First question that comes to my mind: Have you guys talked about this openly?
Yes, there is an issue when in a relationship two aggressive or passive people get together. You need to work in finding the right balance. For once, he can be passive, then next time he can work being a little more aggressive. Alternate :)
Now, if you have a mutual friend, have you consider a threesome? It is a hard topic to talk about but sometimes it might add some spice and some... roughness?
The key is to talk about it. There is no need for any of you to change the way you are completely, just to adecuate your bodies into the occasion.
Jean
-who is almost 18 and alone :(