Ask Dan & Jennifer

Men will agree to almost anything during the act of sex. She could present it as a fantasy during lovemaking and see how he responds. If she would like to bring in another woman he is more likely to respond positively to that.

Get a book or article on the subject, let him see you reading it, and leave it lying around. Curiosity will kill the cat. When he asks about it, just tell him you were curious, which is true.

I sent the link to this forum post to my wife, and she had this to say...

"Be blunt. That's what I did, how else would I have done it?"

It's true, she did. It was very blunt, but she had already dealt with the possibility that I would have said, NO. That is what you need to think. I would just pose the question with a serious look in your eyes and be prepared for the oncoming debate. Yes, there will be debate. However, at that point its not going to be a short conversation and it shouldn't be resolved easily. For the first part of the conversation, don't concentrate on the who, what, and where... work on the why.

Why do you want to swing? Why, are you unhappy? Why, are you bored?

Because WHY? It will be FUN!

Take your time, discuss the options and maybe get aroused by the idea. That is the result you will be looking for.

Now, if you prefer the subtle approach, then by all means go for it. However, once your husband gets your drift, he might be insulted or even suspicious of something else. Jealousy and honesty are tied tightly together, so I see the honest route as the best route to take.

Good Luck!

OverKnight

We are men, just tell us what you are thinking.
Be ready to explain why you feel / want the things you do. I reacted very negitively when my wife first brought it up.
It's something that you will really need to talk through, you come face to face with a lot of insecurities at first.
The key to it all is communication

Tankman raises a very good point. Are you communicating with him like you would with a woman? Men are notorious for not responding to hints and suggestions. Women often think they've been clear and we're clueless.

The only downside to asking "Have you ever thought about swinging?" is that he may have a negative sterotype from the media. Accurate information is the best way to combat this. Have you considered showing him this website?

I Suggest a little role playing where you pretend he's someone different. Play a little trampy and act out one of YOUR fantasies as if you're being taken by someone else..."what would my husband say if he knew you were doing this to me.." Gauge his reaction. Sharing your intimate fantasy with him is a great way to break the ice, and let him know what a wonderfully sexy wife he has. If positive reaction than suggest maybe a real life event.Ask who would HE pick as a lover for you, who could he imagine would do you if they could. who would YOU pick for you...for him?...fun and games!

Okay...you have gotten a lot of good advice...here's my two cents for whatever it is worth. First remember that he will respond according to his view of swinging or the view that he thinks he should have (yep, he may have thought of it and decided it was "bad" or even "evil" if he was raised that way). That's fine, just be aware that there are lots of reasons that we respond the way we do.

Second, sitting down and opening the discussion to fantasies is a great way to do it. You don't have to start out with swinging, but feel out each other's fantasies. Make sure that you are open for whatever he comes up with. Not that you have to jump on things, but that you don't give faces or negative remarks about his fantasies. Tell him about your desire to swing. Or at least your curiosity.

A good swing relationship works because there is tons of communication. That's what you need to do. Open up the communication and talk and talk some more. Don't stop talking.

Then it can be fun to add fantasies like the one above. He may be very turned on by being the man who gives you away and takes you home at the end of it (my man is).

Whatever you do, find a way to start talking and make sure you don't stop!
Dani