I Constantly think my fiancee is cheating, Is she or am I paranoid?

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 3 years ago

Me and my fiancee have been together for two years with two kids. She has gotten angry with me a few times in the past and left and stayed gone overnight, no phone calls, nothing. She never even told me where she was going. Her family is constantly trying to convince her to engage in relationships with other people, and I have totally cut them out of our lives. She just got a new job as a waitress and I want so bad for her to quit so I dont worry all day. She sais at least once a week that she doesnt love me, and no longer wants a relationship, but when she gets over it she is the sweetest woman in the world. I really dont want to lose her, but I have a major trust issue with her. What do I do?

Replies(2)

Beagle

Re: I Constantly think my fiancee is cheating, Is she or am I paranoid?

3 years ago

It's tough sitting here to know if you're being paranoid or realistic. In thinking of your past relationships, has suspicion been a pattern for you? Is there objective evidence that she is seeing someone else?

It's obvious that the relationship is in trouble. One thing that jumped out at me was that you have cut her family out of your lives. It's interesting that you said "I have totally cut them out of our lives" instead of "we have totally cut them out of our lives." Is it possible she is rebelling against feeling controlled? I think this is a question you need to ask yourself.

Another possible interpretation of her behavior is that she has decided she wants out of the relationship but doesn't feel she can yet.

A third possibility is that your are reading things into her behavior that aren't there.

What do your friends tell you is happening? Often our friends are more objective that we are. Sometimes we don't ask them because we don't want to know. If you really want to know, I'll bet your friends can tell you. I think everyone in the county knew my wife was cheating before I did. You just have to be prepared to hear what they say without getting upset.

If you don't want to really know the truth, then don't ask them. There's no use being mad at your friends if you're not listening to them. One definite possibility here is that the evidence is right in front of you and you're just not wanting to see it.

There's my two cents; from a man who's been there. Good luck in sorting this out. I suspect you're pretty sure one way or the other, but just not sure enough to act. Sometimes we have to look fearlessly at things for what they really are.

spaniard_..

Re: I Constantly think my fiancee is cheating, Is she or am I paranoid?

2 years ago

When I'm in situations like this, and like Beagle the whole world knew my ex was cheating before I did, I learned the following: Don't follow your heart. Don't listen to the words. Always follow the actions. Her actions will lead you to the truth.

HTH...