Ask Dan & Jennifer

Clueless: Obviously, you have reason to be concerned. If you think his anger is escalating to the point that you are in danger, you should seek the services of a battered women's shelter. However, I gather that isn't the case, so I'm going to take a different approach.

It sounds like he's taking advantage of the fact that you don't have anywhere to go. I gather he's using that as an excuse to mentally abuse you. The first step you need to take is to become able to support yourself financially. You need to get a job.

Before you become dependent on a man, it's important to consider the character of the man you're becoming dependent on. "A little power is a dangerous thing." Some people, when they come into some power, let it go to their head and use it to control and belittle others. That's what's happening here. And I use the word "power" deliberately because that's what it is when you have no way to support yourself.

The only long-term solution for you is to become able to meet your basic needs on your own. Then, if you decide to stay it's your choice, not because you "have to."

If you decide you are serious about getting out, then there are agencies that can help you get on your feet. I kind of suspect you're not at that point yet though. No one can change your life until you're willing to take action. It's time to begin taking responsibility for yourself.

I fully agree with Beagle's advice... Buuuut, as that shouldn't be my whole post, I'll do my own little take on it, too.

In my opinion, you should leave... The relationship doesn't seem healthy, and I'm sure, if you've managed to maintain friendships through his controlling nature, a friend would be willing to take you in temporarily. (My mom was in a similar...ish, situation with my dad where he was controlling to the point where he controlled the friends right away from her, which is what that comment was about.) But yeah, I firmly agree you should go about getting a job... Which is more complicated than it seems in this economy, but give it a shot. Depending on where you live you might have an easier time than other places. To get a job I might suggest looking at employment agencies, they can get you temp jobs, at least. Some places will even hire you permanently after a while. But it's important to remember you're not stupid, dear.

Even if you don't end up leaving him for whatever reason, having a job would probably help you gain more confidence and you'd be able to buy things that you want... More financial freedom for both of you, at least a little bit. I hope everything works out for you!
(Hopefully this all makes sense.. I'm quite tired, and keep looking back to make sure I'm making sense, but it's not quite working.)