Ask Dan & Jennifer

Originally posted by: omegatempest3313
all I hear is practice practice practice, but is there any other way? Maybe I'm trying to surprise my partner. So is there any way to get good at sex without practicing or what?

Sure. And you're right. Practice without knowing what you're doing is an exercise in frustration (and mediocre sex). Sure, practice makes perfect, but there is also something to be said for learning what to do first, and then practicing to get better at what you learned.

So yes, there are definitely ways to get "better" at sex, depending of course on what you mean by that. Do you want to better please your lover? Is your lover a woman?

If so... let's focus on the issue most women cite about their sex life... not enough attention by their man to her needs. Seriously, an incredible number of women have never ever truly experienced an orgasm, and many have one for every few dozen their man has.

Focusing on her needs and really giving her pleasure is probably the most important thing you could do to really enhance your sex life.

To learn what to do - how to find her G Spot, how to give her a clitoral orgasm, a G Spot orgasm, where to begin,etc, there's a guide we very strongly recommend you check out, called the Female Orgasm Black Book.

It's written by Lee Jenkins, who we are fortunate enough to have as one of our featured authors here in the forums. Check out our review here.

And on a related topic, many women also really enjoy receiving oral sex, i.e. oral sex performed ON THEM, not just by them with their man receiving.

If that's something you would consider, there's a great guide written by our friend (and Oprah love expert) Michael Webb called Lick by Lick - read our review here.

It's amazing how many women just "give" during sex, which is at the root of so many relatioship problems today. Inn fact you hear about women faking an orgasm, just because they want to "get it over with". That's really sad.

You want to surprise her? Nothing like a triple orgasm evening to show her you care, and incidentally also get her in a very "giving" mood.

As far as practice makes perfect, this may be true in other aspects of life, but I feel differently. Doctors and lawyers call their jobs "practice" and this is because both fields are constantly changing and they have to continue to readjust their approach to different situations... Same with sex... there is no perfect endpoint... What makes someone happy sexually one night might even be a turn off the next night. There are so many things to affect a persons sexual turn ons and turn offs... maybe a movie or tv show they saw that day, or a magazine article they read... etc, you get the point... so sexual pleasure is a changing thing from day to day, and even moment to moment within one lovemaking session... I think the practice itself is the fun part. Learning the different things that makes your partner happy, and feeling out the different ways to change it up to really make it fun. Also, constantly striving to make your partner happy is fun.. you may discover you have a new talent! :)

If you talk about things you do and dont like you wont waste energy on doing things they do enjoy and youll get better at they like. You'll also learn things they want to try.

I've been together with my girlfrend for almost an yer , time comes wenn u sex ,but my question would be - how should i look into having it first time i dont want to make her unsatisfied becouse if i dont do it good should i do in gentle or *Wild* :confused: ?

Well true, practice , practice, practice is what makes it better...still here are some more stuf you can find helpfull:
1) build a absolute genuin, loving relationship with your partner. That will make you both feel better in your skin and more relaxed = better sex
2) read, read, read...internet, books, erotic stories. Get inspired by what others do and try things out. (sometimes even wathching XXX films can help). You can get ideas about places, possitions, techniques, everything.
3) try to be very sensitiv to what your partner needs, likes, wants. Usually the more mutual sex is the better it is.
And really when it comes to first time, i guess gentle is a better start, but maybe the best thing to do is to talk to yourg girlfriend, or see what are the things she enjoys...maybe try out, experiment always paying attention how she reacts. Good communicatin brings good sex.
Well this is what I could add here. Good luck. :-)

Originally posted by: Josh in Copenhagen
I've been together with my girlfrend for almost an yer , time comes wenn u sex ,but my question would be - how should i look into having it first time i dont want to make her unsatisfied becouse if i dont do it good should i do in gentle or *Wild* :confused: ?

you know her better than we do. But I'll chose the gentle one because i enjoy petting