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So. I have this friend. We dated for a few months, back about a year and a half ago.I was quite smitten, but she had recently been dumped by her before then fiancee, and I was the first person trying to get into a serious relationship with her. Add that to the fact that while she went to my school, she lived 30 miles away, and I at that point had no car (I got one three months later).
Well, anyway, we stop talking. A few months after that, we start and hang out a lot. She's flirty with me at times and we playfight all the time, and spend time together. Well, she gets a boyfriend, we stop talking as much. Don't hang out for about 2 months (she kept wanting to, I was busy at work when she asked, and I never pushed to hang out). Well, in late December of 2008, we hang out, and a few days later, her boyfriend beats her. She breaks up with him. Me and her start hanging out /all/ the time. I get the impression she wants me to make a move, I don't because I was dating a girl at the time. She's sending me messages on Facebook, text or phone constantly, cooking dinner for me every few days, wanting me to go clubbing with her every Monday night (one night after drinking she kisses me on the cheek and grabs my butt)
Anyway. So after about a month and a half single she starts dating this other guy, at one point while she is, we discuss our past history, and I tell her I would have preferred she be an ex, and she says she feels that based on what happened in her life it wasn't meant to be. She says she doesn't feel we should start a relationship. A month after that, she dumps the new guy and gets back with the abusive ex. Me and her are still hanging out semi-frequently. I've never met the ex at this point. She also at one point says that having sex with her is dangerous, and pokes me in the ribs. She also says to me earlier in that day "You're not interested in me....right?" when her boyfriend said she might have to make a choice between him and me, and she says that she would absolutely pick me.
Well, about a month after that, me and her take a trip to NYC alone This was where I realized I loved her. We don't do anything, but we stay physically close and are doing little fighting games and make flirty comments every now and again, as we always do. In addition, when someone asked if we were dating, she just about panicked and yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. He's not my boyfriend! XrandomgirlX is my girlfriend!" and gave her friend (that we were ostensibly visiting) a hug. Very very over the top.
I started drinking while in NYC, and a week after we got back we drank together at a party, and I just held her for a minute or two. She also asked me to kiss her, but on the cheek.
I should also mention, in the pictures after the trip to NYC, she insults me in every single solitary picture I am in. Again, not in a mean way. Calling me an idiot, saying I have disgusting my name germs, etc.
Also I should mention, all during this point we're intending on being roommates the next year.
Anyway. I meet the boyfriend, she tells me that she does NOT want me befriending him, after me and him get along amazingly (I am ashamed to admit it) and makes a point that everyone at her house party found me more annoying than him - a new record. She constantly says things that are trying to one-up me - not in a mean way, just in a "Look how more awesome I am than you" way.
Anyway, she breaks up with him again about 2-3 weeks after that. Immediately invites me out and is very insistent that I spend time with her. I don't. About 2-3 weeks after that, I tell her I'd like to hang out. She says that we absolutely need to, and she invites me to her cousin's wedding, and we leave about an hour or two after I text her.
First off, we talk a bit about what's happened, she tells me about the break up, I tell her about this woman I had gone on a date with who was the most attractive girl I'd gone on a date with (This was completely true). She gets VERY VERY VERY VERY self-conscious and for the rest of the weekend we spent together, insists she's not fat, that she looks fine, etc. She also refers to me as her ex at one point.
We drink there, we're playing, hugging each other, her uncle tries to get me to sit next to her (and is obviously encouraging me and her to be friendlier). She asks me if I feel we've been like brother and sister. I say no, we were dating at one point. She then asks about after that, and I tell her that I guess yes, we were like brother and sister.
Then she starts dating another guy shortly after this. Breaks up with him and gets back with abusive ex (note, didn't learn this until the final trip.)
I had lost my job several months before. It was why we didn't sign a lease together, as she was worried I'd be able to pay rent, and while she said "I love you, but I can't afford that much" - that was about 2 months before this next bit.
Anyway, I get a job offer 2,000 miles away. In a city 2 hours north of her dad. I post on Facebook. She's the first person to post saying that she'd miss me, and if she didn't have to work she would help me move. I ask her if she can get time off work. They say yes. She then says that she has no ability to pay for a ticket, she's very poor atm (which was and is true) I pay for a cheap one out of my relocation expenses. We drive out, taking about 2-3 days. She is set to be dropped off at her dad's 3 days later, and take a flight out the next day.
At dinner, the night before she was to be dropped off, I make a comment about how I'm perfect. She said that if I were perfect, she would have dated me (seriously, not casually as we did). I say we sorta did, and she says quite strongly that we didn't, not really.
The next day I start to drive her off to where her dad is. She starts a fight about how I'm an asshole and I make lots and lots of asshole comments, and it shows I don't know her at all. We stop fighting on the way, and get there. I'm nervous, and about to tell her I love her. I start the fight about knowing her. She says I don't know her. Nobody knows her, not even her ex-fiancee knew her. I tell her I care about her a lot more than I'm letting on by the mean comments. She argues with me, argues with me. Tells me to drop it. I won't. She asks why, and as we're pulling up to where her dad is, I yell at her "Because I love you!".
Her initial response is "You don't love me! You don't even know me!" and then completely trying to ignore it. She says hello to her dad, walks me out. I try to talk about it, she says that she is in love with another man, when and how could I love her, we hadn't hung out a ton in quite awhile, and that she sees me as a friend.
She walks inside. I drive away.
We had barely talked at all. She left Facebook messages to me occasionally and vice versa. I called her on her birthday for a minute. We were friendly and playful.
She got really, really drunk this past Monday night. I'm worried as she's posting on FB and no matter how much alcohol she has, she never does that. I text her, and she calls me back eventually.
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