Ask Dan & Jennifer

I want to thank you for publishing this story. It may help someone else who has the impulse to "follow the crowd." I'm not sure there is a lot you can do at this point. It sounds like you've let him know how you feel, but he's moved on. At this point, all you can do is accept that. I know it hurts, but you have to respect his wishes right now. Who knows what could happen if they break up!

I'm sorry this happened and I understand how you feel now. I'm never good at expressing my feelings myself, but i think you should at least let him know how you feel and why you broke up in the first place.

i doubt that will make him change his mind but at least you won't have regrets later. it seems to me that this boy has made up his mind to be with this other girl. anyway you're both really young. i think you need to take your mind off it for a while, and then move on to somebody else. I really hope you can be happy

I have told him everything.. I have cried, made videos of pictures, letters after letters.. nothing works.. 4 years i feel like are gone.. i just feel empty like in disbelief :(

The end of a relationship is like going through withdrawal. Actually, there are pretty good studies showing that a breakup is physically a withdrawal process. When we are in love, our body produces chemicals that act like morphine in the body. They are called endorphins. When we go through a breakup, our entire body responds. People with arthritis often find that it improves because their immune system has partially shut down due to the grief. People either gain or lose 10-15% of their body weight. I lost 15 lbs after my last breakup.

This is obviously your first love, and it feels like you're going to hurt this way forever. It takes a long time, but you do eventually feel better. To get through something like this, you have to keep reminding yourself that it will get better.

The busier you can stay, the better. Exercise can help your body and emotions return to something like normal. After my last breakup, I would go out and run for 30-40 minutes straight, after going to the gym for 90 minutes. I literally drove myself to exhaustion so I had to sleep.

You need to reach out to your friends in this situation. YOu may need to even ask them to help keep you busy. For the time being, it's probably healthier to put the mementos of your relationship away. Don't throw them away, because the day will come when they don't hold the pain they hold now. But you need to stop reopening the wound.

This will get better. And you have to keep telling yourself that. The bad days will get fewer and the pain will get less intense as you move through the process.

I don't know anyone who has reached adulthood without at least one broken heart. I've had three in my 45 years. It's terrible, but you do get through it.

Thank you guys for your inputs they really really helped.. if anyone has anything else to add please doo:(

I'm not sure what more to say that hasn't been said already. It's quite amazing how you two were able to be with each other for so long. A relationship that started in high school and lasting through all the high school years isn't common at all. However, I've heard of numerous couples who didn't make it during college years because the two of them end up going to colleges that are far away from each other. A lot of people go through this and I'm sure there are a bunch who have gone through what you have at your own college. I'm not sure what your network of friends is like but try talking to some of them. There has got to be at least one who had to break up due to the same reason you did.

Thanks for sharing.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Like Beagle said, keep yourself busy. Go out with friends and have a good time. When I have hard times I find that friend that is always smiling, the one that you can't help but laugh with. My guess is that him and this girl will break up, more relationships end than not. When they break up you might still be waiting, or you might realize that if he is doing this to you...you can do better.

Basically just hang in there and maybe in a few months/years, when you find someone else you love, you will think it was for the best.

Best of luck,

Nicole