)

I used to have this problem with my husband (would not let him go down on me) and after we sat down and talked about it I realized that I didnt feel comfortable because I never felt completely clean enough for his mouth to be down there. It didnt even matter if I had just had a shower 10 minutes before hand. I always felt too dirty. So now if he is in the mood for oral we normally go into the shower or bath tub and I let him wash with a wash cloth before hand, which he uses as a type of foreplay as well.

My suggestion for you is to talk to her, find out why she is uncomfortable, and then go from there. Good luck.

hi...

i actually had this same problem before; as a matter of fact, sometimes i still do. some women thinks that certain sexual acts are "naughty" and "dirty". these are the women who would like to always be considered a lady and nothing less; however, in actuality, they sometimes love and enjoy these "naughty" and "dirty" acts (but they don't like to admit it, for fear of being considered something less of a lady).

talk to her and let her know that what goes on between you two is your business, nobody else. so you two are free to do any and everything to and with each other (so long as you both agree)... let her know that you won't see her any differently than the sexy "lady" that you married.

what you have to do is make her feel relax, comfortable and sexy. you can probably set the mood: start of with a nice bubble bath (that way she can feel confident in knowing that she's clean. some women are afraid of how they may smell down there); dim lights; slow music... etc. you pretty much have to perform a considerable amount of foreplay, to allow her to feel relax, comfortable, sexy and ready. let your eyes tell her that she's the most sexiest person in the world. place soft sweet kisses all over her body... and that's when you place kisses up her thighs and higher... but don't rush right into the oral sex... you just need to tease her with sweet kisses in that area. continue to reassure her that she's beautiful, she's sexy and that you want to experience a new level of ecstasy (while you're continuing to tease her with sweet kisses.

at some point, you can sneak your tongue in, to tease her clit. if she tries to stop you, make it seem as though you're begging her "not to deny herself the pleasure"... tell her to embrace it and enjoy it, because you're just focusing on her.

sometimes, my wife still says that it feels as though we were "dirty"... but in the end, she's able to reach a wonderful orgasm, have a peaceful and wonderful night's sleep, and wake up with a smile. it's worth it.

i hope all goes well with you.