Ask Dan & Jennifer

None of what you're saying is considered abnormal or wrong. Just to let you know, I am a guy who will be turning 27 this year and I've never had a gf. At the end of your post, you mention that you just got out on your first date. Being nervous is probably normal for this but you should also be excited. The more you keep thinking about this, the more it's going show on your date and this would be a definite turn off to the guy you're on a date with.

As for trying to learn how to kiss, there are videos available on YouTube for that. Dan and Jenn haven't done a video for it but others have. Just do a search on it.

It's completely normal, I didn't get a girlfriend until last fall, and that was when I was 18.

There are a lot of people in your situation with the same dating issues, and romance issues. Don't feel discouraged at all, there is nothing wrong with just slowly learning everything.

I suggest you go out to your first date, don't expect too much though. Just be polite and thank him after the date and every time he does something out of his way for you. Kissing on the first date is kind of a hit or miss, I don't think it happens every time and it defensively didn't happen to me the first time. Usually people are understanding when others are unaware of what to do because they are first timers.

If you have any questions or concerns to other problems while dating just post on this forum there are a lot of answers and if you search you will find answers to almost all of your questions.

This link provided here How to Kiss Passionately - wikiHow will take you to a how to site that will tell you how to kiss decently. I used it and it seems to do pretty good for me. Read it and watch the video at the bottom its very educational.

Thank you guys for your advice. Just one more question... Is this something I should tell guys about? Like as a fair warning? Or should I just go with it and hope no one notices? Haha

Thanks again for answering and helping me out.

Tell guys that your still new to daring and all, I would say no unless they ask. That is all your business, besides if their smart they will be able to tell. Just don't feel embarrassed about it everyone has to start some time.

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them, e.g. men become builders by building and lyreplayers by playing the lyre; so too we become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.

I'm going to use this quote from Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics to answer this question. You won't become romantic until you start to behave in a romantic fashion.

Originally posted by: Rae
Thank you guys for your advice. Just one more question... Is this something I should tell guys about? Like as a fair warning? Or should I just go with it and hope no one notices? Haha

Thanks again for answering and helping me out.

It's up to you whether you want to tell people. Both Xero and Beagle are right with what they said (or quoted in Beagle's case). I'm not embarrassed to tell people that I've never been in a relationship. In fact, I probably mention it just about anytime whenever I'm with a group of people and the topic of romance comes up. If the guy you're on a date with asks you if this is your first relationship, I'd say tell him the truth. I've never heard of a guy dumping a girl because she hasn't had previous relationships.

This last post falls under the category "What were they thinking?" I'm issuing an infraction for spamming.

its just normal..youre not too old to have romantic affair with someone..

dont worry theres someone out there who will just come and soo right for you..

Originally posted by: Rae
O.k so the long and short of it is this...

I am 18, a freshman in college and I have absolutely no experience. I've never had a boyfriend, never kissed a guy, I've never even been on a date.

I'm a little over weight, so I guess that could be part of the problem, but I'm not huge by any means, I still shop in the 'misses' section and I wear a size 14 jean (never thought I'd ever reveal that haha) I've been told I'm really funny, gorgeous, and nice (sometimes too nice) But the worst of it is I'm a Great Friend. (youch)

I guess my main issue is that this is really tearing at my self esteem, I don't even want to pursue romance anymore because I'm afraid that a guy would be disgusted and disappointed to find out that I don't even know how to give a simple kiss. I feel almost as if I have some sort of STD!

Is this something I should warn potentials about? Or would it send them running for the hills?

Please help, I just recently got asked out on my first date and I'm tempted just to cancel out of fear of disappointing him...

Thank you everyone who takes the time to respond or who took the time to read my ranting.

I think the the right guy for you whom you will fall in love and feels the same way like you hasn't come yet. Just be patient about it and enjoy the freedom of being single. I think there is nothing wrong with you it is just that no one comes yet to love you and love back.

This is one of those posts where people will give an answer, but saying is much easier then doing.

The thing people freak about with no experience is that very first approach to a subject, for example, the kiss. You will get to a moment where you feel its "time" but do you move forward and take that risk? Should they? If they don't and both people hesitate should I not move forward for the kiss? These are the kinds of things go through your head at this stage and freak you out.

My best advise is communication. This too can be hard but easier then those sticky moments mentioned above. My experience has found asking someone to a Cafe' for coffee\lunch is best for a quick or long chat. Its a good atmosphere for talking. This is where you ask if they would like to go out with you. If they do then you can let them know you have little experience. If not then stick with the "friend" thing you have going and continue your conversation with something fun.

If you do take the approach to meet up and chat you don't need to blurt out everything. Make a conversation like you do with friends and have some fun. After a while change the subject and ask your questions.

As for kissing, take it slow and pretend their lips are very fragile. Be gentle in your kiss and you can't go wrong. Also, for long periods of kissing, its like lots and lots of kisses but slow and gentle. With practice you will try new types of kissing. Hope that made sense.

Hope this helps. :cool: