Ask Dan & Jennifer

I had something like this happen to me about 2 years ago. I ended up at an Xmas party where one of my sisters old friends was. I hadn't seen her in years, but we remembered each other from years past. I got her email address (I think I told her about a joke I had recently gotten via email and told her I could add her to my joke email list, which was real...and a great way to get chicks emails), and eventually phone number, and then we started dating a little. We kept our relationship quiet from everyone, because neither of us wanted it to get weird with our families. A couple weeks later when she went psycho and wanted to get married, I was REALLY happy we had kept it quiet!!

Moral: approach her innocently, get her personal info for something other than to date her, find something in common and see if she wants to join...and if it progresses keep it quiet as long as you can :). Good luck!

HTH...

Originally posted by: spaniard
I had something like this happen to me about 2 years ago. I ended up at an Xmas party where one of my sisters old friends was. I hadn't seen her in years, but we remembered each other from years past. I got her email address (I think I told her about a joke I had recently gotten via email and told her I could add her to my joke email list, which was real...and a great way to get chicks emails), and eventually phone number, and then we started dating a little. We kept our relationship quiet from everyone, because neither of us wanted it to get weird with our families. A couple weeks later when she went psycho and wanted to get married, I was REALLY happy we had kept it quiet!!

Moral: approach her innocently, get her personal info for something other than to date her, find something in common and see if she wants to join...and if it progresses keep it quiet as long as you can :). Good luck!

HTH...

Thank you for the advice, although iv been talking to her via msn for a long time now. And its reasuring to hear that you went out with your sisters friend. But basicly i'm not sure, after going past the getting to know her bit, how to tell her how i feel.

I've got to agree with Spaniard on this one. The fastest way to torpedo a relationship is to proclaim your undying love for someone before they're ready to hear it. That's where the real world differs from Romeo and Juliet. You need to just be around, and be likable. If you have to wonder if it's time to tell her about your feelings, it's not. When the time is right, you'll know. She'll send you signals.

Part of dating is learning to read the signals. Girls generally know what you're going to say before you say it. A lot of times, if they know the "I love you" is coming, and they don't want to hear that yet, they'll change the subject quickly. The best way to avoid mistakes is to focus on observing the other person, and really hearing what they have to say. If you focus on what you want to say, you'll miss the subtle cues. If you just observe, you'll know when it's time to talk about your feelings. It sounds like things are going your way now. You can't rush the development of feelings, anymore than you can force a rose to open before its time.

The first step in developing a relationship is to get your foot in the door with a girl, and you've done that. At this point in a relationship, the best thing is to do things together, be low pressure, and just be irresistibly likable. You need to get a copy of Amazon.com: Love Tactics: How to Win the One You Want: Thomas W. McKnight, Robert H. Phillips: Books It has a lot of details on how to avoid shooting yourself in the foot with the opposite sex.

Originally posted by: Beagle
I've got to agree with Spaniard on this one. The fastest way to torpedo a relationship is to proclaim your undying love for someone before they're ready to hear it. That's where the real world differs from Romeo and Juliet. You need to just be around, and be likable. If you have to wonder if it's time to tell her about your feelings, it's not. When the time is right, you'll know. She'll send you signals.

Part of dating is learning to read the signals. Girls generally know what you're going to say before you say it. A lot of times, if they know the "I love you" is coming, and they don't want to hear that yet, they'll change the subject quickly. The best way to avoid mistakes is to focus on observing the other person, and really hearing what they have to say. If you focus on what you want to say, you'll miss the subtle cues. If you just observe, you'll know when it's time to talk about your feelings. It sounds like things are going your way now. You can't rush the development of feelings, anymore than you can force a rose to open before its time.

The first step in developing a relationship is to get your foot in the door with a girl, and you've done that. At this point in a relationship, the best thing is to do things together, be low pressure, and just be irresistibly likable. You need to get a copy of Amazon.com: Love Tactics: How to Win the One You Want: Thomas W. McKnight, Robert H. Phillips: Books It has a lot of details on how to avoid shooting yourself in the foot with the opposite sex.

Thank you for the advice :).