Ask Dan & Jennifer

Judy: Marriage counselors vary as much as the general public regarding attitudes. Our job is symptom relief and increased happiness and wellbeing, not to judge your lifestyle.Any counselor has a responsibility to help you accomplish your goals, not to tell you how to live your life. They way to handle that is just to ask "Are you comfortable working with a couple who swings?" I've never been uncomfortable dealing with the issue personally, and I'd say most aren't.

If someone came to me wanting help with an issue that I felt violated my moral values, I would have an obligation to refer them to someone who could work with them on that issue. Believe me, you're not going to offend a counselor. We've heard it all.

The best way is just to be very upfront about what you're looking for. Lord knows, there is plenty of business for all of us so no counselor should have a problem with saying he's not the right choice.

One thing to consider is make sure you find a counselor who is knowledgeable about the issue you (or whomever) is wanting help with. If your issue is specific to swinging, then you would obviously need a counselor who knew about that lifestyle. For example, I don't treat eating disorders. I don't have any negative opinions or feelings about eating disorders; I'm just not trained in them. It's a counselor's ethical responsibility to make sure he or she can responsibly meet the needs of the client and to make appropriate referrals elsewhere if he can't.

B. You are the TOP !