I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

in Singles and Dating » Dating Tips and Advice • 2 years ago

ok im going to be straight up and completely honest cause i need to get this off my chest, im 16, decently good looking, but i lack confidence which is why I rarely approach girls, but when they do approach me I lack social skills while im talking to them. Theres many times when there is awkward silence and i cant think of the right things to say to keep her interested and keep her smiling in the conversation and therefore she looses interested in me.

I have never had a girlfriend in my life and i feel like such an idiot cause i have lost the opportunity to go out with some nice and good looking girls because i lack confidence and social skills

What do I do to help my situation, I have been feeling very sad and depressed and I am about ready to give up

Replies(8)

Xero

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

For confidence try talking to your self in the mirror, or go to the GYM and lift weights if that is an option for you.

Don't think it as a relationship think of it as just another friend. If you think of a relationship you are going to get choked up and not able to think of anything to talk about. Just talk about every day things. Ask about their opinions on things and pay attention to what they say.

Don't even feel bad about not having a girlfriend. I know the media, and everything else shows that it's normal to have one at this age. I didn't get a girlfriend until last November, and that was when I was 18.

Remember their just as nervous as you probably.

andysher

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

thanks for replying, thinking about being in a relationship might be bringing me down, so thats one thing I will work on.
I have heard that confidence will come in time and as you get older, is that true? but almost all of my friends have had at least one girlfriend before, so I feel like im really behind, which makes me want a girlfriend even more

Xero

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

I think getting confidence in older years is partly true, that's because you see more of the world around you than you did before.

I think the best way is to talk to a girl that your just friends with. Someone who you can talk to normally and you know its going to go no where. But then again maybe they'll be special for you. You could also talk to your self in the mirror to gain confidence.

nova_danj..

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: AndySher
but almost all of my friends have had at least one girlfriend before, so I feel like im really behind, which makes me want a girlfriend even more

I think the real problem you're having is this as opposed to what you said in your initial post. A relationship isn't meant to be a competition and I would encourage you to stop thinking that it is before you try doing anything else.

andysher

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: YourEternalRest
I think the real problem you're having is this as opposed to what you said in your initial post. A relationship isn't meant to be a competition and I would encourage you to stop thinking that it is before you try doing anything else.

Ya i agree with you, but I read on a guys post and he said that he was 18 when he got his first girlfriend, but by that time he said that he never had any experience with women so he got dumped 2 weeks later and it continued with other women after that. im getting pretty freaked out cause only 2 more years and im 18

Xero

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

It's different for every person. It depends on how the girl is treating you and how you are treating her. That makes a relationship last, you both need to give it some effort if you don't then its going to end.

I can say for a fact that doesn't happen for all 18 year old's. I started my first relationship when I was 18 and its lasted now for 8 months.

You just need to get out the negative thoughts out of your head. Their going to get you no where and their going to make you fear things more so your not going to try new things. You may get hurt here and there it's just how things are. Yo just got to work through the difficulties and move on.

shadow_wo..

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

I think that you shouldn't try to push too fast for a relationship. I myself got my first relationship in May almost two years ago when I was 18 and my relationship is still going strong. Just don't think about it as something you have to have right away. Like the others said try thinking of it as a friend to hang out with and not a relationship, sometimes thinking about it that way can make it alot easier.

By the way just so you know I am the same way you are when it comes to being social. you don't have to be a social butterfly to have get into a relationship.

cherub_da..

Re: I Am A Loner!! Whats wrong with me?

2 years ago

Love comes to those who believes and wait, hurrying something would cause only problems, every thing in this world have their perfect timing. Don't be too envy with your friends for the e perfect girl you are looking for will com at the right time, well you can start for searching for her but before that you must be confident about yourself