Ask Dan & Jennifer

Ask him how he wants to be loved and check if you two are compatible.

One thing I've noticed about my friends and I, is that if we don't found a chick hot enough, we're not interested in a long-term relationship. And when we do find a chick hot enough, we tell each other about it.

This is one of the harsh realities of male sexuality.

Umm.. I want to be loved for my personality mainly, but I'm really sensative so it bothers me when he finds other girls prettier or anything.

We've talked about what we want in our relationship, he mainly wants a loving relationship with someone who loves him just as much as he loves me. He says he doesn't care about looks, and that I make him the happiest man alive.. What else.. once, he asked to stop having a sexual relationship so we could talk more and such.

He also has a slight brain disorder, which makes him think differently then most people. I think that's one reason who he doesn't care about looks as much..

Also, I've become friends with his best friend Shane, and he says that Erik [my boyfriend] is head over heels for me and talks a lot about me.

Is that slight brain disorder possibly autism, specifically Asperger's disorder? People with Asperger's often tell the literal truth without an awareness of it's impact on the other person, whereas most of us would say "Now, you know there's no one prettier than you."

If that is the case, I think the best thing to do would be to just let the remark about the other girls being prettier slide. If most guys said that, I would say they were sending you a message. People with Asperger's don't imply things. If he has Asperger's, or another condition of the autistic spectrum, then that remark was just a statement of fact and nothing more. (I presume you don't actually think you are the prettiest girl in the world. :cool:)

Beagle- Thank you. ^^ He's very truthful and sweet.
And yeah, I think that's what he has if I remember correctly.
That actully makes me feel a lot better though..

It's mostly likely he loves me for me and not my body then? I hope soo..

I see and hear people in relationships (not just bf/gf, but also married couples) talk about how hot/sexy other people are in the presence of their significant other. Usually, they're referring to celebrities. Don't tell me there aren't other men out there that you thought weren't good looking when you were out with your bf.

YourEternalRest- Yeah, I knoww... ><
But no, I actully don't find anyone else attractive. It's how I am, so I usally get hurt when they don't feel the same way.
Once I fall in complete love with someone, everyone else is unattractive, it's just how my mind works. I mean yeah, I'll call my guy friends cute, but they all know it's the kind when you call a baby cute kind of thing.

Unless he starts to cheat on your or say he's going to break up with you for these other prettier girls, I don't think you need to worry about it.

Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better.. ><

there will ALWAYS be a woman more beautiful than you,more hot than you and more attractive than you.....and compound it with the fact that everyones idea of beauty varies.its a mess.....i dont think a man should tell his woman she isnt the most beautiful in the world to him.....yeah we know its bullshit but we want to hear it anyhow....id ask him to look up the word tact and try to use it......this will go a long way in many areas of his life

Id watch more how a guy acts rather then what they say. We are cavemen you know!?

Does he hug you, slap your bum, play, joke and enjoy your company, talk about you to his friends, want to do hang out often, calls you? If so then you have a good "catch".

Calls me when he he has the chance, cuddles me, kisses me softly, always gets happy around me, talks to me around his friends, holds my hand, wraps his arms around me, rubs my back.. you get the point. >< And we joke around sometimes to, but he doesn't slap my bum, cause he knows I don't like that.

No bum smacks!! Aww you made me cry. More of a light slap.. Mmm anyway back on track... :p

Sounds like a great guy. Im starting to see why you love him so much. He also seem the type you need to either shock or force to do something (or change). I could be wrong but Im just thinking of past experiences and how to solve them.

One way of changing him is to stop the sex all together. This might be extreme but also a little fun. Act day to day as normal but wear sexy cloths and tease him when possible (tops that show cleavage, tight pants, sucking a lollipop etc).

No matter what dont have "noogie". If he does something you like then let him continue. As soon as he does something you dont like stop all together. Make an excuse if you have too. Slap his hands and walk off without reason.

This could take some time but he should get the point eventually. A man can only take so much. The point is to make him learn what is good and what is bad. If he expects to jump on you and do his thing right away then this HAS to stop.

Just make sure when he does something right he knows about it very clearly. Be it with sound or grabbing his butt. "Oh yeah baby" works wonders.

Listen to me, I sound like Dr Love!! Scary. :rolleyes:

We haven't had sex yet, only oral.. but yeah. And he actually suggested stopping sex once, so we could talk more in our relationship. He's very sweet and caring, and sometimes says things without thinking. He also has a brain disorder.. autistic. It makes him see, think, feel, and hear differently, it's only mild though, and isn't to much of a big deal or anything.

I don't really need to force him into anything, if he upsets me in some way I'll just ask him not to mention that again, and he won't, then apologizes about hurting me, and tries making it better some how.
We talk a lot in our relationship, so we pretty much know whatever is goingon with each other, The good and the bad.

We're i a long distance relationship, so we don't see each other ever day, but talk on the phone, and msn as much as we can.

Thank you for your help. ^^

In what was being said i agree that you have to watch what the guy does. If hes in it just for the "fun" or if hes really into your pesonality more. Tease him a little but not to much. Just test to see if hes more of a guy who is into sexual things or into romantic things.

When you see him tel him you love him and look into his eyes. For when he sais it back he should do the same! And dont be fooled by the glimmer in his eyes. look deeper, and youll find if he truly does love you.

He is caring. And he said that he didnt want to do anything sexual. So thats a +.

I think it's ok, because he tells you that, so, i think he is open and honest to you.
If you feel kind of uncomfortable. Just ask yourself these questions:
Does he respect you? Does he care for you? Does he accept what you say and reasons for saying them? Does he put your wishes ahead of his own appropriately?