Ask Dan & Jennifer

First, let me commend you for having the maturity to think about this in advance. It's vital you educate yourself about these matters before becoming sexually active.

In most states the local health department will usually give prescription birth control to minors without parental consent. You're going to have to go to the doctor, however. Doctor's really won't write prescriptions to someone who isn't there because they have to ask you history questions (Mainly about blood clots) and advise you on the health risks of the birth-control pills. Otherwise, they could be sued for malpractice and even lose their license. Most states allow doctor's to prescribe birth control without parental notification.

You do know that you have to be on them for a month before they're effective? Also, taking one after the fact won't prevent pregnancy. They have to be taken continuously.

Before choosing this method of birth control, make sure you're mature enough to take the pills every day.

There is an alternative method that is more effective. Depo Provera is an injection that prevents pregnancy for three months. That might be easier to maintain than pills because you don't have to worry about mom finding them.

You need to know that birth control pills and depo do not prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Also, while they are almost 100% effective, they are not quite 100% effective. Most people who get pregnant on the pill do so because they skip doses. However, a small number become pregnant taking them as prescribed. No medication is 100% effective.

thank you.

it sounds like i need to do some research on birth contraception pills and things. the depo option may be better, because i am usless at remembering things:D so i would likely forget to take the pills everyday. you've definatly helped me lots, and for that i cant thank you enough. my next move is going to be research, lots of research:D

thank you so much agian beagle

venus

id like to comment on you saying that he didnt want to wear a condom... but you also said he had respect for you. if he truely respects you then he should be willing to sacrifice the "100% real feeling" for the protection a condom offers at least for the time being until you can get on birth control and get that first month under your belt.

also, hiding that you want to be on the pill may not be the best course of action. there is always the random possibility that they could accidentally find them. you may want to consider talking to your family about it just so they dont go insane on you if that should happen. on the plus side, if you do approach them about this in a mature manner then maybe they will see that you are trying to be mature and protect yourself for when the time does come :D parents tend to like that kind of stuff ;)

and also, you may want to think about telling them you have a boyfriend. trying to hide it will get harder and harder as time goes by. but then again that goes into the question of your age, because you shouldnt be thinking about sex and boys if youre too young :)

and lastly, another reason you may want to consider talking to them is because you should get your HPV shots before coming sexually active. its the most common STD around today and most people dont even realize they have it before they give it to somebody else. if you start having sex, then go to get your shots later, its a total waste of time because they wont do any good.

just a thought :D

Well, its both of us that dont want to use a condom, but we will if we have to.

the reason I would rather hide it is because my parents are rather old-fashioned and they believe in marriage before sex also their strongly against any type of prevention/protection, whereas im the opposite and i dont want to have to face the subject of pregnancy and my boyfriend is the same, but if they found out i want to go on the pill or even have sex before marriage, they would probably disown me or not speak to me again. Also my parents dont like my boyfriend, when i first meet him which was three years ago i introduced him to them and they took an instance disliking cause hes older than me by 5years, and they think i broke up with him. so i cant exactly say im still going out with him. as for my age im 19 and my boyfriend is 24.

Originally posted by: venus21
Well, its both of us that dont want to use a condom, but we will if we have to.

the reason I would rather hide it is because my parents are rather old-fashioned and they believe in marriage before sex also their strongly against any type of prevention/protection, whereas im the opposite and i dont want to have to face the subject of pregnancy and my boyfriend is the same, but if they found out i want to go on the pill or even have sex before marriage, they would probably disown me or not speak to me again. Also my parents dont like my boyfriend, when i first meet him which was three years ago i introduced him to them and they took an instance disliking cause hes older than me by 5years, and they think i broke up with him. so i cant exactly say im still going out with him. as for my age im 19 and my boyfriend is 24.

I agree with a lot of what has been said. You're 19, so your parents don't need to know, and that's that. It'd be good if you could talk to them about it, but if you really feel you can't, then don't try too hard.

As said, most health departments can provide free or low-cost birth control, especially since your over 18. You can also look for a local Planned Parenthood, or head to a local OB/GYN and see what they can do for you (specifically request they not mention it to your parents if they come by, it's your right as a patient).

Do make sure to look up your options, but also remember that everything works differently for different people. It might take a few different attempts to find the right one.
If you can't remember to take things on time, either set an alarm to go off at the SAME time every day, or try one of the shots or insertions (not an IUD). About 1/2 of all unplanned pregnancies last year happened while the woman was ON birth control, you don't want to be one of those. I know several people who've gotten pregnant like that.

Also, on that note, if you've never had sex, then you can't really know the difference between having sex with or without a condom. Really, it's not a big deal. There is a difference, but just barely. Don't diss them. I use them every time I have sex even though I've been on birth control for 3 years and take my pill at exactly 11 am every day. I know you say you both don't want them, but you have to ask yourself why why why? Make sure it's a really good reason from both of you.

I think I sound a little pretentious here, so I'm gonna stop... Really, it's all about you guys. You're doing good so far! Look up your options, where you can go nearby, what you can get, how you can get it. You're an adult now, these are your choices to make, be smart about them.

Oh, one more thing! The privacy thing you mentioned...it seems a little odd. It's nice that he doesn't want to intrude, but I think you should make it clear that this is a decision for both of you. It's not only you you're watching out for by taking this medication, and since he's also against condoms, you're partially doing this for him too. (It'd also be nice if he'd help pay for them, the prices can add up, and like I said, they're for his benefit too)
Personally, I think it's extremely important for guys to be involved in birth control and the like, because it does have to do with them.

Good luck!
~Sin

My boyfriend has had sex before and he says condoms are uncomfortable for him. I am still a virgin so i dont know what to expect in terms of using a condom so the main reason for noting wanting to use one is for my boyfriends comfort.

No, you are being really helpful:) thank you. I have spoken to my boyfriend about him being a little less funny about the privacy, but i think the truth is he doesnt really want to know any details because he gets uncomfortable about it. hes happy to help pay and everything he just doesnt want to know details or help me make a decision. I do agree with your opinion on guys having more to do with the subject.

Thank you
Venus