Ask Dan & Jennifer

Let me put it this way, would you rather risk it all and end up with nothing, or keep what you have and be happy?

From your post, I'm not sure if you're thinking of leaving your current relationship for the other person or if you're considering some form of open relationship.

Whatever you do, don't cheat. That leaves scars on people that last a lifetime.

If you're very happy with where you're at now, stay where you are. Once you lose that feeling of happiness, it is extremely difficult to come by it again. Happiness isn't something to be taken for granted.

No, I would definitely not leave my current relationship. I only feel sexually attracted to this other person. I would not want any more than that. I am happy in all areas of my current relationship. It's just a sexual curiosity with this person. And, like I said, I don't even know if they feel the same way.

Originally posted by: Suzie Q
No, I would definitely not leave my current relationship. I only feel sexually attracted to this other person. I would not want any more than that. I am happy in all areas of my current relationship. It's just a sexual curiosity with this person. And, like I said, I don't even know if they feel the same way.

You are entering an area where many people find total happiness and many find total disaster. Like Xero said, you're risking everything when you pursue a "swinging" arrangement. I personally know of three marriages that ended because of swinging experiences gone awry. If you decide to proceed, you need to educate yourself thoroughly on what you are getting into. And, talking with your partner, not the other person, is the way to proceed. This shouldn't proceed until you and (s)he are in total agreement on boundaries. I would recommend watching some of Dan and Jennifer's videos. I discovered them when I had been invited to swing by some coworkers and was educating myself on what I was getting into. I decided it wasn't for me. I live in a mid-sized city and I have no desire to have my personal life become the hottest topic in town.

I understand what you are saying, but I don't want to swing, I just wonder about a one-night stand with this person because it is only a sexual attraction. I want nothing more from them and nothing further. Therefore, I don't even want my partner to know because I know it would end our relationship. I'm asking is this wrong for me to feel this way or even wonder if I should pursue it?

You can think about it and wonder all you want. But if you pursue it you can ruin everything.

Thinking about I think can just make you feel holes in your current relationship that cannot be fulfilled. Which is nothing good to have, so I think it's better to forget about it and move on.

After reading your question and seeing what everyone else has written. I do believe you must leave this behind and keep it to yourself.

If you see your relationship is starting to failand everything has been tried and cannot clear whats ever causing your trouble. Then by all means pursue what you are asking. Just make sure of yourself and those involved.

Do you want to be a lady or the girl who stabs a trusting partner in the back? Yes, it's wrong. Yes, you should drop it. If you can't then be a lady and break it off with your partner before pursing this. Going behind his back is just plain wrong and your partner deserves better.

Originally posted by: Suzie Q
I understand what you are saying, but I don't want to swing, I just wonder about a one-night stand with this person because it is only a sexual attraction. I want nothing more from them and nothing further. Therefore, I don't even want my partner to know because I know it would end our relationship. I'm asking is this wrong for me to feel this way or even wonder if I should pursue it?

Because that would be cheating.