Im in love with her but shes not my wife.

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 3 years ago

I am at a loss for words about this but I will do my best to ask this question. I have been married for 20 + years and our sex life has been gone for the last 5 to 7 years. After thinking it thru for several months, I gave in to the online personal adds and I have found the most amazing woman. She and I hit it off so well. She knew I was married from the start. She said that all she was looking for was someone to fulfill her needs and she didnt want to go thru with the dating bs.. She just wanted a little male company from time to time. So I thought this is a dream to find someone who just wanted sex and all would be ok...Wrong... After we swapped emails and pictures for a few weeks and talked on the phone for hours we decited it was time to meet in person. We did and we each enjoyed the other. We met a few times and just spend the day together talking and getting to know one another...you see where this is going?? And then we met at night and the kissing and touching started.. IT was wonderful.. She was so hot and was a dream. She held to me like I was the last man on earth.. But she wouldnt have sex that night.. Just a little oral and touching. I know she wanted to cause when she got out of my truck she left a wet spot that took several mins to clean up.
The next time we met it was on and we spent the next 5 + hours exploring each others body. She had many orgasms... and so did I. I found out what it was like to get off several times and stay erect for 5+ hours. And we have only made love this one night. It was the best sex either of us ever had. She sent me many messages, emails telling me that she dont know what happened that night..she cant believe that we both did that.. that sex could be like that. So after telling all that, here is my problem. We are both in love with each other, but she has called it quits cause she says that she is not good enough for me... She says that I deserve better. That she cant do this. Says that she is so in love with me. That I carried her to another level. That she had never made love like that. But I want her and I dont know what to do. She has quit calling and quit emailing..what am I to do now that I have fell in love with her and she with me but we cant have each other? How do I get her back?

Replies(2)

scarlett_..

I have to say you don't

3 years ago

Sorry. Unless you want to end your marriage, you don't. Have you considered telling your wife about your affair and going to counseling? Do you think there is any way to save your marriage?

If you continue your affair while being married it will not end well. It hardly ever does. They always find out. My husband found out.

fawkse

Re: Im in love with her but shes not my wife.

3 years ago

have you thought that perhaps she got what she wanted, and now sha has no use for you?
yes, women can be dogs just like men.
i think you got played.
the affair in any case, was wrong to do in the first place. stepping oustide your marriage instead of trying to connect with the woman you vowed to cherish is not right.
the grass will always look greener on the other side. that is something all of us just have to accept.
a marriage isn't like a car. when it's old and worn down, you can go out and buy a new one, but you can't keep replacing your wife. you made a vow to be with her. changing the person every time you get bored will only leave you lonely in the end.
no is perfect. we all make mistakes. i hope you learn from this.
the woman whom is at home waiting for you wouldn't treat you like the woman whom you cheated with.
counseling for yourself could help you find what you lost in yourself and your wife. people don't just fade away from eachother in time. relatioships are a full time job. when we start slacking, our job preformance starts a down ward spiral.
i'm not saying that this situation is your entire fault, but you did step outside of your marriage. i'm sure your wife has blame in not being their for you too, but how can she know if you can not communicate with her?
take a momment and ask yourself how you would feel if your wife was cheating? what if she came home one night and told you she found the man of her dreams. his sex preformance and his companionship out did anything she has ever had. how would you feel? it would hurt very bad. you would be crushed.
if you decide to tell her what happend, i would expect her to be crushed. yes, honesty is something she deserves, but just remeber how you would feel if she was the one telling you this.
good luck,
~fawkse~