how do i know if im ready for sex?

in Sex and Intimacy » Sex Tips and Advice • 2 years ago

dear Dan and Jen,
I'm 16, the legal age of consent in my state and i recently got out of a relationship with a boy who kept pressuring me for sex. the thing is, i had been planing on sleeping with him, but had set a time limit and disscused this with him. the fact that he kept pushing pissed me of and made me withdraw from him even more, after two days of this he called me to say he was back with his ex and they had sex, not for the first time. i have to wonder if i'm just a cold fish, or am i right that he was wrong. i feel like im ready for sex, but i don't want to lose it to a jerk and think that the guy should prove himself through patience. am i really ready? or am i just forceing myself into something i dont want? :(

Replies(3)

Xero

Re: how do i know if im ready for sex?

2 years ago

In the end you did the right thing.

Waiting is sort of key when you want to lose it to someone special and right. You are not wrong in wanting it nor in not giving it up.

The wanting is just natural hormone function of teenagers. You may want it physically but you may not be totally ready, as i see you are wondering if you truly are. If you ask me the answer is no, but you alone make that decision in the end if you are ready. Your ex/bf should have waited until you are ready. He was wrong to pressure you.

I don't think you are forcing your self. I think you just need to think about what you want and how it can affect your life. Just make the decisions that are right for you. I'm not saying have sex nor be abstinent for the rest of your life. It's your decision and you should do what you see fit, and don't be pressured by anyone. BTW I'm 19 and my GF is 17 for 4 more days. We still have yet to have sex and are in a 1yr 2mo relationship. I understand where you are coming from.

CallMeCur..

Have patience.

2 years ago

Sex is one of those magical things that, when asked what time is good to try it, has many answers. It is personal, the decision lying on your shoulders. Yet, do not rely just on your physical wants...you will be confused. Hormones will urge your forward, but in reality people are not mentally mature enough to be sexually active until their early twenties.

16 may be the legal age in your state, but I think not giving in to your ex's pressures was the best thing you could have done. You have so many years to grow and mature, to better comprehend what that act would entail.

On another note...You were right, he was wrong. It sounds to me that boy did not respect you, both because of his persistence in what you had already told him no to, and in turning to someone else to get just that in spite of your "time limit."

You are not a cold fish. One of my dearest friends told me "Make him earn everything you give." And that, my friend, is something quite costly that any boy will need to work for. Sex is something special, not to be hastily given away. I hope that helped, please keep us updated! (through here or pm)

ellie_in_..