How do I get over my boyfriends past mistakes?

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 2 years ago

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 years. About 2 months ago, he broke up with me because we were constantly fighting about little things. A week before we broke up, he was texting an old girl friend, and during the time we were broken up( which was about a week) he hung out with her. The night that we broke up he invited her over to watch movies, and tried kissing her. A week later after not talking, we saw each other at a party and he begged and cried for me to get back with him. We got back together, then a week later got into a fight and he broke up with me again. During that time he tried talking to the girl once again, but they did not hang out. A couple days later he came back to me, but I didnt take him back right away. We are now after a month completely back together. I told him that I wanted to know about the girl, and what he did with her. He admitted that he hid the text messages from me before we broke up, but he did not break up with me for her, and that he just wanted someone to talk to that didn't know our situation. They never slept together, and when he tried kissing her she turned away, so they never did anything sexually. I know all of the truth, but now I cannot get it out of my head. The thing that hurts the most is that he lied to me about talking to her in the first place. I know it wasn't cheating because we were broken up at the time, but all I think about is if he liked her better then me, and why he went to her. He has apologized to me numerous times, and told me that he regrets ever talking to her, and breaking up with me in the first place. I know that he is being sincere, but all I worry about now is him lying to me again. All I do is accuse him now of lying, and it is hurting our relationship and pushing him away even more. I have chose to forgive him, now how do I forget about it and move on and make our relationship better?

Replies(2)

Xero

Re: How do I get over my boyfriends past mistakes?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Aleciak123
all I think about is if he liked her better then me, and why he went to her.

I think the source of the problem is this, if you haven't already at least tell him how you feel about this. Make sure you sit down with no distractions in a nice place to talk. Tell him almost this "I know I keep bothering you about this I'm truly sorry but, all I think about is if you liked your ex more than me. I know that's probably not true, but I have some issues with it can you shed some light on it?"

Something like that would be good to discuss and reinforce your relationship again. I would suggest and discuss the possibility of you two being completely open with each other keeping little to no secret. I know its impossible to keep a few things secret. But at least try your best not to, if its not already happening try to monitor each other's text messages. I truly don't know how hard that is because me and my GF don't text at all we got some old junk phones.

Hopefully this gives you a good idea on how to fix things, if you want a more specific answer just ask.

nova_danj..

Re: How do I get over my boyfriends past mistakes?

2 years ago

If it was me, I wouldn't even be together with the person who violated my trust in the first place. He has obviously lied to you before you two broke up the first time and now you're saying you're back together. Does he know the fact that you're worried about the fact that he will lie to you/cheat on you again? If he does, and he hasn't confronted you first about this, then I really don't see why you should be together with him again. If he knows what he did was wrong, then he has the responsibility to do what he should to make you not have doubts about him again.