Ask Dan & Jennifer

As a last ditch effort I suggest you get in touch with your local kink community. There are several directories on the net which tell you how to get in touch with the community near you. Write them. Introduce yourself and get invited to a munch or similar activity. A munch is a get together of kinksters in a public vanilla setting. This is one way people outside the scene, but who are interested, meet people in the scene and everyone can decide if it's a good idea for a new person or couple to get involved. The kinksters are not going to judge you. They will be frank about what goes on in the scene and this will be a great way for your lady to learn a little about what really goes on. Frankly, as kink educator myself, I do not recommend BDSM porn movies as most of the ones produced in west are not a good example of a healthy real BDSM consensual relationship.

If this doesn't warm her up to kink then you should end the relationship. From what you say she is very close minded about sex and you should only waste so much of your time and effort trying to open her up. You would be more happy with another kinkster and she would be more happy with another vanilla.